To think my 2YO has won

[BoredYummyMummy]

He’s sat on his little desk and chair that he demanded with a bowl of fucking cereal that he asked for… and the book he couldn’t leave the car without.. but is still screaming/crying/tantruming…

what the hell is This torture

How do you make the noise stop?

That 'generally' boys are harder work and can be utter nightmares. I have had both and worked and also lived with lots. are you sure you're not bringing your own unconscious bias to this.

My stroppy two year old (female, for those keeping track) was inconsolable and very, very loud because I mentioned that she would take her clothes off to get into the bath.

My girls were way, way feistier at that age than the boys.

My very nearly 3 year old has told me endless times (whenever I’ve asked him to something) that he is going to put me in the bin, that I’m a silly mummy and that he does NOT want to do that, followed by epic epic tears.

Apparently the terrible twos becomes the threenage years?!😫

We have this and he now asks for "soft toast" bread or "crunchy toast" actual toast. He will not be swayed that soft toast is just bread.

Today's tantrum was because he "rubbed out of cheese" He wasn't eating cheese and offering him some made it worse. Literally no idea. There is not enough tea.

I’m enjoying this thread now - I started it in despair but hearing others’ tales of tantrums helps.

not PA MissMaple, I just wanted you to spell out exactly what you were inferring 🤓🥹 thanks for doing a great job of that

Just had a bath one too - wouldn’t get in without bucket and spade.

dig those bubbles son..

Mine cried because there weren’t any princesses in the cupboard for her to eat for breakfast… starting to worry about her,

This could turn into one of those epic 'reasons my toddler cried today..' threads 😂

2yo wanted his wellies on, whilst wearing his wellies.

This evening my just turned 2 DS threw his plate up into the air because his brother dared to also sit down at the table.

Laugh (when he can't see you) or you'll cry is definitely our mantra with this one. Far more...spirited..than our older child.

I just take her to her bedroom, close the stair gate & sit on my phone until she’s tantrummed out. Every couple of minutes I ask if she’s ready for a big cuddle. Eventually she says yes

My DD (2) had a tantrum every morning for about three weeks because she wanted her 'purple trousers'.

She did not own any purple trousers.

Eventually I caved and hunted down some purple trousers (thanks H&M). I presented them to madam the next morning.

"Noooooooooooo! Me not LIKE purple!!'

🙄

My 2 year old blew a big tantrum at bed time because the batteries had ran out of his dino projector…. Told him i’d change the batteries…. I thought I’d invited a banshee into the house!

2 minutes later- all smiles!

The worst one my DD ever had was almost a year ago and she didn’t want to leave the park (we were going home to dinner and she had said she was hungry). In the end I carried her under my arm (she was scarlet, horizontal, and screaming like one possessed). I smiled through gritted teeth at the passers by and said “such a magical age” in my best Joyce Grenfell voice, whilst praying no one had noticed that my pelvic floor had given up in the struggle and I’d wet myself. When I got back home I passed her over on the door step and went up to the bathroom, whereupon the screams redoubled because she “wants Mummy”. There was not enough gin…. Normally she’s lovely!

It’s hard, very bloody hard!!
But just try and be kind.
Its hard to remember this in the heat of the moment but are not trying to manipulate you. They can’t actually because their brain isn’t mature enough.
They are having a really hard time and just need your support.

You don’t even need to do much- just say
“I can see you’re having a really hard time. I’m here for a hug /to help you /have fun when you’re ready” Last it out then move on.

I actually hate the crying so much but I’ve reluctantly taught myself to say to them “it’s ok to cry” Yes sometimes they cry harder but it is always shorter! Because they ‘feel heard’

If you can’t cope with the screaming/noise you can be there physically but try and switch off mentally/emotionally for a little while and daydream etc. I try and detach myself by thinking about a funny time or plan something nice in my head for myself - doesn’t have to be anything big - just something nice for tea. That way I don’t react in a negative way towards them as much.

Whatever you do -don’t be purposefully cruel like throw their toys away (not suggesting you would OP!)

