VeneziaGiulia45
RottenInDenmark
They don't know what is right and wrong - the boundaries are blurred for lots of people now, all the kink and bdsm crap. There is no idea of 'sexual morality', it just doesn't exist, neither do the general concepts of what is perverse or deviant, this language is just disappearing.
I was part of the sex positivity several years ago, and the reasons I moved in those circles ended up being the reasons I left.
I became part of it because I didn't understand quite how violated I'd been as a child, and I was looking for something to heal me.
What I didn't realise back then was that a) what I was really seeking out was the original wound, ie. the abuse, and b) that when you work on the fringe of what is acceptable, it attracts people who are also wounded. This is all hidden - even from many of the protagonists themselves - by a sense of specialness conferred by being edgy and out of the ordinary.
The problem is that these fringe areas weren't regulated, and managed to find their way into the mainstream because there was no regulatory framework that recognised them. My particular field of work (which was exclusively for adults) was a "legal grey area" inasmuch as no current laws had ever factored it in.
This is how things like this gain traction. They are a novelty; they garner interest; because the pool of participants is small, 'experts' are made relatively quickly. There are no governing bodies outside the industries themselves. They are accountable only to each other.
The plain truth of the matter is that many "healing paradigms" (because that's what they see themselves as) attract wounded healers, who end up perpetuating abusive patterns. There is little to no psychological training in any of these approaches; scant recognition of psychological trauma or how to deal with it; no cognisance of unconscious motives and their power to wreak destruction.
I can see very clearly how this happened, and what we're up against here is not only a kind of mob mentality, but also an inability of that mob to reflect on their own damaged-ness or on the very real risks inherent in damaging others in the name of "sexual liberation". It is a fucking mess.
(Name-changed. I've been here for many years.)
Wonderfully put. Also, I'm so sorry for what you went through.
I agree. Wonderfully put. What you are talking about here is so nuanced and based in knowledge. Unfortunately there seems to be no will for regulation to stop this tide of socially accepted grooming in plain sight which goes by the name of inclusivity and education.
Whenever objections to it are reported the implication often seems to be that the objectors are bigots.