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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to send money to a Moroccan taxi driver

554 replies

Autumnterm · 26/04/2022 16:08

Back in 2018 I went to Marrakech on holiday with my son. I can’t remember exactly how but I ended up getting the phone number of a friendly local taxi driver who took us from A to B several times. When we went back the following year we used him for our airport transfers both ways.

Since Feb 2020 we haven’t travelled abroad anywhere but I would occasionally get a text from him saying hello or how are you, to which I would respond hello/salaam/labas and that was that. I didn’t think much about it except that he was checking in just in case I was headed to Morocco and was tempted to use another taxi driver....and I did at one point recommend him to a relative going there but their trip was recently cancelled due to COVID.

Anyway cut forward to this week. He texted again and said hello my dear friend how are you and your family, and I responded as usual.

But this time he went on to say that life is hard for him, he has had no work due to the collapse in tourism and as a result he cannot pay for his kids to go to school. He sent me a picture of them - a boy and a girl, they look to be about 3 and 5 years old so I presume he means nursery school.

Stupidly (maybe) I asked how much was school and he said €90.

He has since sent me several texts asking if i will help pay for his kids to go to school. His English is not perfect but it sounds like he wants €30 a month for three months and he says in return if/when we go back he will drive us anywhere we want.

On one hand I know that Marrakech is one of the scam cities of the universe (lots of the people who run investment scams targeting UK pensioners are actually based there). I have no way of knowing if the kids in the photo he has sent me are really his and if there really is a charge to go to school and if he really has no work.

On the other hand €30 is affordable for me and I genuinely do feel sorry for people who rely on tourist revenue who have had a very hard time of it over the last two years. Morocco is open for tourists now but it was locked down for the whole 2020 season and some of 2021.

Would I BU to send him some €?

OP posts:
Diagnosticdigressions · 27/04/2022 10:17

@Autumnterm You sound lovely. I totally understand the dilemma and why you posted. It's really hard to get the balance between humanity and trust and not being naive. On occasion I've given money on trust in similar circumstances and once or twice it's been clear that maybe it wasn't the right decision. And there are times, looking back, when I didn't help and kind of wish I had. On the whole, I'd rather think the best of people. Sorry this probably doesn't help in this particular scenario but hope you aren't agonising too much about it all.

JinglingHellsBells · 27/04/2022 10:17

You realise you are probably one of many fares he's targeted and trying to make money out of you all?

How can you be so naive?

Original poster
Autumnterm · 27/04/2022 10:18

Here is what I am going to do having thought about it overnight, if he will still accept the money now which I am not sure he will.

It’s Eid al Fitr on Monday, and I will give him a gift of €100 and say Eid Mubarak. It is completely up to him how he spends it - on an Eid feast, on his children’s school, on rent, whatever. Gifts should not be conditional.

We have not been to Morocco in two years and 100 euros is not much compared to what we would have spent in local hotels and cafes and souks and on taxis on two trips. But could make a big difference to this guy and his family until tourism picks up properly again.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 27/04/2022 10:19

Autumnterm · 27/04/2022 10:18

Here is what I am going to do having thought about it overnight, if he will still accept the money now which I am not sure he will.

It’s Eid al Fitr on Monday, and I will give him a gift of €100 and say Eid Mubarak. It is completely up to him how he spends it - on an Eid feast, on his children’s school, on rent, whatever. Gifts should not be conditional.

We have not been to Morocco in two years and 100 euros is not much compared to what we would have spent in local hotels and cafes and souks and on taxis on two trips. But could make a big difference to this guy and his family until tourism picks up properly again.

That's actually a lovely idea

thisplaceisweird · 27/04/2022 10:20

Autumnterm · 27/04/2022 10:18

Here is what I am going to do having thought about it overnight, if he will still accept the money now which I am not sure he will.

It’s Eid al Fitr on Monday, and I will give him a gift of €100 and say Eid Mubarak. It is completely up to him how he spends it - on an Eid feast, on his children’s school, on rent, whatever. Gifts should not be conditional.

We have not been to Morocco in two years and 100 euros is not much compared to what we would have spent in local hotels and cafes and souks and on taxis on two trips. But could make a big difference to this guy and his family until tourism picks up properly again.

Good for you OP. You sound lovely and that's a really nice idea.

