To buy this to deter people from turning up unannounced?

[HelpfulAlex]

Very lighthearted, but how brilliant is this?! Lol - popped up on my FB feed.

Oh fgs, hate these 'stuck back in the old days' mentality. Your parents were always home, meaning you had nothing better to do than to sit and wait for people to bring some entertainment. I have relatives with this same mindset. People now have busy lives, places to go, both parents working full time and lots more in between. We are not sitting at home twiddling our thumbs, waiting for people to pop by. It's nothing to do with being socially 'weird'.

My dad's favourite is to come round on a Sunday morning, early, and knock on the door to get us out of bed.. and then make comments about why we're not out of bed yet.
**
Drives. Me. Mad.

This! Popping in is one thing, the effing judgement of your off-guard self is a whole other level of irritating!

Your voice if you cook for them.
I don't know what that means but I'd cook for them if they wanted if I was already cooking or making food. But yes, if they wanted a takeaway or a KFC they could have that too, it's not a big deal.

Your choice. Teens have their own minds.

But maybe what happened when us oldies were younger shaped how we feel about things now?
My parents weren't always home though, they were hardly in.

Yes, I had two teens. They did indeed have their own minds.

Sparklingbrook

Oh I never considered my self a cool Mum that's for sure. But if they were chatting to me then I'd chat back.

I didn't mean to imply you did.
I said that my mother did, so that influenced how I did things.
And I don't suppose anybody would ignore DCs' friends chatting to them.

I was just replying to your "Oh dear. I must have done parenting wrong" when you obviously hadn't. We all do different things for different reasons and my mother's behaviour obviously influenced mine.

Totally agree. I'm perfectly sociable but MIL regularly just drops in on and evening or weekend, and will stay until the point DH has to ask her to make a move. She's brought guests before, she even tries the door if we don't answer immediately!

It's totally rude and inconsiderate. With young kids and FT jobs we're always busy (not in a good way!). She has nothing on and is just looking for something to do. Calling/texting ahead would take 2 mins. Anyone who'd defend this is the type who'd do it!

I love people dropping by. I feel like my friends view me as family, and see my house as warm and welcoming. I find the doormat rather sad.

I think this is not as complicated or stressful as people make out.

I agree. I don't "pop" round to anyone unannounced, and I only have one friend who does, but it is because she is passing (usually on her way to work), and it is for a quick hello. She doesn't expect to be "entertained".

Sometimes our neighbours knock on the door to say they are going away for a few days and could we put their bins outside on bin collection day. These kind of interractions aren't a problem.

My earlier point was not about visitors who expect to come in and be entertained, but people who never answer the door or phone. I can't imagine how awful someone's anxiety must be to not even be able to do this.

@Sparklingbrook - mine were the same. I never knew how many teens would be in the house when I got home from anywhere. They would constantly invite friends over and not tell me. I had one girl stay for a week as she'd fallen out with her parents - I wasn't given advance notice!

When I lived in a house in a village with my then husband and kids, neighbours who are friends would often knock on their way to / from the shops and they'd always be welcomed in for a cuppa or glass of wine, or dinner if I was cooking it! I liked it.

I lived very close to the childrens primary school and would often have other mums who were friends, inviting themselves in as we walked to my house. Wasn't a problem, I enjoyed the adult company as husband worked long hours, or away (and then permanently when we split but I stayed in the house with the kids for another 9 years) I'd often end up cooking for them and occasionally having kids left with me whilst mum went out on a date! All over ten years ago now.

However, due to divorce, redundancy, kids growing up, I now live on my own half the week and partner is here the other half. It's an out of town flat and no one ever has just dropped by. I miss it.

I've no idea what you mean here.

@LaMarschallin

It is your choice if you get involved with your child's friends. Not the same as someone coming unannounced to spend time with you.

In summer you could be putting your shoes on, or grabbing a bag or sunglasses surely?

An alternative might be to have your bag over your shoulder, as a subtle signal. I mean, you wouldn't normally walk around your house with your bag on your arm unless you were about to leave or had just returned, would you?

Ah, right, thanks for that.
I don't think I've said anything that would imply I disagree with that.

mine were the same. I never knew how many teens would be in the house when I got home from anywhere

Same. I would get home from work and often see extra pairs of shoes were in the shoe rack. Although DD would usually message me at work and ask or let me know.

I wouldn't drop by on my family either - I just find it so rude.

My in-laws live five minutes away and I'd never assume I can just turn up at their house to see them. Likewise, if they turned up at ours without asking, I'd assume there'd been some kind of emergency lol.

I'm perfectly warm and welcoming to visitors but that doesn't mean I'm happy for those visitors to just show up without checking it's okay first. I might be home, but that doesn't mean I want to have an awkward conversation at the door turning people away, or feel like I have to invite them in because they've made the effort to come and see me.

Just because I'm home and have nothing planned, doesn't mean I want people to drop by and see me lol.

OMFG that is absolutely genius! Please convey my admiration to your friend for coming up with this...

When I started wfh, I had people trying to 'pop in' all the time, like I wasn't really working.

It's rude, because life is different these days. When I was a kid, we did pop round and if people were out we accepted it. Life was slower, my mum, and other mums, were around most of the time. And people who popped in generally made their own drinks and didn't expect everything to stop dead just for them.

Now, I work full time, mostly at home. I'm using evenings and weekends to get chores done. Even a text ten minutes ahead can be enough to help me mentally move into "welcome" mode (I'm an introvert.)

But I'm not welcoming to the wazzock who thinks my time is irrelevant and expects me to stop working and give them my whole attention for hours.

That's not what audacity means, so it would irritate me immensely and I would secretly judge whoever it belonged to.

Pizza Wine 🍷

😉

Those who think it's okay to pop in without texting first. Would you do it to someone who is wfh or someone who might be/may have been on a night shift?

Tbh I only find this intrusive behaviour with elderly relatives of that mindset. And they do expect to be entertained, cups of tea and treats, small talk. I have 2 friends that do pop by, but they are usually just hello and I can still get on with what I was doing.

You can have it when your a lonely old lady with no mates