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AIBU?

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Original poster

to send money to a Moroccan taxi driver

554 replies

Autumnterm · 26/04/2022 16:08

Back in 2018 I went to Marrakech on holiday with my son. I can’t remember exactly how but I ended up getting the phone number of a friendly local taxi driver who took us from A to B several times. When we went back the following year we used him for our airport transfers both ways.

Since Feb 2020 we haven’t travelled abroad anywhere but I would occasionally get a text from him saying hello or how are you, to which I would respond hello/salaam/labas and that was that. I didn’t think much about it except that he was checking in just in case I was headed to Morocco and was tempted to use another taxi driver....and I did at one point recommend him to a relative going there but their trip was recently cancelled due to COVID.

Anyway cut forward to this week. He texted again and said hello my dear friend how are you and your family, and I responded as usual.

But this time he went on to say that life is hard for him, he has had no work due to the collapse in tourism and as a result he cannot pay for his kids to go to school. He sent me a picture of them - a boy and a girl, they look to be about 3 and 5 years old so I presume he means nursery school.

Stupidly (maybe) I asked how much was school and he said €90.

He has since sent me several texts asking if i will help pay for his kids to go to school. His English is not perfect but it sounds like he wants €30 a month for three months and he says in return if/when we go back he will drive us anywhere we want.

On one hand I know that Marrakech is one of the scam cities of the universe (lots of the people who run investment scams targeting UK pensioners are actually based there). I have no way of knowing if the kids in the photo he has sent me are really his and if there really is a charge to go to school and if he really has no work.

On the other hand €30 is affordable for me and I genuinely do feel sorry for people who rely on tourist revenue who have had a very hard time of it over the last two years. Morocco is open for tourists now but it was locked down for the whole 2020 season and some of 2021.

Would I BU to send him some €?

OP posts:
impossible · 27/04/2022 11:25

Autumnterm · 27/04/2022 10:18

Here is what I am going to do having thought about it overnight, if he will still accept the money now which I am not sure he will.

It’s Eid al Fitr on Monday, and I will give him a gift of €100 and say Eid Mubarak. It is completely up to him how he spends it - on an Eid feast, on his children’s school, on rent, whatever. Gifts should not be conditional.

We have not been to Morocco in two years and 100 euros is not much compared to what we would have spent in local hotels and cafes and souks and on taxis on two trips. But could make a big difference to this guy and his family until tourism picks up properly again.

That's such a good way of handling it and, as you say, gifts should be unconditional. People very often need help and you're in a position to be able to help him.

If he's being disingenuous, as some people suggest, I'm not sure it really matters. It's a one-off gift to a man who is bound to have been stung by the impact of the pandemic. Nice also that you are not cynical.

TheThreadisMildlyAmusing · 27/04/2022 11:25

steppemum · 27/04/2022 11:19

so this was the first reply on your thread OP.

education is FREE and compulsory.
So why is he asking for money?

I am amazed that no-one else has picked up on this post!

Show quote history

They have and it's been covered and explained that preschool and nursery are not free, several times over.

steppemum · 27/04/2022 11:27

Cervinia · 26/04/2022 16:11

Google says education is compulsory and free in Morocco to 15.

so this was the first reply on your thread OP.

education is FREE and compulsory.
So why is he asking for money?

I am amazed that no-one else has picked up on this post!

impossible · 27/04/2022 11:29

steppemum · 27/04/2022 11:27

so this was the first reply on your thread OP.

education is FREE and compulsory.
So why is he asking for money?

I am amazed that no-one else has picked up on this post!

Show quote history

Read the thread.

Sawadeekaka · 27/04/2022 11:30

AProperStinging · 27/04/2022 08:55

@Sawadeekaka
A 100% no overheads charity would worry me greatly. Who is auditing that charity? Who is evaluating their work? Who is doing their accounts? Overheads in and of themselves are not bad, they can ensure the work is more impactful and reduce the potential for fraud.

It is a small charity and I am very aware of exactly what the work is achieving and has done during the 15+ years that I've known about it. There is no fraud and we have personally seen the very impressive impact.

I'm on way to work but can share details privately later. However, best not to assume that the person you're talking to is an idiot.

You still can't have had a professional external evaluation if you have zero overheads for example. It's just a fact. You don't know what might have been able to have been done differently - more effectively, more efficiently, any unintended impacts (which all interventions can have) if you don't do that.

I work with a grassroots organization where I live myself. Very few overheads but I see how that affects implementation. It's OK because the grassroots nature of the work and the in-depth knowledge of the local community is important.

But 100% no overheads is a cause of concern, not celebration. It might be justified in some cases but it's certainly not something we should be aiming for and putting pressure on charities to achieve this is wrong.

3g4g5g · 27/04/2022 11:31

preschool and nursery are not free, several times over.

sorry , I don't really want to go through 15 pages or so find out this info (if indeed this has been addressed), but surely if preschool and Nursery are not free then it can't be compulsory? If it is not compulsory, then he doesn't need to send them do they?

