To buy this to deter people from turning up unannounced?

[HelpfulAlex]

Very lighthearted, but how brilliant is this?! Lol - popped up on my FB feed.

I wouldn’t visit anyone unannounced. I’m perfectly happy for people to drop in on me. 🤷‍♀️

i have distinct memories growing up of having visitors 'drop in' and my mum being annoyed by it, so it really wasn't the done thing 30+ years ago to just appear unannounced/uninvited in our social circles.

So.. i'm not really sure why people are insisting this 'making an appointment' is a moden thing.. and its not about making an appointment, its having the manners to check its convenient, and to give the people you're visiting a heads-up that you're on your way so they can make sure they're in, dressed, and house is presentable.

The only time i ever turn up somewhere unannounced is if i'm just dropping something off and not expecting to be invited in.

I was around in the 1950s when we didn't have even a house phone. The ringing of the doorbell was greeted by my parents groaning "Who the hell's that!" and then switching on hypocritical smiles.
My Mum's cousin used to turn up before 9am on a Sunday and really did get a frosty reception.

I do think that there's no need to visit unannounced these days.

That's where I am with this. It's probably not down to age or anything it's down to personality type really.
I think there's more people on MN than in my RL that don't like answering the door though.

This is not only rude, but pretty damn simplistic too. Why assume people have no friends just because they don’t have open house 24/7?

I don’t like people just ‘popping in’, but even if I did, my closest friend (in terms of distance, not emotional closeness) lives a good 20-minute walk away. For either of us to just ‘pop in’ could mean a wasted round trip of 40 minutes if the other turns out to be out. Why is it somehow less friendly to send a quick message saying ‘Are you around? Fancy a coffee?’

For the record, I rang the friend I mentioned above in a panic the other night because I’d had some awful news. She invited me around immediately, even though (as I later found out) she’d had something else on. I value that kind of friendship way more than I value being able to turn up unannounced because I can’t be arsed to send a simple text.

It feels like on MN people have a lot of folk in their lives who want to see them but who they..... don't like. In laws. Neighbours. "Friends".

Meanwhile in real life, I can't think of any people desperate to pop in whom I don't like. Anyone who knows me well enough to stop by I like, and unless I was literally busy/on way out I'd welcome them. If I was busy I'd just say that!

We moved just far enough away from family that it would be an inconvenience to drive to us and find we’re not home 😂 I would totally buy this, I need warning of “I’m going to drop in and expect you to entertain me and I expect your house to be immaculate” (not looking at you, MIL cough)

I agree with you @OfstedOffred

But as new we have phones, the internet etc why would you possibly think rules from ye olde days would still apply. These days it's considered very rude to barge in on people. People are busy. And tired. And stressed. Respect their boundaries

I was a teenager in the 90s when we didn't have mobile phones and we still wouldn't have been allowed to just drop by unannounced. If we lived within a bike ride of each other we might have knocked on their door and invited them to come out with us but to go to their house took days of arranging because they would have to ask their mum, then invite me over, then I'd go home from school with a date and a time for pick up/when I'd be home, then back to school the next day, tell friend what the verdict was, they'd go home and tell their mum. The only exception to the rule was a teenager who lived on my street because we could run back and forwards home arranging it, if I were allowed tea at their house etc.

I live in the NW so doesn't matter what weather it is when you go out it will probably rain at some point so you always take coat 🤣

However, you can substitute anything for the coat - handbag over the shoulder, shopping bag in hand (coming in = "I'll just pop this away" going out = "Sorry just on the way to do a return before the shop shuts/drop something at a friend's house")

Also, if a friend went out to the car after being told you are going out and just sat there and questioned why you don't come out there's plenty of good reasons - the friend you're meeting is running late so you decided you had time to pop a load of washing in first; you realised you'd forgotten your phone/keys/purse and needed a few minutes to look for them etc etc - but also I'd be wondering why a friend was sitting outside my house waiting for me to come out rather than just getting in their car and leaving. 🤷‍♀️

I live in the NW so doesn't matter what weather it is when you go out it will probably rain at some point so you always take coat

i was in Chester last July it was boiling hot for days and it never rained once. 😄

I guess the 'I'm just going out' act calls for being a very good liar however you need to do it. But saying 'it's not convenient' would be far less trouble and drama without the need for tying yourself in knots with elaborate excuses and props...

