Part 2 -AIBU to wonder why so many people assume Johnny Depp is the good guy and Amber Heard is the villain

[StormzyinaTCup]

Just thought I would start a follow on thread for anyone interested in the trial. I have kept it in AIBU so that it is easier for previous posters from Part 1 to find.
We are halfway through and have heard JD's testimony so next week we will hear from AH.

@Aspiringmatriarch defensive much? Anyway we are all entitled to an opinion without being spoken to in a condescending manner. If you want to have a proper discussion then great.

Anyway we are all entitled to an opinion without being spoken to in a condescending manner

Unless you’re Amber Heard that is…

AH can have an opinion.

She looks absolutely dreadful: has done since the beginning. She's clearly not enjoying this one iota and looks as though she'd rather be just about anywhere else on the planet than in that courtroom.

He, on the other hand, looks as though he's revelling in it, grinning and gesticulating at inappropriate moments, cracking 'funnies' and bending over double with laughter when his witnesses did the same. I sense he's getting a positive pleasure out of making her suffer, so much so that doesn't even care about the potential cost of this to him. That's certainly indicative of the behaviour of an abuser. Men like this simply don't let go.

As to the suits filed by both: I suspect there's a large element of truth to both of them and that the worst of what they contain is likely exaggerated to save one's reputation (too late on both counts) at the expense of the other.

I'm not about to comment on what 'emotion' of behaviour a victim (he or her) should 'rightly' exhibit - suffice it to say there's a hell of a lot of ignorance out there on that point. It's the misogynistic media's attitude that crucified Lindy Chamberlain and Joanne Lees, who were guilty of no wrongdoing whatsoever. The 'Johnny can do no wrong' brigade puzzle me as much as the 'Mel Gibson can do no wrong', persistence in the face of all evidence to the contrary stance did.

I'm ambivalent. I think both are awful, both are likely abusive, and in some ways I'm actually very sorry for them both. Addiction is a destructive, hateful, hideous disease which doesn't only corrode the addict.

I'm glad it's this jury who have to reach conclusions about this one way or the other, and not me.

He, on the other hand, looks as though he's revelling in it, grinning and gesticulating at inappropriate moments, cracking 'funnies' and bending over double with laughter when his witnesses did the same. I sense he's getting a positive pleasure out of making her suffer, so much so that doesn't even care about the potential cost of this to him.

agree with this

This thread is proof that women are going to be forever abused by men.
powerful white man = innocent victim before the case has even heard the other side.
woman who isn’t people’s idea of the perfect victim speaks out = psychopathic liar

I actually feel sick that we are still having opinions on the right or wrong way a victim should act. And from those who have been victims themselves. The latest few posts on here are horrifying. It’s one step forward and a hundred steps back.

If you are referring to me, I did not say how victims should act. She was making in evident that she was crying and I was highlighting how the other biological functions of crying are not present.

Well I hope you are going to use the same body language expertise to dissect how Johnny Depp is reacting to her claims with his grinning and smirking.

If you are referring to me, I did not say how victims should act.

I am not referring to you. I'm speaking of general commentary on the internet, the vox pop columns out there who in this and other cases largely reach erroneous conclusions on what a textbook victim should look like. There are myriad people making that same point with tedious clockwork regularity every time a case like this makes headlines. I'm not sure why you think it applies to you specifically.

Words don't half get twisted on here. Again, I said I had experience, not that I am an expert.

I think Amber has difficulty taking advice, she doesn’t really need to convince the jury of everything she needs just enough to show domestic violence, even if it’s both sides that the article was correct and his reputation caused his loss of earnings. She gave too much detail, jumped into different emotional phases every time she turned her head. The more she speaks the more likely she runs the risks of contradicts especially as they all ready have her on the donation.

Why are you only using your experience on ripping apart Amber I wonder?

I just watched the testimony of the first slap and I don't think she's putting it on. I remember the first time my ex really lost his temper at me. He was never physically violent but he would yell and rage and accuse me of all sorts of bad things and then blame me for him getting upset 'because he loved me'.

