Part 2 -AIBU to wonder why so many people assume Johnny Depp is the good guy and Amber Heard is the villain

[StormzyinaTCup]

Just thought I would start a follow on thread for anyone interested in the trial. I have kept it in AIBU so that it is easier for previous posters from Part 1 to find.
We are halfway through and have heard JD's testimony so next week we will hear from AH.

metro.co.uk/2022/04/30/johnny-depp-fan-brings-adorable-emotional-support-alpacas-to-trial-16564934/

why would you do this? I’m cringing for her.

I think it’s interesting how the tapes are ‘heard’ because when I listen to it I hear sarcasm - like she doesn’t believe he is being abused and is being sarcastic. But obviously she’s wrong.

The body language is interesting too. JD looks like he has a better relationship with his legal team than AH, whose lawyer sits with her back to her. There doesn't seem to be much warmth there.

When I hear the tapes, I hear a completely toxic relationship that neither side can take any moral high ground. I didn’t hear sarcasm from Amber, I hear deflection, but I also know that will be influenced by own bias as I had similar words spoken to me by my mother when she was violent

It will be stacked against her because she's not been on the stand yet.
I suspect it will balance out more next week.
So far I'm hearing about how incredibly generous JD was. How many people living totally rent free In ecb?
He said for amber's friend to his "team" set her up food, cheese and wine you know the drill"
He was respectful and good to her parents and sister etc.
He seems generous to me ?

But he's a massive addict.
And I imagine totally stuck in his ways.
The key for me is his daughter. She was so upset by him on the island she had to be taken away immediately.
That's a build up or seeing him like this and worry and deep upset.
He says he had a five hour call with VP about it and About lily rosé.
He needs to wake up.

The whole internet is making fun of her lawyers because they as joke. I swear they forget who they are representing sometimes.

Now that's a fan!
A 'support' Alpaca😁

Deffo agree with the post.

What he said about her dead body was absolutely vile - clearly he isn't all there /isn't right tbh.

I know! Imagine turning up with the poor things to catch a glimpse and hope he notices you! Couldn’t miss her to be fair 😂

I think it's understandable why AH is coming across in significantly less good light but I still think what I did when this all first came to light, and I say the following as a massive JD fan... Sometimes people, especially damaged people, are fundamentally trying to be good people but just SUCK as a couple. Whatever the ins and outs they are both clearly very histrionic and emotionally unstable personality types. Unfortunately the public interest has done nothing but poor fuel on these personality traits and make them a disgusting media circus. They should both just have walked away with their dignity and careers intact when it was clear that the relationship was toxic and never looked back. Unfortunately they've chosen this instead. It's sad really. There should be no winners or loosers 'teams' in this. There should only be 2 grown ass adults accepting they're no good for each other and moving on

@Ahurricaneofjacarandas I kind of agree but then again "they" haven't chosen this, Johnny has. I know, in response to her article - but he didn't have to drag it out over two court cases and he actively chose to have this one televised. Couple that with the email saying she is "begging for total global humiliation" and it does fit the profile of someone using the legal system to continue their abuse.

I've been thinking about this and I don't believe there's a valid 'middle way' interpretation here where it was just a toxic relationship or it was mutually abusive. I think either she has literally spent years of their relationship preparing a fake dossier of 'evidence' of his abuse like a real life Gone Girl, or he was actually abusive over a long period of time and she was reacting to that in some of the recordings we've heard (and I agree some of what she says in those wasn't great).

trigger warning

But in the Virginia court case she has alleged multiple counts of sexual assault including once with a bottle. So clearly that's either the truth or a horrific lie, there is no grey area. And that doesn't say mutual abuse to me.

I can't honestly say I know for sure who is telling the truth here, although having read the UK court judgement I do think there is credible evidence of his abuse. I guess the next couple of weeks may give a clearer picture.

But there's no way this should ever have been televised to the world the way it has and that's what makes me feel so upset for her. He has a right to put his side forward, but doing it like this is quite sick IMO. He's suing her for money she doesn't even have in order to force her through a public ordeal, and that really isn't ok.

Aspiring yes the money part is also v true.
Maybe he should have done his own op ed on hidden violence to males?

They have a NDA the only way he can give his side is through court (or third party leaks).

Wasn't Amber Heard charged with dv against her wife?

Maybe he should have done his own op ed on hidden violence to males?

Would he have been taken seriously if he had done this given the U.K. trial verdict? I think probably not and the negative headlines it would have garnered would have been counter productive for the cause. He would be getting similar (if not worse) negative commentary that AH herself is receiving now ie. 'How can she be an abuser and an advocate against abuse at the same time'.

@Aspiringmatriarch
Amber wrote (agreed to) the op ed and sold recordings to TMZ so she also has chosen to bring this into the public eye and skirt her NDA to be best she can. She thought she could do it in a way that would paint her as the good guy and Johnny as the bad guy. He went public to balance what she went public with.

