A bill one!

[FreetheKhalo]

This happened last night and it’s playing on my mind. We went for a meal for my Dads birthday, me and DP couldn’t really afford it so he didn’t come and I said he was poorly to lower the cost. My and my sister were paying. There was me, her, her husband, her 4 year old and our Dad. I picked them all up and didn’t drink so that I could drop them off after, all other adults drank, they had 2 bottles of wine between them and 4 beers. The 4 year old had an adults steak costing £22 (and wasted 2/3- just pointing out so you know they didn’t have a cheap kids meal) the others all offered from specials between £19–27 and my sister and her husband had starters. I had an £11 pizza and a sprite.
At the end my sister messaged me saying I’ve been and paid our share if you want to go pay the rest (so Dad wouldn’t try pay). When I got there I was told the amount and said to the waitress “my sister has already paid some” with it being so expensive and she corrected me saying yes this is what’s left. She had paid half of the bill exactly, aibu to ask her to pay a little extra? She knows I’m broke and probably already worked out why DP didn’t really come. I expected they would divide the bill by 5 for the per person cost and me pay for 1.5 people and not 2.5! The amount it cost me I might as well have taken DP.

I would message her and explain. She's being a CF.

Who the fuck orders an adult steak for a 4yo?! That's insane. Yes message her and ask her to reimburse you, she's being really cheeky.

The alcohol should have been paid for by those who were drinking. Then you should have paid for you and half your dad's meal and noone else. She is a CF

YANBU! What a CF.

There's no reason that a FOUR year old needed an adults steak, that's taking the piss. Tell her you want some of the cost reimbursed!

Just to add, DP was made redundant last month with no warning and no payout because he was new to the company. So we couldn’t have planned for it.

You should only be paying for your meal and 1/2 of your dad’s. She should cover all of her family.

I understand not making a scene at the restaurant, but you should address this with her and ask for reimbursement.

I cannot believe they'd had you act as chauffeur so use your fuel so you've already put more money in. And then had you subsidise THEIR OWN FOOD! Huge selfish CFers! Your contribution as the driving and their contribution paying for dad's meal evens out. You've been massively had. It's probably worked out cheaper for them than paying their own. They've paid for 2.5 people instead of 3.

They have been bang out of order but the evening was originally arranged on a 50/50 basis and you weren't clear with them why your dh didn't go. Have you actually told them how stretched you are? Did you say when the wine was ordered "can you pick up most of the tab for that sis as I'm not drinking at all?"

I think you shoukd have been clear beforehand tbh.

Yeah that's pretty outrageous. You should pay for you and half of your dad's meal.

So effectively you paid for you and your Dad and half her meal and she paid for less than her own family?! That is really awful of her.

They know we are stretched because we discussed us missing a couple of bill payments this month. We hadn’t agreed to how we would split the bill.

I would say you should have only paid all of yours and half of your dads food & drink bill.

Totally agree with PP. You pay for you and half your DF

I would message her with faux innocence and tell her the restaurant has made an error/misunderstood and not split your dad's food but rather split the total bill. Obviously you paid to avoid a discussion on money while you were still there so how would she like to reimburse you? Allow her a chance get out of this graciously. She's clearly entering CF territory but this could be rescued.

You definitely don't have to announce to people before you go for dinner that you will not be paying for their dinner and their alcohol. For one thing it would be rude to suggest that they weren't going to pay for their own meals as who goes out to dinner and just assumes other people will pay for their food and alcohol.

I would just message her and say whatever way the bill was worked out was wrong as you have ended up paying for half her family's food and alcohol as well as yours and half of your dad's so can she give you back the £x.

No way !! Your sister is a brat seriously what is she thinking!!! I wouldn’t dream of shafting someone like that!!!

She was probably adding it up as she was ordering, no way would a normal person spend £22 on a steak for a 4yo, but £11 for a kids dinner is OK.

She knew what she was doing.

I agree with telling her that there seems to be some mistake, you were paying for yours and half your dad's.

I think you should have been clearer and said you were paying for yourself, and half the cost of your dads.

Send her an invoice for the taxi.

Absolutely nothing wrong with a child having an adult steak but the parents should pay.

At the end my sister messaged me saying I’ve been and paid our share if you want to go pay the rest (so Dad wouldn’t try pay). When I got there I was told the amount and said to the waitress “my sister has already paid some” with it being so expensive and she corrected me saying yes this is what’s left.

Your sister knew that she was taking the mick. How hard would it have been for her to pay for her family and half of your dad’s if she was insisting on going up to secretly pay her share first? Instead she shafts you by paying exactly half and leaving you to deal with the consequences. You had no choice but to pay the remainder, or cause an awkward scene on your dad’s birthday.

And, she must know that you aren’t flush. Even expecting you to pay for half of her kid’s wasted steak! I’d ask her for the rest of the money.

No, not being unreasonable. When we were younger we used to opt out of buying rounds of drinks and turned down having them bought for us. We couldn't afford to reciprocate so... I can see that there may have been a major misunderstanding here and you should explain to your sister that you just don't have the money to subsidise her meal.

She shouldn’t have had to make it clear, though, should she? The OP is skint, her sister knows that, OP drove and only had a cheap dinner, clearly because she was a bit short. What sort of sister needs to have this stuff spelled out to her?

You need to be clear with her that you will pay for your meal and half your dads. You can’t afford to be a doormat right now.

Thanks for clarifying op. If they know how skint you are and have £22 to spend on steak for a 4 year old then they should have said up front that they would pick up the whole bill because they know you'd do the same for them and clear the way for you both to have gone.

However, tackling it now will likely cause a row but doesn't alter the fact that your sister has been a shocker.