Asking someone to move seats on a flight? Aibu ?

[wearejustfriends]

Last week I was travelling to Gran Canaria with TUI.
I had booked mine and boyfriends seats when we booked and paid £22 for both.
I had the window and he had the middle.

A lady sat on the end and her daughter was in front.
She asked could they have our two seats and we have hers /daughters or my boyfriend switch with her daughter.
I politely said no.
Which she wasn't happy about.
We got "what difference does it make"
"Your adults,my daughter is sacred of flying and is a minor"

Anyway we wouldn't move.

Was I in the wrong ?
Surely if she was that bothered she could have paid like us.

🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟

ZOMBIE

And as long as people keep on doing this, these chancers will keep expecting everyone else to accommodate their lack of willingness to fork out a booking fee. The immoral nature of the standard airlines in adopting the budget model of a seat selection fee on top of their more expensive ticket prices is a sideways point.

I don't thank you for it. It's a nuisance and an inconvenience to other passengers. As an occasional lone female flyer it's beyond tedious to be expected to shift around to suit other people's convenience, as is now happening with increasing frequency.

I want the aisle seat. I've had a broken spine and blood clotting issues from the surgery I had to fix that fracture. I need to be able to move around frequently. But I'm not about to divulge my medical circumstances to presumptuous strangers. Nor, every few times I board a flight as a solo-traveller, do I expect an unedifying haggle over the seat I paid for.

You are not being kind.

Yes. But still relevant. The media are making a fuss about this quite often this summer, but I've been finding this an increasing problem over the last few years.

Dh and I are travelling to canaries next summer with DD, her husband and two teens. Because we want specific seating we have already booked our seat. Dh is talk, aged 70 and has a herniated disc. I have a long term shoulder injury and DD is overweight and embarrassed to take up room with people not in our party. So ...we have booked accordingly. We have the last row of 3 extra leg room seats for me, DH and DD. Her husband and daughter are nervous fliers. They and don are booked into the first row of standard leg room seats behind us. We have very valid reasons for our choices and have paid quite a lot to get our various needs met. None of our issues are visible so anyone asking to swop does not see herniated discs or nervous passengers...just people they think should move for their convenience. People know the airlines interpret child and adult together loosely so if that is an issue noone should be chancing it when it involves their previous child then relying on a stranger to save the day. If any one of our booked six seats were to be given up it would be an problematic.
It is not selfish to expect to have something you have planned for and paid for. It is very selfish not to pay and expect a random stranger to lose out instead.

She would reasonably have expected her 9-11 yo to be sat with her without paying extra. I think it was mean not to move seats to be honest. Not unreasonable, it's your right not to, but definitely not considerate.

I was on a train recently where there were seats diagonally opposite, but neither person wanted to move so that 4yo DS could sit next to or opposite me. So I sat him on my lap, which was much more uncomfortable for all 4, getting me lots of glares from the pair. Genuinely no idea why they would prefer to inconvenience themselves than shift over one seat, but they very clearly felt I was the unreasonable one for using an empty seat. I guess some people don't realise children might be uncomfortable being seated only with a stranger.

You also forgot to take into consideration that not everyone shares your opinion either. You only have to read this very long thread. Illiteracy has nothing to do with it but here you are being the big man swooping in to tell us women off for not thinking of the child(ren). You really have no idea do you? 🤔

"Sorry, no thank you. I paid extra to get the seats I wanted."

End of discussion.

The "scared of flying DD" stinks of BS to me. She was just trying to think of a "tug the heartstrings" excuse to get them seats together. If DD was actually scared, mum would have done what you did, and paid the extra to ensure seats together.

I've flown with TUI a number of times myself, and always pay extra to get a window seat in a decent spot. ie: not right by the loos!

And what do most adults need in a 10kg cabin bag for a 2 hour flight when they’ve checked in 23kg each?

I tend to have a 10kg cabin bag for a two week holiday, and no checked-in luggage at all.

I always pay for an aisle seat too. I wouldn’t move for anyone

After a recent flight I’d like to ask that beeping games are silent on night flights. So irritating

A few of us did end up asking in the end

🧟‍♂️

She may have expected it, but reading the small print would have disabused her of that notion. However honest the mistake, it doesn’t make it OP’s problem to solve.

OP and partner paid extra for their seats, of course they’re not inconsiderate or unreasonable to not move.

There's no way I'd have split my seats if I'd paid for them to be together. She had an aisle and her daughter was right in front of her - that's close enough to be able to reach over and give her a reassuring shoulder squeeze during take off, then her DD could spin round in her seat after takeoff.