Diagnosticdigressions · 27/04/2022 10:20

I think, if you can afford it, that's a lovely idea. Incidentally, just got back from a family trip to Morocco and things are v quiet there at the moment, tourism-wise

JinglingHellsBells · 27/04/2022 10:20

Autumnterm · 27/04/2022 10:18

Here is what I am going to do having thought about it overnight, if he will still accept the money now which I am not sure he will.

It’s Eid al Fitr on Monday, and I will give him a gift of €100 and say Eid Mubarak. It is completely up to him how he spends it - on an Eid feast, on his children’s school, on rent, whatever. Gifts should not be conditional.

We have not been to Morocco in two years and 100 euros is not much compared to what we would have spent in local hotels and cafes and souks and on taxis on two trips. But could make a big difference to this guy and his family until tourism picks up properly again.

And all the other women he's hit on will be thinking the same.

If he's lucky.

If you go ahead with your plan, expect to be contacted again and again, not necessarily by him but by others in the 'gang' who see you as a soft touch.

You are mad. Really.

3g4g5g · 27/04/2022 10:23

I think the odd text messages asking how you are is just him prepping for the big kill. Its €90 now, then it will be something else and the ask will increase. He could be genuine, but he could also not be. (Depending on what kind of person he is) he could also organise a kidnapping of you/your child when you are there using his taxi to off-set your €90. One country I visited ,the cleaning ladies at the airport would wait for you to come out of the toilet and watch you washing your hands , and then theyll rush and give you a tissue to wipe your hands and expect a tip for it. If you are in a poor country and people are super friendly with you to the point of exchanging contact details, its usually because they probably want something, or are keeping in with you to ask for some help in future. This help could be financial or help to get a visa for them or a family member in future. Of course its always nice to help and be in a position to help, but ideally the help should come from a place of mutual sincerity and not as part of being made a project or being made a Mug of. If you really want to help him, and money is not an issue for you, you could send the money and make it clear that it is a one off and block contact. Don't use his services the next time you go there. Too close for comfort. If not, just find a sponsor a child charity and sponsor a child who has hopefully been verified by an organisation.

GenerallyGreenerGrass · 27/04/2022 10:23

Everyone has had a difficult time because of Covid and I imagine with the lack of tourists that taxi drivers would have really suffered.
He is actually offering you something in exchange for a loan, to drive you for free next time you’re over there.
For what it’s worth Op I would send him the €90 because I think that you believe he is telling the truth but if he ever asks again for anything, immediately block him.

JinglingHellsBells · 27/04/2022 10:27

GenerallyGreenerGrass · 27/04/2022 10:23

Everyone has had a difficult time because of Covid and I imagine with the lack of tourists that taxi drivers would have really suffered.
He is actually offering you something in exchange for a loan, to drive you for free next time you’re over there.
For what it’s worth Op I would send him the €90 because I think that you believe he is telling the truth but if he ever asks again for anything, immediately block him.

Oh FGS! Is it not clear she is one of many?
He will never appear to fulfil his offer of free taxi rides!

This is like a man who is dating several women all at once but making each one feel she is special.

She will not be the only one.

CharityShopChic · 27/04/2022 10:29

Also, since when have they used euros in Morocco?

3g4g5g · 27/04/2022 10:29

but if he ever asks again for anything, immediately block him.

OP probably won't be able to block him if it happens again, because I suspect the next time one of his children will be gravely ill and no mother would be able to turn a blind eye to it. OP, if you decide to send him the money I think you need to block him assoon as you send him the €90. I think he is trying to take advantage of your maternal instincts.

SarahSissions · 27/04/2022 10:30

It’s your money, do what you like with it. You are aware it may be a scam, or not end up doing quite what you intend it for-but if you’re ok with that why not?
just be aware it might escalate- £30 here-he realises you are good for money so
you may get more requests. Keep it under control. People can also get nasty and manipulative so be aware.

Hobnobswantshernameback · 27/04/2022 10:30

Dear god no wonder the Nigerian royal family is so extensive

Wnkingawalrus · 27/04/2022 10:33

Totally weird that he’s been sending messages this whole time, even before the request for cash.

If this was a UK taxi driver they’d have been reported for harassment long before now!

elisenbrunnen · 27/04/2022 10:48

This reply has been deleted

Quotes deleted post

Blackbird2020 · 27/04/2022 10:57

I don’t think it’s a scam… but he’s got you into an odd dynamic now by his response to you asking questions about his kids’ nursery. You are feeling guilty to the point of you saying, if he will still accept the money now which I am not sure he will

That is not a healthy dynamic in any situation, desperate Moroccan taxi driver or not.

