To not want to watch adult BILs play football

[Olive180]

DP (36) is from a big football family, and two of his younger brothers play in the same local team (just a bog standard Sunday league). It's their end of season tournament or something next Sunday and DP is going to watch with MIL, FIL, two sets of grandparents, and the partners of both BILs. I dont want to spend a sunny Sunday of my weekend watching random men run around a field. DP isn't usually one for couple 'obligations' but seems really disappointed I feel this way, and is sad that I don't want to go on this family day out, which is apparently a tradition for them.

Aibu? If DP was playing I'd happily go and watch, but he's not!

I'd go. It's a couple of hours and a chance to share something with your inlaws and maybe get to know them and SIL better.

Next year unfortunately you will be already booked up (so sorry, have fun, look forward to hearing all about it).

And I'd insist on a pub lunch afterwards.
They don't all have to come!
BTW it would be less attractive prospect if your partner was actually playing - he'll be there to chat with at least.

It’s 2 hours? Join the family and if the rest don’t want to go for food afterwards just take your OH. Small league games aren’t crowded or OTT

If you like the family members I think it's a bit churlish not to go to this one off event.

2 hours and it's a family tradition?

I think YABU - just take a camping chair, flask of coffee and nice snacks, wrap up warm and see it as a social thing - like popping to their house for a few hours!

Would your DH do a similar thing for you, ie spend time with your family doing something he might not otherwise choose to do? If so, then I'd do this for him. If not I wouldn't!

I would find it really boring too but if it is a one-off and not a regular thing then I would go, it is only two hours. I guess it is actually really complimentary he wants you there so much.

Can you get an agreement he will cheerfully do something you like in return another day?

You can't suck it up for one day, for the end of season tournament? Really? That's so much to ask?

^I agree. People nowadays are just so selfish and self absorbed

Depends on the weather for me.
I hate football- especially Sunday League.
Even my sport mad dh has always balked at Sunday football. Something about the attitude of Sunday club players?
But if your OH thinks it's more a family thing and he wants you to be seen as part of the family then it's not about the football.

If it's a nice sunny day and you won't be freezing your nuts off, you like his parents and the partners aren't awful then go.

I think you are over estimating the size of the crowd at Sunday league football matches

We all have to do things we don’t want to do sometimes, for the sake of people we love. It means a lot to your DH that you go so I think you should on this occasion.

Don’t go. Fuck football. Have a nice day on your own

You want me to go do something that sounds mind numbingly boring to me for a few hours. I would like a nice Sunday lunch where you would get to sit down having a nice meal for an hour or two. I suggested this and you said no. Guess what I’m saying to your suggestion? Maybe we could do both, there’s plenty of time. Maybe we could do neither. It’s totally your decision darling.

Oh god I don't blame you, I wouldn't be going!

Jeeze, we all do boring stuff in the interests of our family members, surely? All of us with kids do for starters.

Take a camping chair, a flask and snacks, and have a laugh. It's not like you've got to watch every second and not chat to anyone.

God no - I wouldn't be watching football unless my DS was playing. Go and enjoy your afternoon by yourself. They have so many people going they won't miss you lot being there!

Not interested in football at all but I’d go if it was important to my husband and his family. He’d do/has done the same for me (not football 😁).
it’s a couple of hours.

If it was important to my dp and his family, I would spend a couple of hours attending.

Its not every week. As a one off it wouldn't be an issue.

Dp attends things for me, that I expect he would prefer not to attend but does because its important to me or my kids or my dad. As long as its not all the time.

This sounds absolutely fecking awful!

would much rather stay in bed or mooch around at home than do this.

Would your husband give up a bank holiday Sunday to watch your sisters play a netball tournament?

Depends if it’s one of those godawful all day affairs. I did those with DS1, there is nothing on earth that would make me go and watch adults fannying around a football pitch!

But as an autonomous individual, you could choose to go out to lunch afterward. And take your husband if you like. If it's only two hours it's really not much of a sacrifice, IMO.

No.

Last Sunday league game of the season? Probs wouldn't go to see DH. If one of the DC asked I'd go.

Hope the rest of the family have a nice time.

Would your DP go along to something random that he wasn't really interested in on a bank holiday Sunday because it was a family tradition and meant a lot to you? Or would he say, nah I'm off to the pub with my mates/going on a bike ride//watching tv?

I'm going to bet, 'no'. If that's correct then do what you want. Why would you go if you're not interested?

I thought you were going to say every week for 6 months! As a one off for something that is important to the family, I would go.

Would your DH do the same for you?

I can't help thinking there's a bit of a sneery undertone in your post but could be wrong.

I have a very small family, just my parents and one sibling. None of us are sporty, or performers, and there's been no watching of each other doing things over the years. I'd have nothing like this to invite DP to, and certainly wouldn't subject him to anything like that anyway! Maybe I just don't get it.