Would you hire a male babysitter?

[georgarina]

Why/why not?

I don't think I'll ever use a babysitter of either sex as I don't trust people..depressing? Yes but more depressing to take the risk and find I got it wrong putting my trust in someone. My parents trusted and they got it wrong, and yes male with female turning a blind eye.
But if I were desperate and needed one in an emergency then it would be female only 100% as the facts are they are the safer sex statistically and anecdotally I've found the same.

Mother of a son here. I'd be fine with people not wanting him to babysit as I understand that people want to protect their kids and they don't know my son from Adam. There are plenty of other part time jobs he can do.

I wouldn't hire a stranger full stop.
So, assuming I knew and trusted the babysitter I wouldn't care what sex they were and my 9 year old ds would probably love a male babysitter.

An excellent point. In terms of minimising statistical risk, a male DBS-checked stranger is safer than your brother I suppose. Somewhat scarily.

Not really. If strangers had the same access to children, then those statistics would be different. Also, a DBS-check doesn't mean someone isn't a paedophile. It just means the person hasn't been caught and prosecuted.

I have. Any older teen, brother of one of my DC. In fact he was much better with my DC than the female older teen that use to sometimes babysit.

Nope!
I actually had a difficult women tell me off for this recently. I asked on local Facebook group if any local teen girls babysit. I didn't get a babysitter as I gave up.
Safeguarding sadly places males at a greater risk.
I will not place my daughter at risk.
I used to babysit myself. it was easy money doing homework in someone else's house

No

This is such a depressing thread!! Surely it's more important to know and have a connection with the babysitter. Their sex shouldn't come into the equation.

Can you imagine someone asking if a woman should be hired to do valet parking and the answer being "no women are shit drivers and can't be trusted not to crash a Porsche"??! It's just as ridiculous to exclude a man from babysitting purely on the basis of sex.

I wouldn't use any babysitter I didn't know - through an agency for example.

But using male or female ones known to me I wouldn't choose preference over sex - I'd choose it over whom I thought was best for the job.

Last school year I had a male after school nanny for my two boys age 5 and 8. Didn't even cross my mind of any issues. He was a teaching assistant at another school and provided me DBS check, ID etc. My boys loved him and I now use him for tutoring.

Sorry but isn't it family members and people who are close to you that end up being the abusive ones?

I wouldn't hire a male... but I have a lady as I was in desperate need at the time I had my worries but she was great! Because its your home or theirs I guess it seems a lot more personal than a nursery setting..

What's ridiculous is the fact that you'd even make that comparison. We're talking about potential abuse of a child, not a bloody Porsche.

Tbh I don’t even leave my kids with family as I don’t have any family help so it’s irrelevant really but no I wouldn’t hire a babysitter male or female as I wouldn’t leave my kids with someone I didn’t know, not just about abuse risks but they wouldn’t like it either so it’s a no from me and I agree with pp that the reason why someone known to you is more likely to abuse is because strangers don’t usually have access to people’s kids I’m sure If they did that would change very quickly. But no I don’t leave my kids with random babysitters, I’m not comfortable with it and if my kids can’t go then I don’t go. I don’t want a stranger in my house or looking after my kids, I don’t need to go anywhere that bad, would rather stay in.

Can you imagine someone asking if a woman should be hired to do valet parking and the answer being "no women are shit drivers and can't be trusted not to crash a Porsche"??! It's just as ridiculous to exclude a man from babysitting purely on the basis of sex

Yeah, coz lady drivers is the equivalent of men committing the vast majority of sex offences.
Honestly, what a ridiculous comparison.

Can you imagine someone asking if a woman should be hired to do valet parking and the answer being "no women are shit drivers and can't be trusted not to crash a Porsche"??! It's just as ridiculous to exclude a man from babysitting purely on the basis of sex.

What's ridiculous is the fact that you'd even make that comparison. We're talking about potential abuse of a child, not a bloody Porsche.

To be fair I would think twice about letting an unknown lady driver ferry my kids around. I'd have more confidence in a man.

I wouldn't use strangers, so yes.

The risk analysis is hard. The consequences are HIGH but the actual risk is low. Every second man isn't actually a paedophile

My dad- yes, my fil- yes; my bil- yes, my Ohs best mate- yes…. Random man no but equally random woman no

Not sure why when male drivers are more likely to be involved in serious accidents

There's always a risk with babysitters, but does no one remember Vanessa George? She worked in a nursery and was DBS checked but still went on to abuse.

And what about teenage girls who use it as an excuse to have their friends round when the parents are out? I understand that it's down to the parents to do due diligence, but I think it's very short sighted to dismiss male childcare.

And then we expect men to be excellent fathers when they haven't been given the chance to experience the reality of childcare.

The men abusing children in their care, are presumably the ones that people judged as safe. After all, no one would leave their child with someone they thought would hurt them.

With the the exception of their dad, I would rather leave my children with a woman, the sex that isn’t responsible for the majority of this sort of crime.

Nope. Nothing personal, just would never leave my small children with a male stranger.

Both my older two babysat every weekend a few years ago - we're expats, & at the time were living in a compound full of young families.

Ds was nearly always snapped up first, & could've been booked 3 times over every weekend evening. He got very good at prioritising reliable payers, those good for substantial over time because they'd come home hours late & plastered, providers of pizza & a well stocked fridge, best Internet connections & cable subscriptions etc etc!

Dd1 was basically his understudy - still in demand but definitely second choice.

This was because ds is outgoing, funny & loves being the life & soul - happy to organise an hour of games & activities to wear random dc out before bed. He's currently planning a year abroad TEFLing - he's a natural with kids. Dd, OTOH, is sensible but quiet & shy. All our neighbours' dc clamoured to have ds babysit because he was such fun.

Had my ds been inclined to abuse the dc he babysat, he would have been in a perfect situation to do so by age 14 or so. Popular, known for clowning around, in demand with multiple families so any 'new' family could see that he had an established reputation...

I mean, my lad is lovely. I would trust him around any child I know, personally.

But here's the thing: I absolutely wouldn't judge any parent who didn't. He's a bloke & much more likely statistically, sadly, to be an abuser than say, his sister. & as above, IF he had happened to be that way inclined, he'd have had the perfect set up to be an extremely prolific abuser.

I don't think there's easy answers. It makes me sad that anyone would suspect my fabulous ds of nefarious intentions. But it would be entirely reasonable & proportionate to be wary of him/any other male in these circumstances, I think.

From this thread I've gauged that mothers of only boys are more likely to be ok with a male babysitter than mothers of only girls are - which does make sense.

As a teenager, my eldest son was highly in demand for babysitting. Always for the children of parents he and I knew, so not a stranger. It was usually to babysit boys, but sometimes girls too. DS was very popular because he's great with kids and happy to play with them.