Or is this not how anyone does washing?!

[Sofiegiraffe]

Who is BU here, me or DP?

When I put a wash load in the machine, I pick up each item individually and sort of make a mental note of it so I have a rough idea of what is going into the machine (in case anyone asks where an item of their clothing is, or in case I'm wondering "where's that pair of black trousers of mine?", for example).

DP claims to just "pick up a load of stuff and shove it in". He doesn't put them in one by one. So if it's a darks wash that he's put on, and I ask "are my black trousers in that wash?" or "is DD's pink dress in that colours wash by any chance?", he won't know. All he knows is that he shoved a load of dark or coloured stuff in.

He thinks that's a perfectly reasonable way to do the washing. I think surely no one else does this? Surely most people look at what they're putting in so they at least have a rough idea of what's going in?!

Who is BU? Please settle this once and for all!

I separate colours and shove it in. It’s only in for an hour anyway.

My point was for those who have a full week of clothes.

Clothing costs are generally a lot lower these days thankfully, so hopefully most people can afford enough trousers. Our school allow joggers from the supermarket of your choice (£6 for a pair), second-hand uniform sales have most trousers and tops at £1 or £2-£5 for jumpers/coats that aren't washed as often, each year they do a uniform give-away when they have too much stuff, plus neighbours hand clothes on through the road. 6 trousers, 6 tops, 3 jumpers, 1 coat, 2 PE T-shirt and 2 shorts = £40-£60 for a whole year versus £30-40 to have no spares and have to run half washes to keep on top of laundry; the extra electricity cost would wind up higher than getting a few secondhand items to see you through the week. Appreciate secondary might be more expensive uniform, though hopefully they don't come home covered in paint and mud every day at secondary (do they?).

Secondary blazer was £££. Trousers. From one shop. £45. Skirt similar. Jumper. Two different ones. A shitty cheap one that washed shite or a dear one (£38 iirc). Shirts always from Tesco Asda or similar.

The only time I know what's in the washing machine is when I wash my kids or husbands uniform and thats only because I do them separately to everything else.
Other than that just bung darks or lights in.

At primary I still couldn’t afford enough changes for a change per day. I got a uniform grant from the council and I had to make it stretch. No 2 and 3 got one new jumper. Maybe 2. But I handed stuff down.

Didn’t know anyone in the area to get any extra hand me downs and the school didn’t do a second hand shop either

@RedskyThisNight the mental load is real! I'm a SAHM / housewife by choice to a family of 6, I think I need a PA some days 🤣

What? no way! I just put it all in, unless I specifically want something cleaned in that wash for tomorrow or I’m making sure all the uniform goes through or something. I don’t need to catalogue my washing! If you put in in the wash and it isn’t drying yet, it’s on the way through. Wait an hour and bloody look!!

I think I’m like you OP … If I had lots of whites I would put my husbands work shirts in as a priority. Or separate his gym stuff from my clothes. Or perhaps make sure a certain outfit for the baby is in the wash. So I would always know vaguely what’s in the washing machine as there is a reason it’s in there as opposed to what’s left in the washing basket. I think people are overreacting on this thread haha

5 sets per child here. Just realized that's 20 of each item 😱 M and s often do 20percent off which make it good value. Sainsbury's is good quality too.

Thank goodness primary don't do all that. I wonder if secondaries will ditch blazers soon, with cost of living rising it looks like an unnecessary extra. My secondary school had expensive uniform, but at least half of us just got our jumpers, skirts and shirts from supermarkets and school didn't complain. It seems unfair to demand such huge expense for parents, it's out of sync with normal clothing costs.

Definitely shove. Don't even sort by colour.

@UnadulteratedCat

Big arm full of darks here too. No time to give a fuck where everyone’s pants or tops are.

Yep, 100% this. Life is too short to worry about exactly where a specific pair of socks is.

I wonder if secondaries will ditch blazers soon, with cost of living rising it looks like an unnecessary extra.

My Year 11 DD is still wearing the same blazer she started secondary school with. So we got our money's worth :) (although I am a bit worried that it may not last the next 8 weeks). she doesn't have a jumper though, so I guess she needs something for warmth. And blazers have lots of pockets to put things.

