Or is this not how anyone does washing?!

[Sofiegiraffe]

Who is BU here, me or DP?

When I put a wash load in the machine, I pick up each item individually and sort of make a mental note of it so I have a rough idea of what is going into the machine (in case anyone asks where an item of their clothing is, or in case I'm wondering "where's that pair of black trousers of mine?", for example).

DP claims to just "pick up a load of stuff and shove it in". He doesn't put them in one by one. So if it's a darks wash that he's put on, and I ask "are my black trousers in that wash?" or "is DD's pink dress in that colours wash by any chance?", he won't know. All he knows is that he shoved a load of dark or coloured stuff in.

He thinks that's a perfectly reasonable way to do the washing. I think surely no one else does this? Surely most people look at what they're putting in so they at least have a rough idea of what's going in?!

Who is BU? Please settle this once and for all!

I usually have a good idea of what I've just washed but not 100% if they aren't my clothes. Unless I'm doing a specific wash like uniform as I want to make sure it is all washed.

why bother?
I'm dressed when I put it in the machine, it will only be in there for an hour, so I am not likely to want to get changed - and I know what I've worn in the last week/since whenever I last did the washing anyway.

I think the assumption when people say they shove stuff into the machine is that these are previously sorted loads. Anything requiring special attention / whites etc have already been dealt with.
Yes, I don't put merino jumpers in the wash bag to start with. If they need washing (not often as I always wear them over a top) then I will put the whole wash on to suit the jumper. White shirts are easily identified and put to one side while still not paying attention to specific other items. The rest of our clothing doesn't need any special treatment.

I think the assumption when people say they shove stuff into the machine is that these are previously sorted loads. Anything requiring special attention / whites etc have already been dealt with

Nope, not here. All just gets put in together. Darks/whites - never, ever separated them and all good. I don’t think I have ever looked at washing instructions on anything, it all just goes in on the one hour setting - I couldn’t even tell you what temperature that is.

Life’s too short to be sorting though washing or giving it too much thought.

That said, all our clothes are just cheap crap from supermarkets or or primark so nothing special.

And what do you do if you only have a couple of white things? Wait weeks for more white clothes or just wash two bits together?

And what do you do if you only have a couple of white things? Wait weeks for more white clothes or just wash two bits together?
I put them in with the towels and bedding wash rather than the clothes wash. That's not white but not dark, greys/blues and all well washed. All other clothes go in together.

Oh yes ok now I've read more posts, when I put a wash on, I don't just do it randomly, unless I'm trying to get caught up. Like yesterday I noticed DS2 was running low on pants so I thought I'd better put a coloured wash on, I started in their washing basket and grabbed all the pants and trousers first.

And no I never wash everything in the washing basket at once who is that organised to be caught up on the washing at all times?

And no I never wash everything in the washing basket at oncewho is that organised to be caught up on the washing at all times?
Depends on family size. There's only me and a teen so doesn't take much organisation to put a clothes wash on a week. Only white shirts are left to go in with towels.

I don't have anything that is hand wash only, wool etc -it's too much hassle and would get ruined. I don't have anything not dishwasher safe either.

I do separate whites because they go grey otherwise. I never thought this was the case because my mum doesn't separate them, but then I compared brand new clothes to clothes I'd had for a few years and realised it does matter. DH doesn't believe me when when I showed him, so I got him some colour catchers and he uses those if he puts a wash on.

I was never caught up on the washing even when it was just me and ds1.

I never get caught up on the washing. There is always something in the bottom of the basket.

I'm vaguely aware of what's in there but I don't go item by item. I just say I'm doing a dark or light wash and expect it to be put near the machine. Things don't sit there for long and I'm aware when sports kits must be done etc so make sure they are.

@Sofiegiraffe

"Who on earth has the time for this"?

Repeatedly.

Despite me saying (repeatedly): it takes NO extra time. It's a natural thing that I just do without really applying conscious effort.

It has to take longer loading everything individually rather than shoving it in. My method, shout at dc in putting a whites wash on, empty the whites from the laundry basket ensuring work blouse\ school shirts are in the pile and then kids will come with anything still in their rooms that needs to go in. Shove it all in the machine ( 11\2 hours max 3 hours seems way to long) and jobs a goodun!

Colours/darks
Whites
Towels/bedding

Three types of wash just pick a load of clothes up. I do the first two on 30 so don't need to check labels and none of our day to day clothes require dry cleaning.

Surely it's either in wash, drying or hung up. I feel it would be quicker to check round for the occasional random lost item than keep a mental itinerary of the washing in your head at all times.

@Sofiegiraffe

Equals ..... another thing for Sofie to add her ever expanding mental load of everything she has to remember for the family. Instead of DP being able to tell me, as I would him, "yep, they're there".

Ah, this is what people mean by the trauma of mental load!?!

We have enough clothes for everyone to last at least a week, while the laundry gets fully cleared every few days. For example, DS has 6 pairs of nursery joggers and tops plus tons of vests, pants, socks. I don't need to remember to track each individual sock through the laundry; everything is clean in the drawers, on the lines, or they're not clean so choose something else. If people are hanging on for a particular item then that suggests either they don't have enough clothes of a particular type, or the family are really behind on laundry.

In general, I’ll separate colours and shove everything in without checking. But, if the washing basket it overflowing and I need specific things, like work trousers, dc uniform etc, I will sort through and prioritise those items first. In this case, I know what’s in the machine.

“ I sometimes leave a tissue in a pocket and nothing bad happens, it just comes out still in the pocket but in a soggy lump

Is my washing machine doing something different to yours? What's meant to happen?”

