To ask why having an elective C-Section is so frowned upon?

[Rosesandbutterflys]

I am (hopefully) having an elective C-Section soon. First baby, don't want anymore children after.

I've always had a fear of child birth, which over the past 5 years has been compounded by a lot of people around me having children and the vast majority of these (though I appreciate I'm probably unlucky here) have been pretty traumatic births that have ended in severe tears, forceps and a lot of the time, an emergency section anyway. Granted their experiences have mostly been better on their second birth/ child.

Nothing and I truly mean nothing about natural childbirth/ labour appeals to me. Not the hours of pain, pushing, potential rips/ tears, forcep intervention, epidural (yes I appreciate I'd have one of these for a section), damage of my pelvic floor and the panic and stress of potentially having to be rushed to theatre because it just wasn't going to happen naturally and the baby is in distress or whatever.

Now don't get me wrong, nothing about a c-section appeals to me either, it's absolutely no walk in the park and I'm dreading it, but it has to come out some way and I am a person that likes to plan things and to somewhat be in control/ aware of the plan. I have also had abdominal surgery before (though not as severe as a C-section) and I know recovery is likely to be painful and slower than if I were to have a natural birth. But for me, this is the preferred/ lesser of the 2 evils option.

I have also spent hours pouring over research as to the benefits of a vaginal birth over a c-section and last night came across a NICE/ NHS study/ research that found that actually, for a planned/ elective c-section, the risk to the mother of a c-section compared to a vaginal birth is pretty much the same. It states that the risk of the baby ending up in NICU with a C-section is 13.9% compared to a vaginal birth which is 6.3%, so double the risk, BUT it says the research does not take into account the fact that most c-sections undertaken are for medical reasons and therefore the likelihood of the baby needing NICU attention after it's born is increased anyway.

It then went on to say that the risks of an unplanned, emergency C-Section are a lot higher than a natural birth/ elective/ planned C-Section. So I guess if each woman was guaranteed to have a straightforward, natural birth, then great, but a lot of women do end up needing an emergency c-section so, technically they are more at risk than someone who has chosen an elective.

This now seems like I am bashing natural delivery and I'm not at all I totally admire and respect women that chose that route, I only wish I were that brave.

However, the responses I have had from people my whole pregnancy when I have admitted I am opting for an elective C-section have been ridiculous. Not one person has responded positively, all I've had is 'Oh, really? Are you sure??' and 'Oh, why on earth would you elect to have that?' etc etc. Or just a stony faced, tight smile and 'oh right' making it clear they disapprove but not actually coming out and saying it.

I got told last night that the reason I'm getting these reactions is because a C-section is 'taking the easy way out '😕

If that's the case, why on earth wouldn't you? Why is it that it seems the prerequisite to being a good mother is seemingly having to martyr yourself all the time?

So many of my friends that have had children and also the women in my NCT class who are preparing for their births have all expressed dismay/ distress at having to have any pain relief, they all want it to be as natural as possible and I know my friends that haven't had 'textbook' births still harbour 'guilt' and sadness to this day. Why? If you need gas and air or an epidural, so what? What exactly am I missing? If they ended/end up with forceps or an emergency section, it's not their fault, it's just one of those things. Surely modern medicine has provided these things to make childbirth safer?

Anyway, gone off on a tangent now but if you disapprove of someone having an elective c-section, could you tell me why?

Indeed.

As for other people disapproving, it's nothing to do with anyone else.

@notanotherbloodystreetparty Why dismiss this experience as ‘not typical’ but not dismiss the ‘perfect super easy I felt amazing’ natural birth stories on this thread? I’d argue a super easy natural birth is not a typical experience either.l yet those stories are lauded.

@BiscuitLover3678 one of the more normal and natural things are woman can do is also to die in childbirth. I think people who push the ‘oh natural is best and we are meant to do it’ ignore how much infant and maternal mortality have dropped since the advent of intervention/ non-natural births.

Having had a vaginal birth, if I chose to have any more kids I'd have an elective C section. I know the risks, I know what the recovery can be like. Unfortunately I know first hand the risks of vaginal birth and the recovery from that. Lifelong birth injuries and PTSD as a result of giving birth vaginally. If I knew then what I know now I'd have forsaken having kids completely unless I would be guaranteed a C section.

People just like to patronising OP, take no notice. The whole 'ooh it's major surgery' thing is so infantilising and downright patronising, as if you're not aware that having a baby cut from you is major surgery eye roll. People are quick to talk about the difficult recovery from a C section but quick to shut down the experiences of women who had a difficult recovery from a vaginal birth.

I was misinformed and believed that you'd bounce back from a vaginal delivery and be up and about and okay within a few days. Nope. It horrifies me looking back. I would never go through that again. I couldn't move from standing to sitting and back while holding my baby or without assistance for weeks. Fully incontinent for months. Excruciating pain during recovery. Permanent injury. Just no way. It feels so barbaric to me.

All the people on here saying it's selfish to have an elective surgery, I bloody hope you don't smoke, drink, take any risks, always exercise, have a totally healthy diet etc, otherwise you are being bloody hypocritical in that you probably cost the NHS just as much in "avoidable" costs.

@CorneliusVetch I'm also appalled.

What about the cost of vaginal births in the long run? Of surgery to treat birth injuries like rectoceles and fistulas? Physio for women whose pelvic floors were destroyed? NHS funded psychotherapy to treat PTSD symptoms and trauma?

