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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you what time you go to bed?

114 replies

crispytowel · 02/05/2022 22:23

I'm constantly knackered and promise myself to go to bed early and wake up at a decent time so that I can fit in breakfast for myself and not rush around but never actually manage. By the time I lie down after dinner/chores it's 9pm and I feel like I "need to enjoy my adult time" and either binge watch or read/text/faff about. I'm not particularly happy with my routine. What's yours? DH says it's normal not to go to bed before 11pm but I think we are the exception rather than the rule...

OP posts:
PissedOffNeighbour22 · 03/05/2022 04:24

I usually go to bed between 1 and 2am but if the baby wants a feed then it will be later. I usually wake between 4 and 5am and if I'm lucky I might nod back off for an hour or two.
I sleep a bit better when my partner works nights a couple of times a week - but tonight my toddler was up before 4am so that's my bit of extra sleep ruined.

I've always slept badly and would kill to experience a wonderful night's sleep or to know what it feels like not to be exhausted 24/7.
I'm on maternity leave and dreading going back to leaving at 5:30am for work. I don't think I'll manage it anymore. I feel too old and knackered.

SonicWomb · 03/05/2022 04:37

@PissedOffNeighbour22 can I ask why you go to bed so late, do you have trouble falling asleep? Do you nap in the day to make up for it at all? It must be really hard functioning on so little rest.

I have had many years with similar sleep patterns to you, either because of work, babies or family trauma (often at same time), but I have had to start prioritising sleep as it’s had such a bad impact on my health. To be honest, a lot of the changes were driven by my going to bed depressed as exhausted, but doing so has helped to break bad habits.

GlamGiraffe · 03/05/2022 04:38

Anything ftom 9pm to 1am depending on rhe circumsrtanes. Although i do get up at 7 30 to get DD ready for school, DH takes her as she starts at the same time tine as him opposite the office. On days when Ive been to bed late i actually go back to sleep after they've left. Ironically i have a medical condition which requires lots of sleep so should be in bed at about 8 but ive always been a real night owl so naturally i wouldnt fall. Asleep until about 230am.
Ive woken up as it feel inexplicably very hot in here. Not sure why.
Go to bed when YOU are tired and that gives you enough tine to be properly rested for the. tell DH not to wake you when he comes to bed. The amount of sleep people need varies as do their natural sleep rhythms.

HouseofHolbein · 03/05/2022 04:40

I go up at 9pm generally asleep by 9:30 at the latest. I start work at 5am so my alarm goes off just before 4am.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 03/05/2022 05:30

About 10pm. Usually up before 6am on a weekday.

EarringsandLipstick · 03/05/2022 05:36

These days I'm usually asleep by 9:00. But I do wake several times during the night and I'm usually up by 5/530

The same for me.

I was always a night owl & someone who didn't need lots of sleep. I remember looking in disbelief at my DSis & BIL who jumped up at 10 saying it was late!

But peri menopause especially changed all that. I had massive sleep issues for several years before the magical HRT.

Now I sleep much better but not perfectly.

I get up at 530 to exercise & don't stop all day, then kids' activities in the evening. I'm exhausted by 830 & would happily sleep then.

I try to get to bed by 930 & if I can be asleep by 1030 that's good. It often doesn't work out as kids disturb me & then I find myself awake later & not sleepy then.

I long for a chance to go to bed at 830, read & go to sleep at 915 or so! I agree with the poster that talks about missing evenings. I never get to sit down, watch TV etc.

Flowersandwine12 · 03/05/2022 05:37

Into bed at 9pm, sometimes I'll read until 930. Up at 530

hamdden12 · 03/05/2022 05:42

Usually between 8-9pm. In my defence I'm up at 03:30 so need some sleep. My body clock is totally ruined, I can't stay in bed past 05:00 now much to everyone else in the households delight.

RichTeaRichTea · 03/05/2022 05:42

8.30-9pm but I have small early-rising children and usually a couple of wake-ups in the night with my youngest. I see this as temporary while needs must, pre children (and hopefully in the future) I usually slept from about 10.30pm-6.30am.

LuaDipa · 03/05/2022 05:47

I try to go no later than 9pm. 8 would be preferable but there’s not much chance of that. I get up at 5am.

PukkaP · 03/05/2022 05:50

Between 9 and 10. Normally closer to 9.

Royforwin · 03/05/2022 05:57

I go to bed before 9. Wake up by 5. I have a one year old who wakes up for milk twice in between

DaisyWaldron · 03/05/2022 06:10

Bed around 9pm. Up at 5am. I do all the housework and prep dinner before I go to work, so when I get home at around 6pm I don't have anything to do and can just relax.