Iamthewalnut · 27/04/2022 11:38

ScrumptiousBears · 26/04/2022 16:25

Have you posted before Op because I've read this story before.

I too have read this story before - so much so that I had to check the date it was posted to make sure it wasn't a zombie thread.

MissPolliezDolly · 27/04/2022 11:40

Education may be free but it could be that he wants them to go to kindergarten before starting ‘proper school’.

Id send the money but in one lump sum to avoid repeated back charges.

Going forward you don’t have to help him ever again unless you really want to.

In his favour I’d say it’s taken a few years for him to ask for help and I think if he was real scam artist he’d have done it before now. It’s also Eid in a few days and perhaps he’s pushed for money to celebrate it and school is an excused

MissPolliezDolly · 27/04/2022 11:42

sorry , I don't really want to go through 15 pages or so find out this info (if indeed this has been addressed), but surely if preschool and Nursery are not free then it can't be compulsory? If it is not compulsory, then he doesn't need to send them do they?

Never underestimate the value of education in 3rd world countries and what people do to get their children a few years headstart

Puzzledandpissedoff · 27/04/2022 11:43

It’s Eid al Fitr on Monday, and I will give him a gift of €100 and say Eid Mubarak. It is completely up to him how he spends it - on an Eid feast, on his children’s school, on rent, whatever. Gifts should not be conditional

I thought you were going to check it out by asking him to name where you stayed and when you were last there? Though I can almost guarantee the reply would have been an injured "I can see you don't trust me ..." in the hope of making you feel so guilty you'd send even more

Best get ready for the taxi broken down / roof blown off / grandma needs medication messages and practice your sadface expression, and remember all those less fortunate who you may be encouraging him to approach

MissPolliezDolly · 27/04/2022 11:46

It’s Eid al Fitr on Monday, and I will give him a gift of €100 and say Eid Mubarak. It is completely up to him how he spends it - on an Eid feast, on his children’s school, on rent, whatever. Gifts should not be conditional

Thats a lovely thing to do. And you’re correct. Gifts shouldn’t be conditional.

Original poster
Autumnterm · 27/04/2022 11:58

3g4g5g · 27/04/2022 11:31

preschool and nursery are not free, several times over.

sorry , I don't really want to go through 15 pages or so find out this info (if indeed this has been addressed), but surely if preschool and Nursery are not free then it can't be compulsory? If it is not compulsory, then he doesn't need to send them do they?

If you can’t be bothered to RTT then I almost can’t be bothered to answer but in summary…

  1. government (free) schooling there starts at 6, two years later than schools in the UK and three years later than UK nurseries. Six years is a long time to not have access to any education (the equivalent of no EYFS at all which in this country we would deem unthinkable). Therefore anyone who can possibly afford it tries to scrape the money together to send their kids to a “private” school. These private schools are not flash like in the UK, they are located in neighbourhood houses and are a bit like a childminder offering lessons and formal activities.

  2. in this case, the taxi driver was doing OK pre pandemic and his daughter had started at one of these schools. However she has had to stop attending and her brother cannot start at all.

  3. while I don’t think childcare is the most important factor in this case, would you say “nursery isn’t compulsory you don’t need to send your child” to a British person who was trying desperately to earn a living and was looking for decent childcare?

OP posts:
MapleMay11 · 27/04/2022 12:10

3g4g5g · 27/04/2022 11:31

preschool and nursery are not free, several times over.

sorry , I don't really want to go through 15 pages or so find out this info (if indeed this has been addressed), but surely if preschool and Nursery are not free then it can't be compulsory? If it is not compulsory, then he doesn't need to send them do they?

He wants to give his children the very best start possible in life. Education is so highly valued in developing countries because it presents opportunities for people to live and work overseas and earn good money, something that their father hasn't been able to do. It also means they will be able to send money back home. Overseas remittances are a huge contributor to the economy of many developing countries.

AlternativePerspective · 27/04/2022 12:18

I actually think this thread needs deleting.

The number of posters on here who are essentially advocating scamming other people is astounding. All the “don’t give what you can’t afford;maybe it’s not genuine but better give to a scammer than someone genuine be in need” type posts are nothing short of condoning scamming people for money.

And for the people who say it’s racist, no it isn’t. It’s just unfortunate that people in certain countries have a reputation for scamming in this way. Nigerian prince being a case in point. Doesn’t mean that there aren’t genuine people in those countries, but I know e.g. plenty of Nigerians who will attest to the fact that many people in Nigeria are dodgy and not to be trusted.

Honestly it’s not just £90. Even if he only asks once, if he asks everyone he ever speaks to once, as a taxi driver he’s probably on to a nice little earner.

Anyone who believes that a taxi driver from 4 years ago in another country has only the OP to turn to for money in their desperate situation needs their head read.

