Does your teen eat meals with you?

[Tinkerblonde1]

My dd age 14 hasn't eaten a family meal with us for about 4 weeks. She always wants to be out with her friends.
Is this normal? I always read on here how it is the one thing people insist on.

I am treading carefully as my dd is under cahms due to an incident with her Dad so I tread carefully.

Her friends are sometimes here at my home until 8.30 so they don't go home for meals either. I am a teacher also and it seems it is common for teens to go out with friends from school and head home about 8pm.

I absolutely hate it and hope she grows out of it but I am treading carefully due to mental health.

AIBU? Or shall I put a stop to it.

Thanks all for your opinions. Seems quite mixed.

I think it's totally random, having just heated up some pasta for DS16 before he goes to work! But we do have some house rules: I don't cook twice so if he isn't able to eat with us it's a reheat/beans on toast/micro meal job. And if he is in and home, then he eats with us at the table. I have very strong feelings about plates of food being eaten in rooms! If there's another DC here, they get invited to eat with us but if no then it's no bother and DS sorts himself out later.

And here. I would never have expected not to eat with my dd, but she can't be near me eating, or even breathing/speaking. I'd give anything to go back to the 'norm' of family mealtimes 😔

14 is still a very young teen. I would want them eating dinner at the take with the family unit. I think routine is really important at that age. God knows what she’s up to if she’s out every single night?!

Generally, yes. If they see a friend after school, they need to be home for dinner unless they've let me know in advance. Sometimes they have activities which mean we can't all eat at the same time, but everyone who's at home eats together. And I have one day a week where I meal plan for meals which can be easily stretched to feed more people, and they know that they can invite up to 2 friends each over to eat with us on those days.

DD is 14 and has dinner with us every weeknight. She goes out for a coffee etc with friends after school but is always home by early evening so we eat together. Weekends vary a lot- she might go for a pizza with friends or to the cinema but is usually home for dinner at least one evening.

I would feel concerned about a child of that age being out so much, what they’re eating, when they’re doing homework etc. I’d also feel a bit out of touch with DD if she was out so much- I think at that age girls still need quite a lot of support.

Usually just sat with her mates in my house, garden or in the park.

She does her homework at school. They actually don't get too much as only year 9. I work at her school so probably know more about her mates than most parents.

Crikey my DD10 never eats with us let alone the teenager

Do they eat in their room?

Not anymore, no.

DTs(15) prefer to eat around 4-5 then snack again at 9.

DD16 prefers to eat around 8:30 and eats a small amount of anything.

DS18 is out a lot, or just prefers to grab a ready meal when he feels like it.

DH and I eat together but with variable working hours that can be anytime from 6-9 which doesn’t suit teen schedules.

and I’m fine with that - after cooking daily for 6 in lockdown I just can’t be arsed anymore!!

No. Teen eats whenever he's hungry and cooks for himself.

DD eats earlier than us so either sits at the table alone or in the lounge with me. Depends what she's doing. I don't allow cooked food upstairs

DS is 14 in the summer. We eat around 7 and I ask him to be home for tea/dinner, but none of his friends seem to have to be home until it's dark. I feel mean asking him to come home early but he needs to eat too. I'm really torn

This is the problem I have. A lot of teens seem to roam about until it's dark. Ok on the winter but summer is difficult.

Yes mostly. At 14 almost every night, they'd be cooking one night too.

Mine weren't allowed to roam around after school.

If they are hanging out at your house, can you run to feeding them all dinner? At least you know they are eating something. And eating in company would surely be good for her.
Expensive potential though.

I have at times but it does get a bit much every night.
I do wonder what their parents think they are doing though.

I don’t understand op? Do other parents not want their kids home?

DD eats most meals with us, especially dinner as it is either after an activity or before Explorers.

She may sleep late so won't eat breakfast with us but we try to avoid it at the moment as she is struggleing with appetit due to anxiety and stress and we need to make sure she has small and healthy meals to avoid further weight loss.

They don't roam around they play football at the local football have or they go to the beach or out on their bikes. They are sensible Y9's they definitely aren't antisocial (or smoking or drinking 100%)

*football cage! Oh for an edit function

But you have a year 9 not home until after 8pm. When does she do her homework? In my experience it’s not common for kids to be out with their friends every night after school. An activity fine but not just hanging out with friends.

She doesn't really get much homework.
Though I do want her to study more for her year 9 exams. So this is another thing the counsellor has said not to push for now as only year 9.

I know where she is as she is mostly at my house.
This has just been in the last month as it has got lighter outside. So curfew was extended. Most of her friends its 9.30 though on a school night!

I am a teacher. It is fairly common.
In fact if I was to walk out now. I would see a fair few students.