😂😂😂😂 yes totally. If only all the women who needed emergency c-sections had practised down breathing like you.

Oh and my last section was during covid lockdown - they hoofed me out after 12 hours. I’d only been down on the ward 4 hours.

I thought they were joking, but no, there I was staggering to the car 12 hours after with a couple of other bemused looking post section women.

Other two, I was in for two nights.

YANBU to ask the question; overall the outcomes for babies and mothers are better for natural births.

@JustATomCat FWIW I chose an ELCS for my first birth in the NHS. And all those that followed. The hospital’s consultant made it very clear to me she didn’t support my decision and I had numerous sessions of attempts to ‘counsel’ me to try a vaginal birth and see how I go. But I stood my ground and got what I wanted - am ELCS.

@VeneziaGiulia45 you can definitely choose an ELCS at most NHS hospitals but some will seek to put you through counselling to persuade you otherwise.

That’s a very good point, I’d not considered that so I retract my comment about cost. It’s sad that cost should even be an issue in this.

Good for you, I wish elective caesarean were around when I had mine. Nearly got my wish with second one who was breech, but little devil turned 2 weeks before. I had easy births, 1st was 4 hrs and 2nd 2hrs, but think it was a disgusting and painful process and so wanted caesarean.
Go for it and don't give a shit about other people.

I hope they don’t, healthy people often live longer than their organs or brains are likely to last and end up costing the NHS and social care buckets *

*sarcasm for those who have a hard time spotting sarcasm. I don’t begrudge anyone medical intervention they need to stay alive or have a decent quality of life because I’m not a protectionist around paying for health services I might not benefit from myself.

Nothing and I truly mean nothing about natural childbirth/ labour appeals to me. Not the hours of pain, pushing, potential rips/ tears, forcep intervention, epidural (yes I appreciate I'd have one of these for a section), damage of my pelvic floor and the panic and stress of potentially having to be rushed to theatre because it just wasn't going to happen naturally and the baby is in distress or whatever.

In fairness, I don’t think any of that “appeals” to anybody.

You mean it wasn’t ‘a couple of hours of mild discomfort’ like someone upthread claimed?! 😂😂

Depends on how you quantify the outcomes. They don’t look at things like pelvic floor damage, prolapse, loss of sexual function, incontinence, emotional trauma etc because these are seen trivial women’s issues, despite being profoundly distressing for lots of women.

Not to mention the hypoxic brain injuries which occur to a small minority of babies in vaginal birth. A higher chance of NICU etc from a section is a preferable risk profile to me than a very small chance of a catastrophic outcome.

I’ve had a vaginal birth and would never say they are a bad choice. I respect the autonomy of all women to assess which set of risks is more acceptable to them. But I object to this suggestion a vaginal birth is somehow inherently better, because it isn’t.

I'd be happier for all women to have C sections (not that they would all chose it) than giving tax cuts to billionaires and big business, funding MP's second homes and throwing money at nuclear warheads, yes.

@GirlSYML I didn’t at any point suggest people could avoid emergency c-sections by down breathing did I?

I think the only Queen I’d want to feel like if anticipating childbirth is Victoria. Knocked the fuck out and woken up when it’s over.

It's weird but all things baby and child are judged by others and there is FA you can do about it. Starts with unwanted advice on what to eat, drink and do while pregnant. Continues with birth choices. Doesn't stop when the baby arrives, bf, ff, attachment parenting, CIO, 'in my day' comments, saying no, never saying no, weaning - purees, baby lead, nursery, no nursery, SAHM, WOHM. Literally never ends. Probably best to grow a thick skin now, make your own decisions, and resist the urge to feel the need to explain your reasons.
Congrats on your pregnancy.

I’m opting for an elective this time due to having the same complication that resulted in an emergency section last time.

as of yet (18 weeks) I haven’t had a single bad response to people finding out I’m having an elective which might I add has already been booked by the nhs they must be on their game. Most people just say “I would if I had another tbh good for you” or something to that effect.

best of luck with whatever you choose in the end

It’s only because they want to be a martyr

I was gutted about my emergency C section for a while - I felt like a natural birth was a rite of passage that made me a proper mother

three years on, that’s total nonsense. It’s the mothering that makes me a mother- it’s the joyful but exhausting, relentless, non stop selfless mothering that makes me a mother

basically you will be judged as a mother in everything you do - breastfeed v formula, sleep train v don’t, work v don’t work, buying them stuff v not,

so id start practising the ignoring from now

Cesareans are horrid. I've had two. Both times the recovery was horrific. They were necessary and planned, one because baby had a medical condition and needed delivering prematurely, the other because I was overdue and nothing was happening. I've never experienced a vaginal delivery, but of everyone I know, those who delivered vaginally were back to normal activity within a week, even with tears, those who had sections, took far longer to recover. I was 3 months post partum before I could walk to the supermarket and suffered abdominal muscle separation for 4 years after baby 2. It took a week before I could hobble upstairs for a shower. One friends csection wound ruptured and got infected and she was ill for months. Others had a similar experience to myself.
I know planning is preferable, but don't go into this blindly thinking a cesarean will make life easier, because it won't. It will be harder afterwards.

Think long and hard, you don't have to commit to anything yet.

@silverbubbles I had all my 3 elective sections on the NHS.
Brilliant experience every time and recovery was really easy.

Why are you even telling people?

Just keep your plans to yourself