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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What age should you get a mobile phone?

74 replies

Feckingfeck · 03/05/2022 08:34

DS (9) wants a phone for his upcoming birthday. I am extremely reluctant. He doesn't walk to school alone or need it to communicate with me at any point.

What age did you get mobile phones for your children?

AIBU to ignore his request and steer his birthday list in a different direction?

Thanks

OP posts:

courgettigreensadwater · 07/01/2023 17:42

My two DS both got them the first year they went to secondary school for that particular birthday. Youngest DS birthday is the end of March so he got it then and started in September. Mainly as they were both them walking to school and stuff so it is reassuring.

Parker231 · 07/01/2023 17:44

Age 11 when they started getting the Tube to and from school on their own.

EnglishGirlApproximately · 07/01/2023 17:50

We gave ten year old DS an old iPhone when we went to Orlando recently in case of emergency and so he could access the photo passes and ride queues. The phone is now his but he only has it if we go somewhere busy in case we get separated, and he has his three closest friends on a WhatsApp group so they can chat. All the groups parents have spoken and agreed that we will monitor the chat, and if any of them share their numbers outside of this group WhatsApp is deleted.
It mostly lives in a drawer, he maybe uses it every couple of weeks. We have family link on so he can't download anything without permission, nothing is password protected etc.
I think this is a good time to teach him responsible usage while his friends are still quite young ten year olds, before he goes to secondary and is with kids who might have been exposed to very different things!

Athenen0ctua · 07/01/2023 17:53

DS had a dumb phone from 8 as we had no home phone for when he was home alone.

Normandy144 · 07/01/2023 17:59

My DD is 9 and in year 5. She's not asked for one and thankfully I'm not aware of anyone with a phone in her year so if there's any then they're a minority. We're thinking the summer term of year 6 which seems to be in step with most of her friends.

Emmamoo89 · 07/01/2023 17:59

I was 12. Loved my Nokia 3210 🤣🤣

Beezknees · 07/01/2023 18:02

I got DS one for his 10th birthday. That's how old I was when I got my first phone

TheWorstWeek · 07/01/2023 18:04

I'm still a way off having to properly do/think about this but i think around the Easter of their last year in primary school will probably be best for my DC who'll both be 11 at that point. That way they can make sure to keep in touch with any friends that go to a different high school from them. Also, I would imagine they'll have a wee bit more freedom and independence starting high school so I'd like them to have it for then.

Coasterfan · 07/01/2023 18:05

My two had them in year 5 so the Christmas after they turned 10. The majority of their friends had them at this time although some had them earlier and some didn’t get them until secondary. They were very closely monitored at this age though.

YourWinter · 07/01/2023 18:06

Not before 11 or their last term in Year 6, and definitely not a smartphone with internet access, whatever he tells you about “everyone” having them.

Rawroink · 07/01/2023 18:11

All mine got one when at secondary as there are clubs or bus is late
who is a 9 year old phoning?

If they are wanting to game can’t they get a tablet or a switch?

would suggest too young and too expensive

PinkSyCo · 07/01/2023 18:22

Obviously you wouldn’t be unreasonable to say no to getting your 9 year old a phone. What a weird question.

Athenen0ctua · 07/01/2023 18:25

Rawroink · 07/01/2023 18:11

All mine got one when at secondary as there are clubs or bus is late
who is a 9 year old phoning?

If they are wanting to game can’t they get a tablet or a switch?

would suggest too young and too expensive

DS needed one so we could phone or text each other if need be, no home phone.

illiterato · 07/01/2023 18:25

Ds was 11 and dd 9 ( almost 10). We use Apple family sharing so they can only use apps I’ve approved and use a content blocker. Neither uses social media. Ds actually rarely uses his phone at all- it’s usually uncharged and in a drawer somewhere. Dd uses WhatsApp a lot to keep in touch with friends ( we moved back from overseas which was why they got the phones earlier than I’d ideally have liked). They are not allowed the phones at school. They only take them out of the house when they need them to contact me. They also both know I can look at their phones if I ask. In a way I think it was good to have them younger as the novelty has worn off. We don’t have a landline so I like them having a phone if they’re home by themselves.

illiterato · 07/01/2023 18:27

To add, in Year 7 (ds) they nearly all have phones but in Year 6( dd) it’s a mixed bag so seems that ends of year 6 is the time when those that don’t have , get them, which sort of makes sense.

ChrisPPancake · 07/01/2023 18:49

Our DC got them on their birthday in year 6.

GarlandsinGreece · 07/01/2023 18:57

We got our DS an Apple Watch for his 11th birthday. It’s just texting, calls and music, no Internet. He’s fine with that, and I definitely want to delay an iPhone until he’s around 15/16.

OzziePopPop · 07/01/2023 19:14

Lovelydovey · 03/05/2022 08:38

The last term of year six - so that they can get numbers and keep in contact with primary friends when they move to secondary.

This is what we did. Having the phone slightly before secondary also reduced the newness and excitement over having it a bit. School have an ‘off and away, for the whole day’ policy so it helped!

Grumpybutfunny · 07/01/2023 20:53

DS is getting one for his 10th birthday, he currently has an iPad anyway so phone doesn't seem a big step. They all currently chat on Roblox messenger and discord anyways

Orangebadger · 07/01/2023 20:58

GarlandsinGreece · 07/01/2023 18:57

We got our DS an Apple Watch for his 11th birthday. It’s just texting, calls and music, no Internet. He’s fine with that, and I definitely want to delay an iPhone until he’s around 15/16.

Oh this is a good idea! Must look into. I am clueless about new gadgets!

purpleme12 · 07/01/2023 21:03

Mine is 9. She doesn't have a phone and won't for a while yet.
However I do know a few of her friends have one.
Anyway in my opinion they should have a phone when they go out to play by themselves.
I haven't let mine at 9 yet but some people on here say they have.
Or year 6 at some point.
Definitely high school anyway
But obviously just my opinion on what I would do

Bumblefuzz · 07/01/2023 21:46

DD had hers for her 10th birthday, but it was mid 2020 and we were in lockdown. It wasn't the intention, I was originally going to do it for her 11th birthday before high school. I control her access from my phone though, particularly as she has a few SEN/MH issues and can be easily overwhelmed. We had a meltdown situation at Christmas and I took her phone until she returned to school as she (we all) needed a break from her being permanently connected to her peers

NatureNurture85 · 05/06/2023 23:14

I know Year 3 kids with IPhone 14s!
im trying to make it to age 13 here!

baffledcoconut · 05/06/2023 23:23

Mine had one at 7. It couldn’t take photos, access the internet or call anyone except me, my husband and the grandparents. It was entirely just for emergencies or if they needed to get home or contact us (I’m looking at you organised clubs who refused to let them go home when feeling unwell). It lived in the bottom of the rucksack and wasn’t made a thing of.

Its going to be a very long time before there is a smart phone or camera phone allowed.

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