It’s usually ok if it is a purpose-made tissue. It’s toilet paper that’s a disintegrated disaster.

Separate the colours, then shove it in making sure I check my pockets as it’s me that leaves the annoying tissue in a pocket.

Have recently invested in some pop up laundry baskets and have dedicated lights, darks, and delicates. A full one is approximately a good size load for our machine so my new method is a bit quicker to get in the machine and more eco friendly as always doing a full wash now but there’s only the two of us.

Same.

Sorry, that was to @AchillesPoirot!

OP's method simply doesn’t scale up. And the resulting mental load is mostly useless.

It strikes me as how a person living on their own might do their laundry, if they have too much time on their hands (probably also irons pants?)

To do things at scale, the workflow is:

1. put dirty clothes in washing basket 1.a) optional: have separate baskets so things are sorted by colour, temperature (delicates, towels, etc.), item type (uniforms, PE kits, etc.), owner, ... whatever categories make sense for your household
2. empty washing basket into washing machine and do a wash 2.a) optional: if things weren't sorted already, you may want to sort them there and then, typically by broad categories (e.g. light/dark/etc.), not individual items.
3. take load out and proceed to dry it by whatever means necessary 3.a) optional: some sorting might be required when dealing with a mixed load, to make sure items which can't go in the tumble dryer end up on the clothesline instead
4. optional: iron what you can, if you can be bothered...
5. sort (e.g. pair socks), fold and store dried laundry into relevant drawers/wardrobes/etc. 5.a) optional: speed up sorting by having every member of the household working on it in parallel

Some kind of sorting by relevant categories is required, at one stage or another (if only because pants ultimately don't live in the same drawer as tea towels), but remembering the exact status of individual items is entirely irrelevant, unless it's a delicate that requires extremely personalised care (= a category of its own)

If a particular item is not in its permanent, clean-state container, then it is somewhere in the laundry workflow, and will come out when it's ready...
If the item is somehow needed urgently:

1. check the final sorting basket, it may be ready already
2. check the clothesline, it may be drying
3. check the washing basket, it may need prioritising for next wash
4. check what comes out of the washing machine or dryer when the cycle finishes

But in reality, current status really doesn't matter that much: it will be ready when it's ready. There really isn't much you can do to speed up the process. Just make sure you keep the laundry workflow running, and have enough clothes to last you in the time it takes to do a full cycle.

Knowledge is only power if you can act on it. Unactionable information is just noise. Not a good use of your time or brain-space. No cost-effective.

My daughter asked where a top was the other day. I said, 'it may be in the washing because there is a dark load on'. That is my extent of knowing what is in a wash. It's thrown in without looking. I am with your husband!

@RobotValkyrie

OP's method simply doesn’t scale up. And the resulting mental load is mostly useless.

It strikes me as how a person living on their own might do their laundry, if they have too much time on their hands (probably also irons pants?)

To do things at scale, the workflow is:

1. put dirty clothes in washing basket 1.a) optional: have separate baskets so things are sorted by colour, temperature (delicates, towels, etc.), item type (uniforms, PE kits, etc.), owner, ... whatever categories make sense for your household
2. empty washing basket into washing machine and do a wash 2.a) optional: if things weren't sorted already, you may want to sort them there and then, typically by broad categories (e.g. light/dark/etc.), not individual items.
3. take load out and proceed to dry it by whatever means necessary 3.a) optional: some sorting might be required when dealing with a mixed load, to make sure items which can't go in the tumble dryer end up on the clothesline instead
4. optional: iron what you can, if you can be bothered...
5. sort (e.g. pair socks), fold and store dried laundry into relevant drawers/wardrobes/etc. 5.a) optional: speed up sorting by having every member of the household working on it in parallel

Some kind of sorting by relevant categories is required, at one stage or another (if only because pants ultimately don't live in the same drawer as tea towels), but remembering the exact status of individual items is entirely irrelevant, unless it's a delicate that requires extremely personalised care (= a category of its own)

If a particular item is not in its permanent, clean-state container, then it is somewhere in the laundry workflow, and will come out when it's ready...
If the item is somehow needed urgently:

1. check the final sorting basket, it may be ready already
2. check the clothesline, it may be drying
3. check the washing basket, it may need prioritising for next wash
4. check what comes out of the washing machine or dryer when the cycle finishes

But in reality, current status really doesn't matter that much: it will be ready when it's ready. There really isn't much you can do to speed up the process. Just make sure you keep the laundry workflow running, and have enough clothes to last you in the time it takes to do a full cycle.

Knowledge is only power if you can act on it. Unactionable information is just noise. Not a good use of your time or brain-space. No cost-effective.

I can act on the knowledge, that's the whole point.

If DP says "no sorry, that item didn't make it into the load I've just put in", then I can make a mental not to go and sort it myself when that load is finished in 3 hours. That is: "must put another darks wash on with those trousers in next". I have a 1 year old. My brain is fried and occupied much of the time. It's another thing to add to my own "to do" list.

So yes, it's useful. Albeit annoying.

@FrangipaniBlue

I don't consciously make notes *@Sofiegiraffe* but on some level I must do it subconsciously because if anyone ever asks "where's my..... X" I could tell them whether it's in the machine, hung out to dry, or folded waiting to be put away!!

Yep. It's a subconscious thing for me too.

@Svara

And what do you do if you only have a couple of white things? Wait weeks for more white clothes or just wash two bits together? I put them in with the towels and bedding wash rather than the clothes wash. That's not white but not dark, greys/blues and all well washed. All other clothes go in together.

Ah, see I don’t separate towels and bedding either!