Please don’t be rude in responses. I feel
awdul enough as it is but I just couldn’t take any more.
I have known my friend for approx 13 years, and in that time she has owned many animals (cats and dogs mostly, but there have also been hamsters and Guinea pigs, now a tortoise!)
At present she owns 3 cats, a chihuahua and the aforementioned tortoise. She lives in a 1 bed housing association flat where I know for a fact she is not allowed to keep these animals as per their rules. But in her last two residences, she ignored that then, too! Not only that, but I am sorry to say she is absolutely hopeless at looking after these animals.
She lives with her partner and their 1 year old daughter (whom I feel awful saying she is not exactly capable of caring for her either; her partner does quite literally everything, and their child is out of control. But that’s another issue. Social Services are already involved there.)
In regards to these animals, she:
- Leaves them unattended for 2-4 days at a time whilst they (she, her partner and their daughter) go off to stay with friends. This is AT LEAST once a week. When I asked who is looking after the animals in that time, she said “no one.” Like me asking was a stupid question!? I asked “well do you come back to feed them?” And again she said no; she leaves a bowl of biscuits down for them, and a bowl of water. Yes, to last them for 2-4 days! I actually had to double check this with her myself as I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! But no, she has confirmed this to be the case.
- She has a carer/personal assistant from a care agency who comes in to help her out with some things, and this lady has complained to Social Services before that dog and cat faeces were on the floor!? Near the child? (I did not witness this, but I do not see why this woman would risk her job fabricating this!)
- She only feeds them biscuits and no meat because she can’t afford it. She’s admitted to being in debt.
- The tortoise does not have a proper vivarium.
- The dog is not walked at all (but apparently this isn’t neglect?! Yet it gets little to no exercise so I fail to see how it isn’t neglect?)
- The dog is not properly trained, and was bought from a shady seller as a one year old dog.
- She has had to be forced to rehome pets before due to lack of care, and also not being allowed to keep them in the property. Yet she insists on buying more and more! She says she wants pets, but as I have pointed out, they are a huge responsibility, and just because you WANT a pet, doesn’t mean you would be a good owner.
I feel awful but the last straw came when she once again decided to bugger off for days at a time and leave these animals unattended for 4 days around Easter, whilst she went off gallivanting with other friends. According to her neighbours, the dog barked, whined and scratched the doors all day long, every day. And they commented on how they could smell the stench from passing by her doorway after just one day!
We reported her to the RSPCA, and her neighbours reported her to the HA. I am not yet sure of the outcome, but she knows she has been reported. She’s saying that the RSPCA won’t tell her who it was, but they have real cause for concern, especially as they have been called on her numerous times before and she’s been forced to rehome pets many times before.
She’s angry and upset, claims that she’s not a bad pet owner at all, and people are trying to ruin her life.
I have distanced myself from her, and have not told her it was me as she will definitely fly off the handle, and unfortunately she’s one of those people who knows some quite unsavoury characters, shall we say?
She’s already making threats against the neighbours.
I feel wracked with guilt and questioning whether or not I did do the right thing after all? I am not a coward, but she really will make my life hell if I own up. But I just could not sit back and hear about those poor animals being neglected anymore.
She seems completely deluded that it isn’t neglect? Or am I the delusional one here?
I feel like a terrible friend but those animals were clearly suffering.
Was I completely unreasonable in reporting her?
Again, I ask that you please don’t be rude to me in the replies. This is a genuine question because I’m really struggling with my conscience over this.
Thank you for reading. X