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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What age should you get a mobile phone?

74 replies

Feckingfeck · 03/05/2022 08:34

DS (9) wants a phone for his upcoming birthday. I am extremely reluctant. He doesn't walk to school alone or need it to communicate with me at any point.

What age did you get mobile phones for your children?

AIBU to ignore his request and steer his birthday list in a different direction?

Thanks

OP posts:
alphasox · 03/05/2022 08:36

Read the other thread about the 9 yr old girl and a phone and you’ll realise it’s a terrible idea.

we are getting one for our 11 yr old for when he has to get the bus to senior school from September but that will be with strict controls about what’s on it, amount of time it can be used and a good talk about what’s ok and not ok when messaging.

ItsSnowJokes · 03/05/2022 08:37

Secondary school at the earliest. No 9 year old needs a phone.

Lovelydovey · 03/05/2022 08:38

The last term of year six - so that they can get numbers and keep in contact with primary friends when they move to secondary.

Seabreeze18 · 03/05/2022 08:39

I will be getting my child a mobile on the summer term before going to senior school at 11. That way they get used to it before going. I think it’s a very bad idea before then and no need.

PumpkinsandKittens · 03/05/2022 08:42

Mine got one at 10, no SIM card and not on any WhatsApp groups, I wouldn’t allow that anyway so I think depends on the reason for getting it.

OfstedOffred · 03/05/2022 08:46

Children often want things they can't or shouldn't have, it's not rocket science you just say no?!

My 5 year old wants a car, a Nintendo switch, an iPad, a hoverboard go cart, none of which I will be getting him!

Original poster
Feckingfeck · 03/05/2022 08:50

OfstedOffred · 03/05/2022 08:46

Children often want things they can't or shouldn't have, it's not rocket science you just say no?!

My 5 year old wants a car, a Nintendo switch, an iPad, a hoverboard go cart, none of which I will be getting him!

I have no issue saying no to him Hmm I was simply curious at what age others think a mobile phone is appropriate.

It was going so well... should have known there would be a few snappy responses 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
timestheyarechanging · 03/05/2022 08:55

My daughter had a very basic one at 10 (13 yrs ago so before smart phones thankfully) because she had a pony and had to go into a field of horses to bring her in so I needed her to be able to call me if she needed help.
Son 11 I think, because he was travelling independently to school.
They've both now got far better phones than me but pay for them themselves!
Why does she need a phone at 9 unless she's walking to school by herself?

timestheyarechanging · 03/05/2022 08:56

'He' sorry

LowbrowVictoriana · 03/05/2022 08:58

Seabreeze18 · 03/05/2022 08:39

I will be getting my child a mobile on the summer term before going to senior school at 11. That way they get used to it before going. I think it’s a very bad idea before then and no need.

This is exactly what I did for my youngest two.

Rebecca75 · 03/05/2022 08:58

My son had one at 9 but purely so he could communicate with his dad as we are divorced. He is in year 6 now and all his friends now have one - a lot got them for birthdays and Christmas this year so that they are ready for secondary school.
my 9 year old daughter won’t be getting one till year 6 as she can use her brothers one to communicate with her dad.

BubblegumIceLollies · 03/05/2022 08:59

A simple mobile phone at 11. A smart phone ideally when they've left the home and can buy one themselves! If not, 16 and finished secondary school. Secondary school children are too immature for one.
A firm no to any at 9.

MakkaPakkas · 03/05/2022 09:00

M DC are 11 and 14. They both got Nokia's when they started secondary school. Neither has a smart phone yet. I'm thinking about getting the elder one a smart phone soon, basically because it's hard to engage in adult life without one (maps, train tickets, taxis, bloody QR codes etc) but honestly I'm very reluctant. I wish I didn't have one.

Bathroom2022 · 03/05/2022 09:07

When they are on their own, so probably year 6. I was going to get a non smart phone but he does need access to maps etc. I want him to have whatsapp so he can drop me a pin etc if he's lost, but he won't need access to the phone in the house and I will input his contacts. I'm not sure what else to do really. We're very rural and he's quite vulnerable without a phone.

OddBoots · 03/05/2022 09:08

My children are young adults now but when we first gave them access to a mobile phone it was a PAYG phone that was not their phone but one they borrowed when going out but came back to us when they came home. They went to a secondary school that didn't permit mobiles so there was no need for one at a specific age.

BeautifulDragon · 03/05/2022 09:08

My 9yo also wants a phone, but we are waiting until summer term of yr6. Not that I think it's the magic age or there won't be any issues, but 9 just seems so young.

Lots of her friends have them and she says she misses out on messaging/ facetime etc, but I don't think this is a bad thing. If I can keep her away from it for a few more years then I will.

When she's not at school she busy functioning in the real world. At clubs, activities and with family, she doesn't need the burden of being in constant contact with school friends.

womaninatightspot · 03/05/2022 09:10

Ds got one for 11th birthday. He gets unlimited data on a 20quid contract. Our internet is rubbish so he uses it at home in a router for his computer. Off to secondary after the summer so he's had time to get used to it. He's been responsible with it so far. I monitor usage and websites visited plus parental controls set up.

womaninatightspot · 03/05/2022 09:13

Meant to say he did have a dummy phone at 9 with no SIM. Mainly used in the car with either my phone as a hotspot or playing downloaded games. No WhatsApp or chat stuff.

skgnome · 03/05/2022 09:16

I gave my DD one at 10.5 she was starting to go out to the park or walking to and from school by herself
and with Covid rules we couldn’t wait for her in swimming lessons (and other classes where she needs to change after) - so was handy for her to call me when she was ready and for me to call back when I was in front of the building
it’s been a year and her phone is still linked to mine, time limits and locks on what she can download or use
a 9yo I would say it’s too young… 10 is about the time where kids start getting phones… I was upgrading so gave her my old phone.. at 10 you know the phone will end up broken or lost… so don’t spend a lot of money

user1471505494 · 03/05/2022 09:18

ItsSnowJokes · 03/05/2022 08:37

Secondary school at the earliest. No 9 year old needs a phone.

In some areas there are middle schools that children go to for yr 5 to yr 8. This involves a lot more walking on there own and most of them have phones

TomRipley · 03/05/2022 09:20

12, when they started secondary although the asking for one started about two years earlier. There were definitely 9/10 year olds with brand new iPhones in year 4!

Badger1970 · 03/05/2022 09:22

Mine had them when they went to secondary, as it involved a long bus journey each way and they were out the house for 9ish hours a day.

Notimeforaname · 03/05/2022 09:22

If it's a phone just to make calls, fine.

If it's a smartphone you'll have to accept that your child will have access to porn or potential for people to send/request illegal things.

I work with children who are allowed to have phones. We are writing up incident reports every day about things we see them watching or sending to each other

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 03/05/2022 09:22

DD got one at 10 to keep in contact with old friends when we moved. (Via the dreaded WhatsApp but it is just 1-1 with friends, just texting really. Its mostly pictures of each others dogs!) We are just about to put money on it for the first time, a year later, as shes going to a Scout event without a pick up time

Short answer... when they need it, not desire it.

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