I totally recognise that sense of shock and freezing in confusion, not knowing what to do when someone you love and you believe loves you does something you never expected. I'd had arguments with boyfriends in the past but never before had someone just lose it at me for what seemed like no real reason. Your mind is spinning, trying to figure out what the hell is going on. That detail about looking at the dirty carpet really rings true to me. I remember staring down at the chair I was sitting on and noticing the way it was soldered together. It's like your brain is trying to cling onto a real-life, firm detail that will help you find your mental footing again because what's going on emotionally and psychologically is all over the place.

Amber was 26 when she started dating Johnny. She'd been in a 5-year relationship prior to that. Her ex supports her and says there wasn't actually any violence in their relationship. There was a massive power imbalance at the start of Amber and Johnny's relationship, he was twice her age and a superstar whereas she was barely known. Compared to him, she was relatively inexperienced in relationships. Sometimes the way the more experienced person behaves 'resets' the tone for a relationship.

In that first fight, I begged my ex (who was also a fair bit older than me) to stop shouting at me and that nobody had ever yelled at me like that before. That just made him angrier. He said he didn't believe me and that expressing anger was normal and healthy and I had led a weird, sheltered life. He said my parents must have been overprotective and not prepared me very well for dealing with normal relationship conflict and expressing emotions if I'd never heard them yelling at each other. The stupid thing is that at the time, it made a twisted sense. I loved him and wanted to believe that he was right. Over time, I often ended up yelling at him in fights to 'give as good as I got', but I always felt awful afterwards. I can totally believe that if Johnny introduced physical violence to the relationship, Amber adopted it as a normal pattern of behaviour. It doesn't make it right or healthy, but abusive relationships often end up with toxic dynamics. There's always a primary abuser though, and given the absolutely vile way Johnny writes about women in his messages, it seems evident to me that he has an abuser mindset.

I agree. I logged on here this evening in hope of some balance on the subject, but the posts have only upset me.

I can't use anyone else's experience on body language because I don't have their brain.

Actually, my mistake, she was 24.

Thank you for sharing that @CheekyHobson. I can relate to a lot of what you say.

I think there is balance on here but to see balance you have to see a perspective other than your own.

Experience in all the different ways people cry??! Is this a thing?
You haven’t explained why your experience is only being used against Amber while Johnny is sat there grinning and scoffing while she’s making these claims and you have yet to give an opinion on this.

Sorry but I’m sick to death of the blind siding with him and the absolute determination to discredit her with absolute pathetic “evidence” such as she doesn’t cry in the way you would like her to.
Its not just you it’s the whole fucking world.

The huge bias in commentary on the MSM is overwhelming. There is minimal balance, and where it is, the people trying to draw it are being castigated by #TeamDepp.

What makes them so certain? What more evidence would need to come out of his own mouth/phone keypad to convince them of the hideous things he's capable of saying and doing: even when it's he himself who's said and done those things?

It was exactly the same with Mel Gibson: irrefutable evidence of terrifyingly threatening and abusive behaviour and even then it was 'ahhh, but it must have been somehow her fault'.

It really does seem as though beloved male Hollywood actors are untouchable, even when Hollywood itself decides to retreat to a safe distance because they are toxic to their brand.

Something's certainly rotten somewhere. The fact that she's condemned before she even utters a word says a lot about what the outlook for women currently looks like. And #MenToo looks curiously like whataboutery to me.

@MrsH1983 when in doubt get pedantic 👏

Not everyone is going to agree with you and you can't expect them to. I am entitled to think she is lying and based on my own perceptions, I think she is. You think she is telling the truth and that's fine.

Not really, I just can't be bothered. I enjoy discussions on the case and legal arguments, not mudslinging insults so I will leave it there.

I am trying to have a balanced view and that’s leading me to believe her.
If you have experience fine, analyse body language but like I said it interesting you are concerned about the lack of a chin quiver from the female when the male is sat there smirking and grinning during some disturbing claims and you are choosing to not give an opinion on this.
Its pretty much how this whole public opinion on this case has been. Nitpick at her and excuse or ignore everything from him.

I gave my opinion earlier in the thread and posted a link where 4 body language experts analysed JD and why he smirks and laughs.