It’s not my job to be fascinated by your child

[Worryinglyworried73]

My friend is pissed off with me because I am not enthralled & fascinated by her baby. Before she had the baby she never showed the slightest interest in my 2 kids, never remembered birthdays or Xmas, never asked about them etc. I have never been one to talk incessantly about my kids as I recognise that they are really only very interesting to me.

The friend’s partner deleted me on Facebook because I wasn’t liking enough pictures of their child & she has been constantly dropping hints about being fed up with ‘friends who aren’t interested’ in talking about her child.

The bottom line is that I am not interested- she’s got an NCT group to talk nappies and stuff with- I didn’t expect her to listen to me talking about my kids and actually I didn’t really go on and on about feeding and sleeping etc anyway as it’s dull.

Having a baby has turned her into an utter bore frankly and I just feel like telling her to jog on with her guilt trips and snide comments.

aibu?

you seem mean spirited op

Why are people so horrible to each other? How hard is it to like a photo? Just pretend you are interested. How horrible to be so very opposed to any interest.

Aw dang you just stole my business idea!

Who's got the time to like EVERY photo 🤷‍♀️

This.

My kids are now teens and while I miss them being small I have no interest in reliving the soft play days with other people’s kids. But it’s a two-way street. I will happily feign interest for those who were supportive when I was a young mum, but have no inclination to do so for those that didn’t bother. I think that’s pretty fair tbh.

MrsLargeEmbodied · you seem mean spirited op

Notdoingthis · Why are people so horrible to each other? How hard is it to like a photo? Just pretend you are interested. How horrible to be so very opposed to any interest.

The friend and her DH have just found this thread.

Bollocks she does.

@Hardbackwriter perfectly articulated.

She really doesn't. This is on the friend and her unreasonable expectations.

Can't stand people like your friend. I have 2 children and the only time I talk about them is when I'm asked, and even then, keeping it really short.
I stopped going to baby/mum groups as soon as I realised the only conversation to expect there was about feeding/sleeping/nappies. As soon as you start an adult talk like work/politics/what's happening in the world, the conversation freezes, no one is interested.

Mean-spirited?! 😂

No, not really. If she made a point of never liking or commenting to "show her", yes, that would be odd, but it doesn't sound like that's what's happening.

Meanwhile her friend is so obsessed with her friends' level of fascination that she's actually making comments about being fed up with people who aren't interested (enough) in talking about her amazing baby.

Yanbu. Bloody hell, who on earth tracks FB likes? I can go days without looking at FB, so presumably miss lots of photos. I also never look at who has reacted to the vanishing small amount of content I ever post.

As long as you ask after her kid when you meet, it’s all good. I think never saying ‘Hope X is doing well’ or similar is basic politeness. My friends always ask after my family (kid/parents etc) and I do the same. The answers are generally brief though.

I'd ask why you're supposed to be obsessed with her amazing child when she doesn't give a shit about yours.

She needs to grow up! Not everything is about her. Honestly, I had a friend who took off with me (out of the blue) because I didn't like her pictures. What?! She then unfriended me on fb and I didn't even notice until she texted me to tell me that she unfriended me.

The way you feel/are behaving does seem to be coming from a place of bitterness and hurt, but it IS understandable. So YANBU

The OP didn't say she was hurt, she's just stating a fact..

I’d not let this fester - be straight up with her, and tell her exactly what you’ve told us.

It’s not hard to like a photo. But it’s exhausting to feel like you HAVE to like every single photo or make some other public display of interest, because the alternative is your supposedly adult friend throwing a tantrum. I would have thought it was pretty exhausting to be constantly monitoring who has and hasn’t liked every individual photo too.

You sound pathetic and spiteful.

It's beyond tedious and quite egocentric of them. Yanbu

I once attended a baby group where the topic for 3 hours was who's dc wore which show size. And the variables of shop to shop size difference..
Once.
Yanbu to rethink your friends..

Fantastic that the husband deleted you. Job done. Ignore them.

Pot kettle black 😂

Wow they have achieved level 82 of the PFB batshittery game.

Next time she "hints about being fed up with ‘friends who aren’t interested’ in talking about her child", I'd be blandly responding that I'm as interested in her child as she was in mine. It will probably go over her head.