Why are people on here so pressed about the existence of SAHMs?

[DaffodilsandCoffee]

It’s fair enough to point out the existence of certain downsides are risks, but there seems to be so much spite and resentment on here. Why are some posters do angry at the existence of women who prefer to do all the childcare themselves rather than outsource some of it? Also, are they equally as angry at SAHDs? (I know it’s not as common but I personally know 3)

@AccessibleVoid
Ah c'mon.

No need to fall back on made up stuff.

If you dont have a counter point thats OK.

@AccessibleVoid

As if people should think it was worthwhile to sacrifice their own lives for your abstract ideals.

Like you do by thinking paid work is for mugs eh?

I never said they didn't. But you have to admit the reason people are expected to work themselves to the bone and the reason work is so fetishised under capitalism is because there are people who are benefitting from all this labour and they don't want anything to encourage people to imagine that there are any alternative ways of life.

Paid work is a mugs game.

Except for when its men doing it so their Mrs doesn't have to work the mugs game of course.

Easy to chat about mugs when someone else paying the bills

I am not telling anyone to stop working. I think when you have the opportunity (many people of course do not have the option) not to sacrifice yourself for someone else's dreams that you're a mug to sacrifice yourself anyway - but it's no skin off my back if you make that choice. In many ways I benefit from it (cheaper products, dividends on stocks I own etc).

No it's still a mug's game then, but they make that choice for themselves. What am I my brother's keeper? If he wants to sacrifice himself that's his choice.

@AccessibleVoid

Sometimes sure

Some folk voluntarily embrace capitalism though.

Gotta keep her indoors in the standard she's accustomed to.

Need to pay the cleaner and gardener. The nanny. The private school and health insurance

Etc.

@AccessibleVoid

I'm not telling anyone to work.

I'm just discussing the pitfalls of women in particular not working and of men not doing childcare.

But doing paid work when you don’t need to for your/your family’s happiness, stability or personal satisfaction is a mug’s game. Like was said before - if they won the lottery, many people would give up their current job and either be unemployed or do something else.

Some people love their job (and consider it an important societal function) and would continue regardless but I suspect they are in the minority. But good for them.

Yes there's textbook 'ideals' and then there reality. Children are a reality and few people can know how they will feel until they come along. Rather than asking why we didn't get a nanny in or whatever for my kids, try and reframe that question as 'why would we?'' Why on earth would we want some other woman in the house and have the hassle of all that - not to mention the cost - when I don't have to and, more to the point, I don't want to? What would be the actual point and how would it benefit anyone (unless we needed the money , in which case the question wouldn't arise).

Well I'll put it this way, you think it's bad for society if women choose not to work (not sure what you think about men choosing not to work). I think it's good for me mostly when people choose to work, and bad for me mostly to work except sporadically as and when I feel like it. If it was necessary for me, of course I would be forced to, but it's not. I don't care how it effects society because I'm not going to make myself less happy just for a principle and I am going to aggressively preserve the privileges I currently enjoy because to relinquish them would be a loss to me. I don't exist to uphold social norms or be an example to others or be a "good girl" who studies hard and gets a nice professional job and accolades like I am supposed to. I exist for my own enjoyment and satisfaction.

"I'm just discussing the pitfalls of women in particular not working and of men not doing childcare."

So Topgub -

man goes to work = not doing childcare

woman goes to work = how dare you suggest she's doing any less childcare than if she was home!

Do you think husbands who happen to have SAHWs lock themselves in a soundproof room when they enter the home?

I exist for my own enjoyment and satisfaction.

I like you.

Topgub - are you a man, by any chance. A particular type of man who hates women?

@AccessibleVoid

Good for you.

What was your point in relation to mine?

Dont you think its a tad cheeky to call the people who work so you can be oh so individual mugs?

"Gotta keep her indoors in the standard she's accustomed to.

Need to pay the cleaner and gardener. The nanny. The private school and health insurance "

I think you've given yourself away here.

They're free to make the same choices 🙂

This thread has definitely descended to the point where posters from both sides look pretty awful.

Shame really. Was quite interesting before that.

@AccessibleVoid

How would society function everyone made the same free choice as you?

How wouldyour life look of your oh made the same choice?

If your kids teachers, doctors did?

No more police? Lawyers?

No more prison guards. No more midwives or nurses?

@mijas

I haven't said all wm do exactly the same as all sahm.

Given myself away as what?

They don't. People have different desires, different priorities, different circumstances. Isn't it great!

Given yourself away as being a man - with issues.

@AccessibleVoid

I thought everyone was free to make the same choice as you?

If working (paid, natch) is for mugs and capitalist sharks surely you'd want as few people as possible making the same free choice as you?

@mijas

Pointing out the hypocrisy of calling people who work for money while you live off that money outs me as a man with issues?!

🤣🤣

I really need to see your working on that one.

As many, not as few