Asking someone to move seats on a flight? Aibu ?

[wearejustfriends]

Last week I was travelling to Gran Canaria with TUI.
I had booked mine and boyfriends seats when we booked and paid £22 for both.
I had the window and he had the middle.

A lady sat on the end and her daughter was in front.
She asked could they have our two seats and we have hers /daughters or my boyfriend switch with her daughter.
I politely said no.
Which she wasn't happy about.
We got "what difference does it make"
"Your adults,my daughter is sacred of flying and is a minor"

Anyway we wouldn't move.

Was I in the wrong ?
Surely if she was that bothered she could have paid like us.

I've always understood that it was a legal requirement for children (under 12?) to sit with a parent / carer, so we never paid for it when our DC were younger. I wasn't willing to pay for something the airlines required to provide

More thread drift ... but @abc4321 I hope you got at least a partial refund on the difference in cost between Business and Economy. You weren't getting what you paid for in Business: more space, more privacy, more quiet. Personally, I never think Business is worth it for European flights. But it is worth it for anything 8 hours or more, unless of course you didn't get what you paid for ...

You value money and the entitlements it gives you more than a stranger's child's feelings

And the parent values money and entitlements more than her own child’s feelings. But for some reason it’s the op you’d like to feel bad.

You told her you had paid for the seats and she said "what difference does it make" just that, you PAID FOR THEM with the expectation of sitting together. Husband and I always pay for that privilege, I think I'd have replied "so you are expecting me to give up seats I've paid for so you can have them for free" I sympathise with the anxious child, I don't like flying either, but she, the mother, was being unreasonable, she should have paid for two seats together.

Years ago, I had booked an activity holiday and arrived early to check in to get a window seat (looking forward to an interesting approach and landing at the destination). I was sat next to mum and teenage boy and dad was just across the aisle. Dad asked if I’d swap so they could all sit in the same row but I explained that I’d deliberately checked in early for a window seat and I’d rather not swap, and they were all fine about it. Whilst I did feel slightly awkward about it I thought fuck it, I’ll never see them again.

Guess who turned up on the same holiday (fortunately they were nice people and it wasn’t a problem).

I often get asked if I’ll move. I always say no.

I fly 2-3 times a month, usually alone. I always book a window, as I’m usually flying overnight and heading straight to work

I don’t really care if you want to sit as a family, or your child would like a window, or you really want to sit with your boyfriend and you’ve been places 4 rows apart on your first trip together (yes, I’ve had that one and when I refused, I ‘accidentally’ got 2
Glasses of red wine spilt on me during the flight).

I chose my seat. I paid for my seat. You could have done the same. You had the same opportunity to ensure you had the seat you wanted, just like i did.

I also don’t care if they think I’m being an arse.

On a flight I was on recently some people had messed up and booked the aisle and the window seat in a row of three. The woman in between them offered to swap, but the flight attendant said they couldn’t.

No way I would have changed my seat. I am fussy about my seats, on trains and on planes.

She could have paid to sit next to her daughter if she thought it was such a big deal.

@Labscollie

1. Her daughter's fear of flying isn't your problem

1. Her sense of entitlement, when she didn't get her own way, validated your initial response.

This!

Good that you said no. CF.
And nonsense to all this kindness stuff. Too many people take advantage.

@Boood

On a flight I was on recently some people had messed up and booked the aisle and the window seat in a row of three. The woman in between them offered to swap, but the flight attendant said they couldn’t.

Call me cynical, but they possibly didn’t ‘mess up’. It’s not uncommon for couples to check in as window and aisle seat hoping the flight isn’t full and the middle seat will remain free for the flight. With ‘oh dear. Could we possibly swap’ (and the aisle seat being better than a seat between two halves of a couple) being their back up plan.

I was in a similar situation last year. I'm a regular traveller on Ryanair to and from the UK, and always book the aisle seat on the last row, so I'm one of the first off and through customs. The queues are pretty slow on the way back.