Autienotnaughtie · 03/05/2022 06:10

We get ds in bed 730 try to sit down by 8 and go to bed 930-10. Dh is up between 5-6 for work and I get up at 6. On a weekend stay up till around 11-12 as one of us gets up about 730 with ds other lays in till 9-10.

onewednesdayindecember · 03/05/2022 06:15

I go to bed at about 9pm at the moment, but I’ve got a young baby who wakes through the night. Normally it would be 10.30pm. I had sleep issues years ago and I found a strict bedtime really helped

Bluepolkadots42 · 03/05/2022 06:15

Since I Ieft uni and got a job where I needed to arrive by 7.15am I've always gone to bed by 9.30pm- that was pre kids. Currently have a 3 month old and so am in bed anytime from 7pm when our eldest 3yo goes down, just so I can get a decent chunk of sleep. Initially I didn't mind because I was so desperate for sleep but 3 months in and it is starting to grind because I would just really love to have my evenings back a little back and be able to enjoy staying awake later without the crushing weight of knowing that by doing so I am reducing my total sleep that night to 3 or 4 hours. I've always been someone who needs 8.5/9 hours a night and I really struggle with sleep deprivation, my MH suffers etc. My DH is a total night own and always has been.

AlternativePerspective · 03/05/2022 06:17

Between 9 and 10 depending on when the dog goes to sleep. I let them out at around 9 but the older one has some cognitive decline so needs me to stay with him until he’s sleeping.

then watch tv or read. Sometimes I fall asleep with the tv on but then all I have to do is switch it off.

TangoWhiskyAlphaTango · 03/05/2022 06:19

9.00-9.30pm usually lights out before 10pm. Wake up around 5.30am - 6.30am. I love sleep!

tiredanddangerous · 03/05/2022 06:20

I go up at 10, usually asleep by 10.30/10.45. I'm up at 6.30 and don't sleep through the night so if I go to sleep any later than that I'm shattered all day.

CarryonCovid · 03/05/2022 06:29

I sleep best by getting in to bed about 9pm asleep by 9:30 then wake naturally about 5-5:30 am, feel really rested and alert. I have always been a bit of a lark and have never likwd staying up past midnight although I used to be better at it. I can't lie in easily.

DelilahBucket · 03/05/2022 06:34

I go up about 10-11pm, lights out at around 11:30-11-45pm. Awake at 6:15am, guaranteed, for some unknown reason. My sleeping patterns are completely messed up as I live with a snorer so I wake constantly even though we are now in separate rooms. I could hear him snoring through the floor last night. I'm super sensitive to noise. I never used to be and it really annoys me because I never get more than 6 hours of broken sleep while he slumbers peacefully every night and lies in until 8-9am every weekend. I'm permanently exhausted.

Sniffypete · 03/05/2022 06:40

Usually when I'm working it's about midnight. I then seem to wake as soon as it's light (I really need a blackout blind!) but alarm is set for 7.30, I'm nearly always awake for this.
If I'm off of work then it's about 2-3am and I wake up about 8.30/9am.

ZillyZel · 03/05/2022 06:43

Between 8.30pm and 9.00pm, but my alarm is 4.15am for a 5am start at work.

10pm would be very late for me!

MintJulia · 03/05/2022 06:44

9.30 or 10 but I get up at 6. And I don't have a partner, so no-one to tell me it's not normal.

Midnightish at the weekends.

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 03/05/2022 06:52

@SonicWomb Yes I've always struggled to get to sleep. I used to go to bed about midnight and couldn't sleep for hours but now it's between 1 and 2 I fall asleep much easier.
No I don't nap (I wouldn't be able to even if I wanted to).

We have a 3mth old who is very unsettled at night so getting to sleep by 2am is getting more and more difficult as that's when he wants a feed.
I know it's affecting my health as I'm getting more and more overweight, my memory is getting worse and my temper is ridiculously short. I also have regular pain from a slipped disc and sciatica plus regular migraines too and all these stop me sleeping.

There always seems so much to do before bed as I can't get much done with a toddler and a baby. One of them is always screaming at me and the toddler won't spend more than a minute alone.

I think there's been several issues over the years - ex husband had a medical issue so I was always listening out for his breathing changing, meaning I have incredibly light sleep. I've always started work very early plus have a long commute so that means pre 5am starts. I had the world's worst neighbour until a year ago so was regularly kept awake all night with pounding dance music. Now there's two small kids to contend with and to be honest I feel past it. I'm pushing 40 but feel twice that age.