It’s not my job to be fascinated by your child

[Worryinglyworried73]

My friend is pissed off with me because I am not enthralled & fascinated by her baby. Before she had the baby she never showed the slightest interest in my 2 kids, never remembered birthdays or Xmas, never asked about them etc. I have never been one to talk incessantly about my kids as I recognise that they are really only very interesting to me.

The friend’s partner deleted me on Facebook because I wasn’t liking enough pictures of their child & she has been constantly dropping hints about being fed up with ‘friends who aren’t interested’ in talking about her child.

The bottom line is that I am not interested- she’s got an NCT group to talk nappies and stuff with- I didn’t expect her to listen to me talking about my kids and actually I didn’t really go on and on about feeding and sleeping etc anyway as it’s dull.

Having a baby has turned her into an utter bore frankly and I just feel like telling her to jog on with her guilt trips and snide comments.

aibu?

That is annoying what's even more annoying is these people who set up pages showing they're child's progress. I have disabled kids myself but just find it a bit patronising tbh.

If she's that worried about likes, maybe she needs to be offline more and be more into her real life.

Just tell her you're getting bored with sm and trying to cut back.

Perhaps pm with a 'you ok, hun?' then post a cryptic message about how worried you are about people whom you think are struggling with parenthood and children with unsupportive partners and using social media to put on a brave face with a suitable hashtag? like 'it's ok to not be ok'

Harsh but true.

She will learn that most people beyond close family don't care that much about her child. This obsession with posting photos of children online is tedious and not fair on the child. They have no say on their digital footprint.

Fade her out.

People so tedious are just not worth the effort.

This is who she is now, a bore.

It won't improve. So just quietly fade her out.

I agree with the poster above who said that this continues into adulthood of children for some parents. I have listened for hours to my male colleague going on at length for hours about his children and their school choice, exam results, university choices. He never ever asks about my 2 kids. What a pompous fucking bore!

Your friend needs to grow up and stop being so self centered....

I think you are unreasonable. It’s probably her first child and if you here a true friend you would at least ask about the baby every once in a while . This comes across as bitterness . She didn’t do it for you so you think she doesn’t deserve attention now . Although as a mum you know all to well how overwhelmed she probably is .
I don’t know her perspective so I can judge your side and you don’t come across as a great friend .

Just tell her! 'Friend, did you write that passive-aggressive message on FB about me? Have you forgotten that when I had my Dc you weren't at all interested in them? Hmm? If you have a problem, talk to me. Don't post about me on FB'

She sounds like a PITA!

I would like a T- shirt with the following blazened across the front
i don’t want to hear about your kids
Or your grandchildren
or see your holiday photos
or view your house improvements
shut up, go away
🤣🤣🤣

Love this

She’s probably so enthralled with her child that she doesn’t realise she’s become a talking nappie nag; if it continues I’d have a polite chat with her & say she your really happy she’s taken to motherhood so well but quite frankly it’s boring you shitless & you miss the pre-baby her, the one who had so much to chat about, who was funny & had so many topics of conversation, hopefully she will get the message if she doesn’t kick her to the kerb & move on

This, a million times over, so much trouble is caused by FB and the like. When I had our first baby, 40+ years ago a few snaps were sent of the grandparents, that was it! The advances in technology are not always a good thing.

I just don't think this sounds very kind. Would it really hurt to show genuine interest in your friend's new baby? Sounds like she is hurt that you are so apathetic and I wouldn't blame her. I'm sure there's more to the Facebook thing, they obviously sense your lack of interest and would have expected more kindness from their friends

How nasty

I’m afraid I’d have to laugh in her face, point out that she’s become a total baby bore and if she’s genuinely throwing a friendship away because someone isn’t showing enough interest in her baby, then she’s bananas. I’d also point out that in a few years she’s going to be absolutely mortified by her own behaviour. Then I’d leave her to it.

Nah. She’s just a classic baby bore with her own head firmly up her own rectum. She didn’t give a fig about the OP’s kids and frankly, she needs to learn that other people’s children are at best, uninteresting.

@Worryinglyworried73 oh god I completely sympathise as I have a couple of friends that are complete baby bores infact they are child bores as there dc are now a bit older and between the ages of 3 & 10. Oh my god they seem to find it impossible to speak about anything else other than their dc, I have to endure all manor or boring shit such as what their dc favourite food is to their bath and bedtime routines and I get shown every photo of every rash they ever have it is so goddamn tedious and bores me to tears, I do try and change the subject but everything always leads back to their dc. I have dc myself but much prefer to speak about other things as I love to have a break from being a mum all the time. Give me adult conversation any day about anything other than kids. I'm not a FB user so don't have to endure that but I know their FB is all about their dc as they tell me or sometimes show me from their phones what they've posted as well as the rash pics which no doubt get posted all over social media too. I know it's all amazing and fascinating to them but why do they think others are interested. Like you I know nobody else other than very close family are going to be interested in my dc. no advice really other than unfollow them on any SM you are on so you don't have to see it. Or if you are meeting up try and do it without dc and just say we're all having a dc free time so strictly no baby talk please as you all need and deserve a little break from motherhood for an hour or two.

YANBU.
I dislike kids. A lot. I had my own and loved them, loved the experience. But I'm not interested in other people's and also didn't expect other people to be interested in mine, I also don't post pics of them on the internet. No one needs to know their every movement.

Women are bizarre. OP friend is strange but so is OP - just tell her and if it persists, drop the friendship.

You are not being unreasonable. I dread baby bores. Got two at work, I have to try to avoid them or quickly start a conversation/make an excuse before they can get onto the subject.

Doesn’t sound like you actually like your ‘friend’ you are both being petty towards each other

Winterflower84 Are you me? ;-)