SVDW1136 · 27/04/2022 12:20

I think you are a very kind person, OP. I think your conclusion to send a gift without conditions is very lovely, and also freeing of any regrets. It may be a scam, but I like your positive mentality towards the scenario. I often donate (I.E. food or money to homeless) and think “am I being ripped off” but then feel my intentions are good, and I am giving what I can afford and won’t feel regret in doing so. I’m sure good karma will find you.

Toddlerteaplease · 27/04/2022 12:23

wonkygorgeous · 26/04/2022 16:55

Pay the school directly.

Get the names and DOB of the children.

Research the school in question and only communicate with them directly not through a link.

I can't see this being a scam if they are willing to let you pay your way. Not their way!

It screams scam!!

FeathersMcGee · 27/04/2022 12:24

Autumnterm · 27/04/2022 11:58

If you can’t be bothered to RTT then I almost can’t be bothered to answer but in summary…

  1. government (free) schooling there starts at 6, two years later than schools in the UK and three years later than UK nurseries. Six years is a long time to not have access to any education (the equivalent of no EYFS at all which in this country we would deem unthinkable). Therefore anyone who can possibly afford it tries to scrape the money together to send their kids to a “private” school. These private schools are not flash like in the UK, they are located in neighbourhood houses and are a bit like a childminder offering lessons and formal activities.

  2. in this case, the taxi driver was doing OK pre pandemic and his daughter had started at one of these schools. However she has had to stop attending and her brother cannot start at all.

  3. while I don’t think childcare is the most important factor in this case, would you say “nursery isn’t compulsory you don’t need to send your child” to a British person who was trying desperately to earn a living and was looking for decent childcare?

Show quote history

On your third point - is he, then, a single father? I would have though would be a very difficult situation and he would have told you all about it. Is there any mention of the children’s mother at all? I wondered what her role is - presumably she doesn’t work outside the home? So the childcare requirement isn’t there. I’m not saying that the children shouldn’t be sent to preschool, but if the family is struggling to pay fees and there is a mother at home, the obvious short term solution is for her to keep them home with her until things pick up. That would cost you them nothing.

Tarnation · 27/04/2022 12:27

I think your solution is a elegant one (you've effectively made it a one-off gift related to the festival, so you're in no way expected to continue to fund preschool attendance). If the world had more people like you, it would be a better place.

alwaysontheloo · 27/04/2022 12:31

I think the phrase "a fool and their money are easily parted" springs to mind here.
I'm not saying you are a fool OP but he clearly thinks you are if he is rude and cheeky enough to ask you to pay for his children's education. And you actually pay it.
It's a scam and I don't know why people are encouraging you otherwise.
I've always wondered why these scammers keep on doing it and here we can see why. Because people fall for it. This is why we see stories of older lonely women being fleeced out of their lifesavings.
If he doesn't have 90 euros he can ask a relative or a genuine real life friend.
Why on earth would he ask a virtual stranger he met briefly once many years ago if it was genuine OP? Think about it.

womanchild · 27/04/2022 12:33

That's why and how men prey on women financially using emotional manipulation

SeedyBloomer · 27/04/2022 12:43

It is really not normal for taxi drivers to text women in foreign countries for years after a visit to ‘check in just in case they are headed to Morocco and was tempted to use another taxi driver.’ Did you travel as a lone woman with your sons? It’s also not normal to text a woman in another country years later asking for money out of the blue. He hardly knows you. He is keeping in touch purely because he thinks you have money to give him. I mean this kindly, but stop being gullible.

JinglingHellsBells · 27/04/2022 12:43

@Autumnterm Euros ?

You do know that euros are not the currency of Morocco?

So have you simply used the euro key on your device instead of the £ sign, or do you really believe he wants euros?

You don't even know if it's the actual taxi driver contacting you.
He could be part of a large gang and it could be anyone with your number.
He could have sold your number to someone.

Honestly, you are coming over as very gullible.

JinglingHellsBells · 27/04/2022 12:44

Tarnation · 27/04/2022 12:27

I think your solution is a elegant one (you've effectively made it a one-off gift related to the festival, so you're in no way expected to continue to fund preschool attendance). If the world had more people like you, it would be a better place.

No, if more people gave money to scammers the world would NOT be a better place.

gamerchick · 27/04/2022 12:45

No, because it will never end. This is just a taster to see if you'll bite.

On your own head be it.

JinglingHellsBells · 27/04/2022 12:49

@Autumnterm You have no idea if he has children.

He sent you photos.

They could be of any child.

Do you not understand that these are the tricks scammers play?

Mature women on dating sites have been set up like you are, handing over money, only to find that the photos they were sent were fake, and the 'oh poor me' scenario was pure fiction.

Have you really not come across these kinds of scams before?

There is no proof you are communicating with the taxi driver.
You have no proof the photos are his children.

All you know is some man, somewhere, has your phone number, and is asking you for money.

It could be anyone, anywhere.