Heres a scenario - How would you feel if you were out for a coffee with DP/friend and you were feeling really pissed off about something and started having a big moan/cry. Suddenly your DP/friend said “I can’t deal with this and you don’t deserve this cake/meal/this present I bought you!” And threw it in the bin in front of you?

Unsupported?
Shocked?
Misunderstood?
Lonely?
Even angrier!?
Let down?
Lacking trust?

Just because they are children it doesn’t mean they should be treated in such a demeaning way.
Its not about winning or loosing its about fair and respectful boundaries.
Im a firm believer of Respect breads respect and Kindness breads kindness!

The kinder and more compassionate you are now the more likely they are going to be just like that themselves- and you will also have a brilliant relationship with them!!- especially once this ‘stage has passed’

All most children are searching for is just connection and understanding.

Remember we are all human and make mistakes - I always apologise if I make one and this also has rubbed off on my two DC!

Behaviour is always a form of communication.

You cannot teach a child to learn to communicate efficiency and appropriately if all you do is seek to gain compliance.

You just set them up for a future if struggling with emotions.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 oh my word that is absolutely hilarious 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I absolutely LOVE this.

I train adults in behaviour management.

I actually start at the beginning of the course going through a senario and asking them to I,amine if that was that morning how they would have felt (especially as going on a course), how they reacted and how they would have reacted if they didn't have social skills/ an audience!

I then leave that topic and go through bits of the course.

When we get to the bit about responses to behaviour I being it back out and reiterate that these children are only thinking and feeling like we as adult do and have. That they do t have the language or social skills yet to know how to react or be able to react appropriately and remind the adults that it's our job to teach the, the skills on how to react. Teach them the language to communicate feelings.

But most importantly do t just expect compliance on the basis they are children and should be behaving themselves because the adults demand it.

It's usually quite effective!

My nearly 3 year old had a meltdown today because she wanted more pasta sauce, but she had pasta sauce on her plate, but it turns out she wanted the pasta sauce in the saucepan, but not for eating! Oh ok then 😂 then I offered her a piece of Easter egg which she took, and then tantrummed because she wanted some of her Easter egg 🤔😂

Mine is only 18 months do her tantrums aren't really "terrible twos" level yet, but I must admit I find her strops quite funny. I ignore the crying and either get on with what I was doing if I was busy or just try to gently distract with toys etc. She always comes round in the end and comes for a cuddle.

I guess we'll see if I can retain my sense of humour about it as she enters full-on tantrum age 😁

Mine cried and wailed yesterday because I wouldn’t let her put a plastic bag over her head 🤔
I always just try to remind myself that whatever she’s feeling, feels huge to her.
It’s s hard though, I’m haggard these days!!

My 2 year old has recently learnt the phrase "I don't like ...". Insert whatever word is appropriate at the time:

I don't like shoes
I don't like weetabix
I don't like dinner
I don't like bed
I don't like pyjamas

Pretty much anything really!

I remember my dbro at the same age absolutely striken with grief and beside himself because he didn't want the "see-through cheese" 🤔

Worked out he didn't want cheese with holes in it, I.e Swiss Cheese........ which 2 hours early had been his favourite cheese 🙄

Today's biggest tantrum was because my 2 year old asked for cheese.

I offered her a slice of Cheddar. NO! CHEESE! OK fine. Offered her a Laughing Cow triangle. NOOOO! CHEEEEEEESE! She wails before flinging herself on the floor.

It is bloody cheese my love! At least I got to eat her cheesy cast offs.

@Gagaandgag fantastic response from a gentle parenting perspective.

There is a lot that can be defused by an “I can see that you’re really frustrated by that; Mama is here when you’re ready” OR my personal favourite “I can hear that you want to do/eat/destroy [insert dangerous object of choice]. The problem is that doing that could really hurt somebody/you so let’s work out a solution together”. The solution is just the thing you were originally planning to do - leave the park/take the knife off him/strap him in the car seat/whatever. Just being heard helps humans a lot.

My 22mo screamed for a good 15 mins this week when I gave him his dinner (which he actually likes) and was frantically pointing at other things on the kitchen work surface. Turns out he just wanted his dinner in a different bowl. Toddler logic!