A cursory mental
Note as my DD is usually looking for something.
I buy colour catcher sheets and drummed it into my DH head to put into every wash as he just shoves everything in 🤯
He's been screamed at enough by me to leave my stuff out of the rumble dryer -- the amount of stuff I've had that's ruined or shrunk to child's size is beyond ridiculous - everything goes on cupboard dry super hot 😵‍💫

I put things in individually because we're all (well, me and the kid) always covered in stuff. Mud, food, dog slobber, whatever. I want to make sure that things aren't rolled up inside themselves and get a decent chance at being actually clean. Maybe that's bonkers. But out of sight out of mind - unless there's a specific thing i need washing that I've deliberately put in, once that door's closed I have no idea what's in there. Too many washloads, not enough fucks.

I’m sort of with your husband. I stuff things in, but tend to make sure certain items I know we both need for work get washed.

However, my DP knows exactly what he’s washed and how it needs drying. He has different kit for long runs, interval sessions etc and catalogues washing like a hawk! He also picks out key work clothes for us both if he washes.

You aren’t a freak OP!

@DaphneeBridgerton

I think I’m like you OP … If I had lots of whites I would put my husbands work shirts in as a priority. Or separate his gym stuff from my clothes. Or perhaps make sure a certain outfit for the baby is in the wash. So I would always know vaguely what’s in the washing machine as there is a reason it’s in there as opposed to what’s left in the washing basket. I think people are overreacting on this thread haha

I agree.

At the moment you seem to have a system of clothes randomly spread between 3 baskets and in the washing machine. So it's no wonder you need to make mental notes about what's where.

Yes this seems to my problem. 🙈

I think you just need either a massively simpler system, or more clothes. You've got to a point where you are cross that your husband isn't memorizing what's in the machine because you insist that's the route that takes less mental effort - surely you can see that's crazy?! We also both work, have two tiny children and I don't expend as much mental energy on laundry in a year as you seem to have expended yesterday!

Hello OP.
Does your washing machine have a quicker wash cycle? 3 hours is a very long time.

I use the organised mum method where you do one lot of laundry every day, rather than when it piles up. So if I was doing a dark wash for example, I would be able to fit all the dark washing in because it would only be a few days since I last did a dark wash.

YANBU btw, I know what’s in the washing machine at all times. I wouldn’t expect my DP to know though, his brain doesn’t work in the same way as mine.

I definitely don't make mental notes of what's going into a wash! I do sort through the items just to make sure I haven't put something in that shouldn't be there (white in with coloureds, etc), and check all pockets for items, but other than that, I do not give my brain an extra job to do when it's already struggling!

@Sophiegiraffe, I had three floors before my last move, five DCs, and my own private washer and dryer in the basement.

Here's how I managed:
Small basket in each bedroom (four small baskets on top floor and one basket in first floor/ ground floor bedroom). Five baskets total.

One basket at the foot of the basement stairs - stairs went straight down, no corners.

I took all the small baskets when they were looking full and sorted them quickly. I often only sorted into 'white' and 'other'. This saved a lot of time and meant laundry turnaround was faster. 'Other' went in a 30 degree wash.

I often bunged whites (mainly school shirts, socks, underpants, washcloths - small items) into one of the small baskets and threw the entire thing down into the basket at the bottom of the stairs, with a few bathroom towels, kitchen towels, my kitchen aprons, baby bibs etc and washed them even without filling the washing machine. All the towels in my home are white.

Meanwhile, all the non white items could also go into the washer together - jeans, t-shirts, sweaters, hoodies, uniform trousers, pinafores, skirts, baby clothes, etc. Again, I just threw them downstairs to the basement, sometimes baskets and all. 30 degrees, job done.

The downstairs basket was brought up full of dry clothes with any smaller baskets stacked and carried on top. Clothes were folded and returned to bedrooms inside small baskets.

Then the basement basket went down again immediately.

I hardly ever carried a basket down to the basement, and certainly never carried one back up again with dirty clothes in it awaiting their turn.

Try doing darks and colours together at low heat?

If you need to separate darks and colours, buy enough baskets to hold each and will hold a full load so you won't end up carrying dirty clothes back upstairs?

Wash more frequently?

I put every item in individually, can't imagine just shoving a pile in without knowing what is in it.

Only DD2 and me now, but I've always done washing this way.

I just shove an armful in the machine (unless it's the smallest kids clothes, in which case I have to unfurl every item and cover in station remover).

I don't recommend my approach though - I have previously managed to wash a coat hanger, a vape and many, many tissues this way. Keep doing what your doing.