It’s not my job to be fascinated by your child

[Worryinglyworried73]

My friend is pissed off with me because I am not enthralled & fascinated by her baby. Before she had the baby she never showed the slightest interest in my 2 kids, never remembered birthdays or Xmas, never asked about them etc. I have never been one to talk incessantly about my kids as I recognise that they are really only very interesting to me.

The friend’s partner deleted me on Facebook because I wasn’t liking enough pictures of their child & she has been constantly dropping hints about being fed up with ‘friends who aren’t interested’ in talking about her child.

The bottom line is that I am not interested- she’s got an NCT group to talk nappies and stuff with- I didn’t expect her to listen to me talking about my kids and actually I didn’t really go on and on about feeding and sleeping etc anyway as it’s dull.

Having a baby has turned her into an utter bore frankly and I just feel like telling her to jog on with her guilt trips and snide comments.

aibu?

It doesn't sound like she's asking you to be fascinated - just interested. And it's completely different talking to a friend who doesn't have children (the dynamic when you had DCs and she didn't) and talking to a friend when you both have DCs. It sounds like you're huffy that she wasn't more interested in your DCs so have decided to be deliberately disinterested in her's - it's a very transactional approach to relationships.
If her DP really deleted you for not liking enough photos, then that's bizarre. If they deleted you for feeling you were an unsupportive friend - that's different.

Correct! It is not your job to be fascinated by your friends' child.

You obviously can’t stand the woman so yes, tell her to jog on/block her/ghost her/tell her that her kid’s boring/her partner’s a twat/she’s a tedious hypocrite……

How so? OP doesn't, just frustrated

Did he husband say he unfriended you because you didn’t like the photos, or are you just assuming?

Doesn’t appear to be much love in this friendship on either side, so just walk away.

I too am not fascinated by OPC’s (other people’s children!). I adore my own though 😁
I do, however, think you come across as a bit mean. Are you enjoying a bit of payback for your friend not taking much notice of your kids previously ? I think you are.
Liking a FB photo is hardly taxing. You’re surely doing it to make a point/cause upset?

Re the unfriending- I know because she told me they were culling people who weren’t showing suitable levels of engagement on Facebook. I

pressed send too fast- I am not even joking. They cull anyone that doesn’t ‘engage’ with them to the required level. Completely bonkers.

And when the baby was born, they were literally posting every shit on Facebook so I hid them as couldn’t cope with 20 pics a day. Hence the lack of required engagement & eventual cull

@Cherrysherbet and no, I am just not that arsed. I am busy with my own life, 2 kids, full time job to be trying to keep up with liking every Facebook pic on someone’s page. It’s the assumption that I should be fascinated by their child.

I'm not sure what you are getting out of this 'friendship' OP ?

Maybe it's time to distance yourself?

PFB issues 😂

Yanbu. They both sound totally self absorbed and obsessed with social media. I couldn't see myself being friends with someone like that

Think of it as a lucky escape!

Exa t same thought!!

Quite a few precious mums on this thread too ( unless they’re your mate and her nutty husband). Agree totally with you OP that first time mums can be tedious and self-obsessed. Perhaps they’ll realise how ridiculous they are being when the sacred child grows up a bit. If they don’t then it’s no loss to you if they do cut you out.

I’ve voted YANBU

However — am I the only person to find the use count of the word ‘fascinated’ on this thread to be entirely objectionable?!

…I’ll get my coat

Why is it different for mums who have kids? My two are both teenagers and I have little recollection of those days and no interest in discussing the minutiae of sleep patterns, breast feeding or bowel movements of a baby. That’s why mums need a group of friends who kids are at the same stage so they can bore each other with the excruciating chat.

The friend’s partner deleted me on Facebook because I wasn’t liking enough pictures of their child

Anyone who measures their life by the no.s of likes they get is pathetic and in desperate need of a hobby

Yanbu. What a tedious self-centred pair.

Does the cull only extend to the favour of facebook/meta removal or will the cull affect real life, hopefully just the ending of the friendship and not extending to lethality?

Layers of unreasonableness on top of layers by your friend -
To have done less than the bare minimum for your DC then to expect concerted engagement without reciprocity and finally for her DP to engage and amplify this rather than not caring about the unreality of social media is astonishing.

Unless this one-sided friendship is especially valued then let them do you the favour.

Good luck with untroubled time with your DC.

I don’t care Jonny got a star for his dinosaur drawing .. i don’t ask about friends kids. I don’t hit the like button in fbk when they put 127 pics of a day at legolamd on fbk and it’s because I don’t care

I'd definitely buy that one!

It’s mad her partner deleted you on Facebook for that reason but this all sounds a bit tit for tat.

If your friend is dropping hints on FB, I'd be tempted to message back '💐💐It was the same with my two, love. Guess people just have a lot going on and at different stages of life. Enjoy your beautiful baby.'

facebook is more trouble than it is worth