A bill one!

[FreetheKhalo]

This happened last night and it’s playing on my mind. We went for a meal for my Dads birthday, me and DP couldn’t really afford it so he didn’t come and I said he was poorly to lower the cost. My and my sister were paying. There was me, her, her husband, her 4 year old and our Dad. I picked them all up and didn’t drink so that I could drop them off after, all other adults drank, they had 2 bottles of wine between them and 4 beers. The 4 year old had an adults steak costing £22 (and wasted 2/3- just pointing out so you know they didn’t have a cheap kids meal) the others all offered from specials between £19–27 and my sister and her husband had starters. I had an £11 pizza and a sprite.
At the end my sister messaged me saying I’ve been and paid our share if you want to go pay the rest (so Dad wouldn’t try pay). When I got there I was told the amount and said to the waitress “my sister has already paid some” with it being so expensive and she corrected me saying yes this is what’s left. She had paid half of the bill exactly, aibu to ask her to pay a little extra? She knows I’m broke and probably already worked out why DP didn’t really come. I expected they would divide the bill by 5 for the per person cost and me pay for 1.5 people and not 2.5! The amount it cost me I might as well have taken DP.

I don’t agree with the other poster who said your dads unreasonable btw - sounds like he would have tried to pay so didn’t expect you to fund the meal at all. Your family found lovely even if your BIL is clueless and this shows why just talking to people about things instead of stewing over them helps normally.

good luck for your husbands interview

She's been a CF but We hadn’t agreed to how we would split the bill. Money is tight, you've gone out agreeing that you're treating Dad, this was your responsibility to sort. You should have made clear you'd pay half of Dad's only. And she shouldn't have expected you to pay for part of THEIR meals. But you can only be responsible for your actions.

Ah should have read it all before I replied. Your sister is a good un, your BIL, well hopefully he's learnt his lesson

I bet the sister saw this thread.😅

People really need to get in the habit of discussing money more openly. If I'm going out for a group meal I'll happily ask the waitstaff for a separate tab. I don't drink and I don't eat starters or have coffee. I love my friends but I don't won't to pay for other peoples drink.

Well that is a lovely happy ending to read on a Monday morning. Hope that is a good sign for the week.

Fingers crossed for your DP getting the job.

I bet the sister saw this thread.

It never ceases to amaze me how much minute detail people freely give - on a site as popularly known and used as MN - in cases like this where you might think they wouldn't want the main protagonist of potential grand CFery to find out about their thread.

People sit and enjoy many of the public-participation 'flash mob-style' features on Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway, which only work because they know there are millions of people at home watching to hear about them. Super-observant as I am, I've noticed that they never urge viewers to run and sit on a sofa in the middle of their local dockyard or drag their wheelie bin with them before pressing a neighbour's Ring doorbell and shouting a catchphrase on The Sky At Night!! And yet, they will do the same on the website equivalent of A&D SNT and assume almost full anonymity!

Then again, in most cases, it's probably not a bad thing if those involved do find out about it, as it's usually them who have deliberately instigated the awkwardness and/or outrageous behaviour in the first place; the OP (usually) has nothing at all to be ashamed of.

She's been a CF but We hadn’t agreed to how we would split the bill. Money is tight, you've gone out agreeing that you're treating Dad, this was your responsibility to sort. You should have made clear you'd pay half of Dad's only. And she shouldn't have expected you to pay for part of THEIR meals. But you can only be responsible for your actions.

Unless OP's DSis had been under the illusion that she, her DH and child are all somehow also OP's Dad, I think it was very clear. Apart from it being common sense, specifically stating that you will pay for (half of) X's meal carries the clear implication that you won't also be paying for Y's meals - except obviously where Y is yourself, your spouse/partner or your DC.

It's a bit like the advice you hear about writing wills: if you want to unambiguously effectively disinherit somebody who might have expected to benefit, you make sure that you do mention them, but leave them £10 or the dustpan and brush from the cupboard under the stairs - that way, it prevents them from claiming that you must have simply forgotten to mention them and 'clearly assumed' it would be obvious that they should receive an equal share.

You should each have paid what you each had then split your father's bill and you should have clarified this beforehand.

Also, I would have gone up and done just that - paid for what I had, paid for half of dad's bill, then gone back and said what you've done 'if she wants to go and pay the rest'

Be more confident next time. You let yourself get mugged off royally here. Why did you pay it?

Fabulous to see that it has all worked out and that your sister didn’t stick you with an unfair share. I love a happy ending

That's great, what a fab sister you have 😊
Best of luck to your DH with his interview 🤞

I'm still reeling at £22 for steak for a 4 year old.

What does 'CF' mean?

CF = cheeky fucker

Thanks

This.