To think men can be faithful?

[VeryGoodVeryNice]

I’ve always believed that men are just as capable as women to be loyal, and to my knowledge I’ve never been cheated on, but a conversation with a male friend has left me wondering.

He said that men are basically incapable of saying no to a woman offering them sex, and that this is driven by a primitive urge to spread their seed far and wide, so it’s partly out of their control. He said that one reason for this is that the situation is different for men; they very rarely get sex offered to them on a plate, in the same way that women do, so when that situation does occur it’s pretty much impossible to turn it down.

In a way I can see where he’s coming from there, as a female I have rejected the vast majority of offers of sex that I’ve had, and I think most women would have had similar experiences. But men don’t tend to walk into a pub and get hit on in the same way.

So I said ok, what about if you’re with someone you really love, and then someone else offers you sex? Without hesitation he said that made no difference - that it could be a friend of the woman he loves and he’d still shag her if she offered it to him. Even if he knew it would mean losing the person he loved, he still wouldn’t be able to overcome the primitive urge.

I told him he’s talking bollocks and of course men are capable of controlling themselves. But he was absolutely adamant that he is correct, and that all of his male friends are the same way, although obviously they would never admit this to their wives/girlfriends.

So AIBU to still think (hope?) he’s talking shit? Or is it really harder for men to be faithful?

Your friends a twat, of course men can be faithful, they have just as much ability as women do to say 'No thanks' if propositioned.

I'm guessing he has fairly low expectations of himself behaviour wise in general.

Of course he's talking shit. 😂

What a load of rubbish.

Yea he is talking a load of chauvinist pig shit to justify being a fuck boy.

Sounds like he’s been honing his excuses for many years, for the women in his life! He probably believes it, because “men can’t control their animal urges so it’s not our fault” is probably easier for him rationalise than “I’m a bit of an arse who can’t be faithful”. In the first case he’s blameless. In the second, he isn’t.

He sounds like a twat

He can only speak only for himself, not all men!

I think most people are capable of being faithful although I do agree being offered no strings attached sex with someone you are very attracted too is far more tempting than normal offers. Of course not many people get this opportunity anyway. I've never been propositioned for casual sex by someone I liked, Tom Hardy has not approached me for some reason!

Yep you’re all repeating exactly what I told him. He is a fuckboy, now you mention it, although that may come as no surprise.

Any woman? Or a woman they find attractive? I find it hard to believe men can't turn any offers down at all but if it's someone attractive I think anyone (m/f) would find that harder.

Maybe men are more likely to be arrogant enough that they think they'll get away with it and not get caught!

I think he's talking bollocks (no pun intended). I think it's convenient for him to believe that cheating is totally out of his control.

I mean, we could all make up some shite about how it is imperative that we align ourselves with the strongest male that appears on the horizon. The urge to survive and ensure the healthiest offspring overrides our commitment to our partner...

Men are no more likely to cheat - or be loyal or disloyal - than women are, generally speaking.

Most men never get the opportunity to cheat anyway though as they'd never be asked.

Of course they can just as some women are faithful and others ain't.

I have been cheated on in the past, he probably believed all men follow his standards, thankfully they do not.

Did he end his pile of bullshit with “so d’ya fancy a shag then?”
I pity the poor woman that ends up with him.

No, it's much easier for men to be faithful. As your friend points out, their chances to be otherwise are few and far between, and vanishingly rare without effort on their part.
All a man really needs to do is stay in his lane and he'll be fine.

Even if he knew it would mean losing the person he loved, he still wouldn’t be able to overcome the primitive urge.

He sounds like a treat.

On a more serious note, suggesting that men are incapable of overcoming a primitive urge is veering towards the "well what did she expect, dressed like that" rape excuses that men just can't help themselves and women should cover up and behave accordingly so as not to arouse them.

Of course men are capable of being faithful, but I imagine certain men are very invested in making people believe that all men cheat and it's not their fault, the poor little darlings.

@trilbydoll he said there had to be enough attraction there to be able to get it up, but no real burning desire necessary.

Of course he's talking utter shite.

I offer my husband sex on a plate on regular basis, so he's easily capable of passing up an opportunity elsewhere😁

@Honeyroar haha no thankfully I have a partner and even if I didn’t it would still be a firm no from me.

Luckily for womankind he is single.

Do you feel you speak for all women ever? If not then why do you think he speaks for every man?

He's talking rubbish, has he a partner. Sounds like he's testing the water the dirty cheat.

Going againts the grain here, but yeah, most men would cheat if they had the opportunity.
Even more so if not getting caught were guarenteed.

He's an idiot - and clearly thinks he has an excuse for being unfaithful.

@5128gap that’s an excellent point!

What a twat.

I had the sense to marry an evolved man with a fully formed brain.