Or cheekily say "I paid £40 so we could sit together, if you want to give me £40 now for them you can have them" (but then I'm not afraid of flying).

DH and I sat separately on a flight once, with him behind me, and I would never put myself in that position again. DH is a talker, so each time I turned around he'd tap me on the shoulder to get my attention again.

At the end of a 9 hour flight I could have quite happily ripped that finger off!

I wouldn’t move and I wouldn’t feel remotely guilty either

why does the mother think you’d be willing to literally just pour money down the drain?!

nah, especially not in today’s financial climate

I wouldn't move, and if someone started giving me grief about it I would ask the cabin crew to step in and deal with it. If I have selected my seats (either through airline status or paying) I'm not moving for someone else who hasn't. There seems to be a spate of articles in the news about entitled CFs thinking everyone else should bow to their special status as parents on flights and move (usually requiring person to move to a less pleasant seat either in the middle or further back) and kicking off when people decline. I do appreciate flying with children is not the easiest, but that still doesn't entitle people to demand you swap seats with them. And like everyone has said, if you needed to pay to reserve seats together and she knew her daughter was scared of flying then that's what she should have done.

How would you know if someone had paid for seats unless you asked? I never pay for seating and would happily swap a shit middle row seat for an aisle if someone wanted it.

The only seating arrangement I find annoying is where people buy a window and an aisle ( hoping they are more likely to get a free seat in between and I get stuck in the middle of their conversations/book swapping etc.

Why would anyone need to know whether or not their fellow-passengers had paid to reserve their seats? That's entirely their business and none of mine, unless they happen to be sitting in the seat I've booked.

The latter comparison is a different situation. Oddly enough I've rarely if ever seen the middle seat become hotly contested territory. People who use this booking technique - usually in a row of three - are genuinely well aware that's the risk they're taking: it's a well-known travellers' hack. Then, if the middle becomes occupied, they will often offer that passenger their own choice of window or aisle seat in its stead.

I'll bite their hands off on those occasions, because what I'm being offered is a more comfortable upgrade on what I currently have. The CF parents have an overwhelming tendency to offer an inferior seat in exchange (funny, that) and seem to have no compunction about getting angsty with those who don't immediately capitulate.

Nowadays, unless the crew offers me a concession or explains there is a real safety issue, any expectation that I'll meekly cede over my preferred seat to some presumptuous stranger will now be met with an emphatic 'no'. And any in-flight awkwardness for maintaining this stance is not going to be felt by me. This thread serves as a timely reminder: never forget to bring noise-cancelling earphones, an eyemask, and earplugs ...

"Commenting on an old mumsnet thread" I can comment on whatever I wish. Several old threads in different forum sites have new replies, why is this one any different.

"Randomly announcing that you are a childless man and then speaking on behalf of a little girl" sorry I was advocating for a child, or not. I was just stating that since I am new, and since this is majorly a site for mothers and parents. I wanted to give my stance that is all. I was not trying to rub anything in, I was not trying to better myself to anyone here, but I will say this, since many of the mothers have degraded me all because I said that, when I have children someday I will be proud to call myself a father and not ever a mother. You should be criticizing the op for sounding like a b word for being apathetic towards a child, I can understand being frustrated with the mother, but the child, the child was innocent in the situation, and since the op stated herself that she too gets frightened when planes take off she should have understood how the child felt, but I guess not everyone can show compassion nowadays, not even to a defenseless thing like a child.

Thank you!

You should be criticizing the op for sounding like a b word for being apathetic towards a child

I’m criticising you for thinking it acceptable to use that word in relation to a woman simply for not having an interest in someone else’s child. Both the slur and the criticism are steeped in misogyny and as a man I’d suggest you go away and read up on this before opening your mouth on the topic again.

The child was in front of her mother, not the other end of the plane! As far as I'm aware that counts as 'sitting with' to the airlines.

I don't like flying and so pay to make sure I'm sitting next to DH. I certainly wouldn't be giving up the seat to someone else. If the child is that scared of flying it's down to the parent to make sure they are sitting next to them.

@Moviemusic1984 are you addressing your literacy issues?

I was briefly stating that I think while it was justifiable that the original poster did that to the mother, she still should have been compassionate since the matter was in dealt with a ten year old child. It is not that much to ask and the fact that many of the mothers here sided with the original poster baffles me since it is at the expense of an innocent ten year old child.

Again @Moviemusic1984 are you addressing your literacy issues?