WIth regard to the allegations of sexual assault - we know that at least one of them was not true and that she took the story from someone else (a rape experienced by her personal assistant and told to Amber).
www.theguardian.com/film/2020/jul/15/amber-heard-antagoniser-rows-with-johnny-depp-court-told

mynamesnotMa

Why didn't she leave? Why didn't he.

Maybe because they are living in properties that he owns?

Hope he loses.

I doubt that he will win, but I suspect that he is doing this to show what type of person she is,

And she weren't after him for every penny she could. He paid her $14.2 million in settlement to her for a 15 month marriage. Giving in to her demands makes him look guilty but I think at the time he thought given the NDA he could just make it all go away and end by giving her whatever she wanted. I don't think it was done as an admission of guilt.

There are also some very damning pieces of evidence like the letter she wrote (via lawyers) saying I want $ and ongoing expense free use of 3 of the 5 penthouses and a specific car OR ELSE I will fie a restraining order against you.

The ECB the penthouses were in that they lived in together is not a huge building and to want to stay in 3 of them (with her sister and friend at the time) right next door to your abuser - and saying if you don't give me that I will file and say I feel unsafe is not a good look.

The major fight on May 21st. The very next night she had James Franco come and spend the night with her and although the elevator clips are brief, they show more what looks like an affair than a friend coming to support a victim.

Maybe people assume Johnny Depp is the good guy, and Amber is the bad guy, because, from what they can see/from what they have witnessed' that's the truth.

People are entitled to think what they want/have opinions that don't coincide with 'Team Amber.'

Actually, we don't know that. Her ex assistant hadn't actually read Amber's testimony about that AFAIK. Let's just wait and see.

Yes fair enough about the op ed. He could have made a statement though, I'm sure he has good lawyers to help with that. But now it's a circus. That's his choice.

No idea who leaked/sold things first so will wait and see if that information is available from a reputable source.

@Scoobydoobywho

Allegedly Amber and her wife got into an argument in the ariport. During that argument, Amber grabbed her wife's arm and was pulling her. I am not sure if the arm grabbing / pulling was like a come with me or we are going now or what the contaxt of the arm pulling was. The security guard who saw it was the one who called the police. Amber's wife never wanted charges and likely wasn't going to cooperate. They felt the security guard overreacted because they were a same sex couple and he was homophobic. No charges where filed.

This is the court recording of that case. It is very difficult to hear but her wife showed up and agreed that no charges should be filed.

@Aspiringmatriarch

Without the circus the story was that Johnny is a wifebeater who abused poor Amber. And while it is a circus, I think it does also help to shape public views that men can be victims and that a headline is not always the full story. That toxic relationships can be the fault of both parties, and that women are not always suppportive, nurturing partners.

Society has a tendency to assume men have bad intentions / motivations and that women have good intentions / motivations and that in cases where a man alleges abuse - he must have done something to deserve it and that women only act reactively when pushed past what they can cope with. These kinds of cases help to change that narrative.

Even on these threads, there are some people who resist any stats about men as victims or the mutuality of toxcity and abuse in relationships. Who don't want to see or hear the actual reports and numbers. That really doesn't help anyone and if these kinds of cases can lead to more men and women getting out of unhealthy relationships then at least it has served some kind of purpose.

Their NDA is publicly available, it’s was previously claimed the op Ed is not about Johnny Depp. Him doing his own would be against the NDA. It was why Amber Heard was legally advised of the dangers of the OP ED.

Well, I agree with that. Of course men can be victims, although women are killed in much larger numbers, so there's that. I don't think it's fair to make the assumption that the woman is always innocent if there is an accusation of abuse. But I don't think a case like this which will cause a huge backlash against female victims even if Johnny loses, is a good thing for anyone.

Whether the public perception was previously as you say 'Johnny is a wife beater' (and that this is what cost him his career) is debatable IMO because frankly it seems he lost work due to his own volatile behaviours and substance issues, and many people did see him as a victim anyway. He lost the last court case and is still seen as the victim. So I don't entirely agree that. I think televising it is pretty sadistic and all about him giving a performance and knowing she won't come across as particularly likeable.

Women are killed in larger numbers and in some ways it might be better if we didn't lump all domestic violence from emotional abuse to financial control to aggression to murder together as one entity of domestic violence as it seems to muddy the waters and bring out a sense of competition. The fact that women are murdered doesn't take away from the experience of abuse victims who aren't murdered and we don't need to negate those experiences or always need to reference murder in a discussion about abuse.

He has had volatile behaviour and addiction issues long before his marriage and yet he was in major Disney franchises being paid tens of millions per project. He clearly started to unravel during the marriage and therefore it could be that the effects of the abuse along with the op-ed peice where his undoing. There is some discussion that he received the letter from Disney removing him from the Pirates film 4 or 6 days after the op-ed came out. I do not know if that is true. There were indirect allegations of violent outbursts and physical abuse of AMber by Johnny at the time of the divorce so these were already out there before the op-ed. The op-ed seemd to take it from rumblings to published fact and that may be what made Disney take action.