Page 5 | Does your teen eat meals with you?

Tinkerblonde1 · 2022-05-04T08:47:08+00:00

My dd age 14 hasn't eaten a family meal with us for about 4 weeks. She always wants to be out with her friends. Is this normal? I always read on here how it is the one thing people insist on. I am treading carefully as my dd is under cahms due to an incident with her Dad so I tread carefully. Her friends are sometimes here at my home until 8.30 so they don't go home for meals either. I am a teacher also and it seems it is common for teens to go out with friends from school and head home about 8pm. I absolutely hate it and hope she grows out of it but I am treading carefully due to mental health. AIBU? Or shall I put a stop to it.

MissyB1 · 06/05/2022 17:39

Yes ds age 13 eats breakfast and dinner with us. Dinner is usually about 7pm.

Although on a weekend he gets his own breakfast as we are usually out walking the dog by the time he gets up.

DragonOverTheMoon · 06/05/2022 17:41

I think its such a wannabe MC thing to insist your teens sit to the table like good little darlings. Like that's the only place you can bond with them.

My dc did sit to the table and learn table manners etc, all through primary.

They're 15 and 16. They have lives, one works, they have hobbies, they have mates and sometimes even if they're in I let them take their dinner to their bedrooms to eat in front of their computers.

I do make them sit up with me for a sunday roast, but I don't do a roast every sunday. I don't even cook every night, they sort themselves out, cook shit freezer food that they prefer to my usual veggie meal that I make. Sometimes they have leftovers. I don't need to sit up to the table to hear about their day, they come into my room around 10ish most bloody nights and tell me all about their day, their friendship drama etc. I'm close enough to my darling children without having to sit up to a table with them.

MissyB1 · 06/05/2022 17:50

@DragonOverTheMoon
What makes you think teens have to be forced to sit and eat with the family? Mine bloody loves our cooked dinners. He wouldn’t choose to eat “shit freezer food” on his own in his room.

Oh and he has lots of hobbies, including 3 different after school clubs.

Anonymous48 · 06/05/2022 17:54

DragonOverTheMoon · 06/05/2022 17:41

I think its such a wannabe MC thing to insist your teens sit to the table like good little darlings. Like that's the only place you can bond with them.

My dc did sit to the table and learn table manners etc, all through primary.

They're 15 and 16. They have lives, one works, they have hobbies, they have mates and sometimes even if they're in I let them take their dinner to their bedrooms to eat in front of their computers.

I do make them sit up with me for a sunday roast, but I don't do a roast every sunday. I don't even cook every night, they sort themselves out, cook shit freezer food that they prefer to my usual veggie meal that I make. Sometimes they have leftovers. I don't need to sit up to the table to hear about their day, they come into my room around 10ish most bloody nights and tell me all about their day, their friendship drama etc. I'm close enough to my darling children without having to sit up to a table with them.

My children are both in their early 20's now. They have never once been forced to sit at the table to eat with us, and it would never have occurred to them to take their meal to eat alone in their rooms. I feel sorry for you that you have to "make" your children sit and eat with you sometimes.

DragonOverTheMoon · 06/05/2022 18:00

Feel sorry for me all you like 🤣🤣 I have great adventures with my dc and a lovely close relationship without having to force them into a MC wannabe aspirational life style.

Anonymous48 · 06/05/2022 18:04

DragonOverTheMoon · 06/05/2022 18:00

Feel sorry for me all you like 🤣🤣 I have great adventures with my dc and a lovely close relationship without having to force them into a MC wannabe aspirational life style.

OK, whatever, but you're the only one who mentioned "forcing" your kids to do anything. (Sitting with you for a Sunday roast.)

I have no idea what MC wannabe means, but as I said before I have never forced my kids into any kind of "lifestyle".

Original poster

Tinkerblonde1 · 06/05/2022 18:43

My children are both in their early 20's now. They have never once been forced to sit at the table to eat with us, and it would never have occurred to them to take their meal to eat alone in their rooms. I feel sorry for you that you have to "make" your children sit and eat with you sometimes.

That's a bit harsh. Some children just don't like food and making a thing of eating. How patronising.

OP posts:

Anonymous48 · 06/05/2022 19:04

Tinkerblonde1 · 06/05/2022 18:43

My children are both in their early 20's now. They have never once been forced to sit at the table to eat with us, and it would never have occurred to them to take their meal to eat alone in their rooms. I feel sorry for you that you have to "make" your children sit and eat with you sometimes.

That's a bit harsh. Some children just don't like food and making a thing of eating. How patronising.

I was responding to the poster who said that some of us "...insist your teens sit to the table like good little darlings. Like that's the only place you can bond with them." Talk about patronizing! I don't feel at all bad for potentially being patronizing in return.

Needwine999 · 06/05/2022 19:05

Feel sorry? I would not make my teens sit with us every night and they can eat in their rooms! Dont get the whole fuss over eating together, there are so many other ways to bond ffs

MolliciousIntent · 09/07/2022 14:57

Does her dad live with you? If so, is it possible that she's avoiding family meals with him since "the incident" ??