Let’s just say I’m a chauffeur and I picked up a rich banker a couple of times, we struck up a good conversation and got into each other’s social media. Every few months I sent him a message, just saying hi, how’s things. He replies simply, yep all good. Nothing else.

Then 3 years later I ask him to help me as I’m in dire financial straits. I ‘only’ need £200. That’s nothing for a guy like him, right? His boozy Saturday lunch at a posh restaurant would cost more. But bloody hell, it would make a real difference to the next month for me….

He then replies and asks me for more info about my situation.

Would I go into a HUFF and say, ‘Whatever, I’ll just ask someone else, or I’ll just find the money in some other way. It sounds like you think I’m lying…’??? Really? Would I?

And then the bonkers thing - that this rich banker dude is now going to send me cash on the back of my response, but is worried I won’t accept it?!

Turn it on it’s head, and see how odd this dynamic has become with someone you’ve met twice.

It’s good to help, good to give what you can, even to relative strangers if you feel like it’s ok for you. But there’s a touch of ‘unhealthy’ to this dynamic that would definitely make me think twice about sending him money.

powershowerforanhour · 27/04/2022 10:58

"Totally weird that he’s been sending messages this whole time, even before the request for cash.

If this was a UK taxi driver they’d have been reported for harassment long before now!"

Yeah, odd. If a married man was texting me random hello how are yous off the back of such a slight acquaintance I'd be thinking eww is he after sex or is this going to turn into a money gouging attempt somehow. Either way I'd be thinking- user alert.

Do you think there's dozens of blokes on dadsnet getting tapped for cash for the kids of taxi drivers from 3 years ago , and then hand wringing about having offended the person with their hand out by asking for a bit of verification? Hell no. But then men aren't socialised to feel guilty about everything.

It could well be reasonably genuine in that it probably is the same taxi driver and they could well be (the cutest sample of) his children (sample containing one of each sex to increase the hit rate of chiming with women who have just boys or just girls or both; money request being "for the education of children, including a girl" tick tick tick). Women all over the world earn less than men but they get tapped for cash more not because we are stupid but because it's easier to activate the guilt button.

Original poster
Autumnterm · 27/04/2022 11:00

CharityShopChic · 27/04/2022 10:29

Also, since when have they used euros in Morocco?

Have you actually ever been there? Euros are very widely used and accepted in Morocco, a bit like US dollars are used in parts of central America and Mexico.

I think it’s partly the historic links with France and also, it is illegal to take dirhams out of the country and foreigners cannot buy them before they travel.

OP posts:
Tilltheend99 · 27/04/2022 11:10

JudgeRindersMinder · 26/04/2022 16:28

If you’re determined to send him something, tell him you’ll pay the bill direct, then you’ll find out if he’s scamming

This

Rondvassbu · 27/04/2022 11:11

It would be a big fat no from me.
But you seem determined to give him something. Don't be surprised then if in 6 months there's some other kind of emergency involving his children/mother/accommodation/whatever.

CharityShopChic · 27/04/2022 11:14

Get the point about euros - have never been to Morocco but have been to other countries in Central America where dollars are commonly used.

Still think you are absolutely unhinged for sending him anything.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 27/04/2022 11:18

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 27/04/2022 09:06

An English taxi driver would have access to benefits. People in Morocco are destitute due to covid.

Basic benefits in the UK are pitiful and certainly wouldn't stop people needing to ask for help.'

If people in this country weren't in poverty we wouldn't have so many food banks!

They prevent destitution. In Morocco there is NOTHING

steppemum · 27/04/2022 11:19

Cervinia · 26/04/2022 16:11

Google says education is compulsory and free in Morocco to 15.

so this was the first reply on your thread OP.

education is FREE and compulsory.
So why is he asking for money?

I am amazed that no-one else has picked up on this post!

RedMake88 · 27/04/2022 11:24

You won’t be the only one, reason he’s asked for €30 is because yes it’s affordable. But when he’s messaged like 100 people then it’s a lot of money even if only 1/10 send him money. It’s a decent ‘passive’ income for him for 3 months!

don’t do it.