Those who think it's okay to pop in without texting first. Would you do it to someone who is wfh or someone who might be/may have been on a night shift

I don't live in the UK and we don't have hoardes of people WFH here, and surely family and friends would know working circumstances and make allowances.

Oh fgs, hate these 'stuck back in the old days' mentality. Your parents were always home, meaning you had nothing better to do than to sit and wait for people to bring some entertainment. I have relatives with this same mindset. People now have busy lives, places to go, both parents working full time and lots more in between. We are not sitting at home twiddling our thumbs, waiting for people to pop by. It's nothing to do with being socially 'weird'.

Oh great, another young person who has no clues! I'm in my 60s, but I can assure you that my parents were not "always home", as they both worked, and when not working - shock, horror - they actually had social lives. And, if you are "not sitting at home twiddling your thumbs" then it won't matter if people call in unannounced as you won't be there!!!

Some people seem to ignore that life has changed from what it was like for when they grew up. Many families have 2 working parents with child/children either at school/nursery. Kids have after school and extracurricular activities. More people also wfh and can’t just get up and have a chat.

I had two working parents - and children did go to school in those days, and believe it or not, they also had after school and extra curricular activities. Some of you have very strange notions about what life used to be like

I don't live in the UK

Are you at least from the UK?
Do you understand that different countries have different cultures and such like?

People in some countries eat outdoors and socialise late into the evenings with the neighbours and friends, that's seen as a normal thing.

People in the UK, Brits especially, are a little more reserved and private and, one, enjoy their social activities on their terms. Meeting at a pub, or a restaurant etc. People just turning up unannounced is often seen as an intrusion and an impolite inconvenience.
I am only speaking from my experience, but my nan, my mum, my uncles and aunts.. all of them would tell tales of people dropping in when they "had nothing in" and it was seen as rude.

Randomly 'popping in' should be a crime. You can pop all you like as long as I know in advance of your popping plan. Otherwise you can pop off again. Pronto.

(But I don't know any popper-ins thank goodness. Or if I do, they have correctly ascertained that we are not a popping-friendly household)

My grandmother (would have been 92 now) would never, ever have accepted people turning up at her door spontaneously. She had a specific room for entertaining and would not have wanted to mix groups of family/friends unless previously considered.

My nan would be 100+ now, she passed 30 years ago though. She had a room for visitors that we as kids were never allowed in.
She kept it immaculate and would air it out if she was expecting visitors. The expensive or home made biscuits would be put on the 'good' plates. And the tea would be brewed in a huge teapot with a picture of swans in blue ink on the sides.

If someone came unannounced, she'd begin fretting and panicking and sending someone the shops to get biscuits in a panic.
Once they left, she'd turn into Catherine Tate's nan..
"Aww well thanks for visiting..." As she closes the door,
"...Cheeky fuckers taking facking liberties..." As she walked to the kitchen...

She sounds just like my Nan! 💕

I don't think you can generalise about ye olden days any more than you can about people now. Growing up, our house was always full of people popping in. Family (aunts, cousins etc) would just let themselves in through the side door. I was forever making people cups of tea. We had no phone until the early 90s, so there was no option to call ahead. I thought this was normal, and was genuinely taken aback to discover that MIL-to-be abhorred the notion of dropping in, and didn't much like prearranged visitors either.
I wouldn't dream of calling in to anyone unannounced these days. But it seems a much lonelier way of life to me.

I don't wfh that was curiosity, from previous threads on here, on my part. I do have a rota, usually 4 (occasionally 5) weeks at a time. This can be given out anytime from 3 weeks to a couple of days in advance. It's different each time and even I have no idea what shifts it will consist of until I get it. Anyone trying to pop into see me is unlikely to find me at home which is why I prefer people to text/phone first. Saves them wasting their time travelling to me in the first place.

I’m enjoying how sure you are despite zero knowledge of scenario you’re discussing. I work from home full time since Covid, but even before that, I used to work from home one day a week and had to constantly remind more than one family member that this was not my ‘day off’.

Growing up we were all
doing the popping in. My mother kept an immaculate home and it was always visitor ready. Thinking about it her friends did too. If someone didn’t want to be disturbed they’d just not answer the door and we’d go away again.