On this flight I was sitting next to a youngish man, and his son in the window seat. Up comes the mother and asks me to swap, as her son 'wasn't well'. I asked what row she was on, and it was right in the middle of the plane. As the son was sitting next to his dad, I refused. I could have suggested she swap with the dad, but didn't think fast enough.

So I got a very frosty flight with father and son, who was fine for the whole flight.

but were you sat in the fly seat?

@MarshaBradyo

You value money and the entitlements it gives you more than a stranger's child's feelings

And the parent values money and entitlements more than her own child’s feelings. But for some reason it’s the op you’d like to feel bad.

Exactly. Mom could've forked out for assigned seats.

@notanothertakeaway I think you have misunderstood the guidance. Airlines should (not must..) try to seat children near accompanying adults. Near doesn't mean next to though.

Lol, obviously YANBU

YANBU. I always pay for seats to make sure my kids sit next to me and while it may have been ok to ask if you’d consider changing seats, she certainly shouldn’t have expected you to be ok with it since you’ve paid to sit together. It’s crazy that she got upset at that. She is the unreasonable one for not booking seats together if she’s got a child that scared of flying!

If the kid actually was scared (rather than mum just trying to get her own way at any cost), then what a shitty thing to do - mum is happy book a holiday that involves a flight but can’t be arsed paying to book seats together. Crap parenting by the mother.

She sounds like someone who thinks she should always get her own way.

Her poor kid was probably delighted to have a couple of hours peace away from her.

Tbh I don't even think she was nervous.
I couldn't really see what she was doing but the mum rarely moved to check on her.

They do generally sit children with parents she must have been an older child.

Having been in the situation of having to have on plane musical seats so I could sit with my toddler in the past*, it’s embarrassing. And you feel awful for inconveniencing people. So you’d ask extremely apologetically and be gracious if people said no. I didn’t have to do the asking for the reasons outlined below. These days I make sure I have made arrangements to sit with the people I’m travelling with.

• this was 20 years ago before paying for seats was a thing. It happened to me twice. I was flying BA with a connection in London from a uk regional airport to Ghana the first time. And to Sudan the next. There was no online check in available and it was just whatever you got when you turned up to check in. So the BA system should have automatically seated my toddler next to me. But it put him halfway across the plane away. BA’s solution was to have the cabin crew try to figure something out on the plane. It was horrendous.

I wouldn’t have moved either. If she was that bothered she could have paid £22 and booked specific seats. YANBU

@notanothertakeaway

I've always understood that it was a legal requirement for children (under 12?) to sit with a parent / carer, so we never paid for it when our DC were younger. I wasn't willing to pay for something the airlines required to provide

@notanothertakeaway that’s not the case. We were once travelling transatlantic with DC aged 3 and were late checking in because our connecting flight was late, in the days before online check-ins. They gave us seats on 3 different rows! Luckily someone swapped on the plane, because face it - who’d want to sit with someone else’s 3 year old for 8 hours?!

YANBU
I am still annoyed with myself for allowing me to be walked over after paying and reserving 4 seats so we as a family could sit together.

When we got to our reserved seats a couple and their baby had sat in the window and middle seat (our reserved seats) as they ‘could not be separated as they had a baby’
But they denied knowledge of fact you could reserve and pay for your seats. Apparently never heard of it ! CFs.

Instead of making scene in front of everyone we accepted the air hostess who had no intention of moving them anyway find us 2 other seats, therefore splitting us all up.
I was the one left sitting next to them getting more annoyed for the flight.

Never again will I accept that. people just take the … and save themselves money whilst putting other people out and costing them money.

YANBU. Tui clearly state that a child may be placed in front of, behind or across the aisle from their parent.

I wouldn't have moved OP. If sitting together was that important, she should have paid extra for the seats.

You value money and the entitlements it gives you more than a stranger's child's feelings. The privilege is all yours. Own it.

So why does the mother not value her child's feelings and pay for set seats? My responsibility is for myself, not someone else's child. They have their parents to take responsibility.