Or is this not how anyone does washing?!

[Sofiegiraffe]

Who is BU here, me or DP?

When I put a wash load in the machine, I pick up each item individually and sort of make a mental note of it so I have a rough idea of what is going into the machine (in case anyone asks where an item of their clothing is, or in case I'm wondering "where's that pair of black trousers of mine?", for example).

DP claims to just "pick up a load of stuff and shove it in". He doesn't put them in one by one. So if it's a darks wash that he's put on, and I ask "are my black trousers in that wash?" or "is DD's pink dress in that colours wash by any chance?", he won't know. All he knows is that he shoved a load of dark or coloured stuff in.

He thinks that's a perfectly reasonable way to do the washing. I think surely no one else does this? Surely most people look at what they're putting in so they at least have a rough idea of what's going in?!

Who is BU? Please settle this once and for all!

I don't really understand this.

Surely when you do the washing, you wash everything that's in the washing basket (even if it takes more than one load). So you know that everything that was in the washing basket is in the process of being washed. And its up to the people putting washing in the washing basket to make sure they do so in a timely manner so that it will be washed in time for when it is needed.

We wash about every other day (full, mixed loads), so everything that has been put in the washing basket will be returned to the owner clean and dry within a couple of days of being put in the basket. If anyone (like the teenagers) choose to leave their dirty washing somewhere other than the washing basket, or don't put it in with enough time for it to be washed before they need it, then that their own problem to solve. Everyone knows what's in the wash, because they know what they put in the washing basket.

@zurala

YANBU I always sure through what's waiting to be washed and ensure that what goes on the machine is what needs to be washed most urgently. DH just shoves stuff in regardless, which has resulted in kids not having uniforms, and me not having any underwear, on occasion. It's really frustrating!

So annoying isn't it!

@comealongponds

The focus in your OP is all wrong. It’s not about knowing every item that’s in the wash, it’s about prioritising the essentials when putting the wash on.

If you’d said “AIBU to expect that when DH does the washing he makes sure school and work clothes get done” you’d have got very different answers!

Obviously it’s not unreasonable that an adult should be able to make sure school/work uniform is prioritised.

Yes you're right. Essentially that's what I mean - it's about being aware of what needs to go in. I'm just able to sort of mentally clock what I'm putting in as I do it whereas he does it absentmindedly I suppose.

I do a bit of both if that helps, I pick out the priority clothes from the piles first and get them done first so I would know what was in that wash then the rest is piled into the next wash

@comealongponds

The focus in your OP is all wrong. It’s not about knowing every item that’s in the wash, it’s about prioritising the essentials when putting the wash on.

If you’d said “AIBU to expect that when DH does the washing he makes sure school and work clothes get done” you’d have got very different answers!

Obviously it’s not unreasonable that an adult should be able to make sure school/work uniform is prioritised.

This. I'm a "bung it all in" kinda person but, for example, if it were a weekend I'd be making sure that DPs work pants and DCs school clothes were in there, then I'd mindlessly grab whatever was left and cram as much in as I could fit and probably a bit more too.

@TortugaRumCakeQueen

Do people really not check pockets for tissues and stuff? Tissues left in a pocket are the devil.

I sometimes leave a tissue in a pocket and nothing bad happens, it just comes out still in the pocket but in a soggy lump

Is my washing machine doing something different to yours? What's meant to happen?

@AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair

I'd end up with little white tissue specks all over everything. Not sure how else to explain it. It's a nightmare!

@UnadulteratedCat

Big arm full of darks here too. No time to give a fuck where everyone’s pants or tops are.

Same

I throw my essentials in first then top up with everything else. I wouldn't know anyone else's unless they specifically said "can you make sure my navy trousers are put in the wash please". I have no space in my head to memorise who needs what and when.

I'm with you, OP. DH and DS clothing just gets thrown in. My clothing is separated out and washed with special detergent and hung to dry. Towels get their own load once a week and same with bed linens.

I'm the same as your husband.

Somewhere in the middle. I store things in mesh sacks in the laundry basket based on which wash they'll go in. As I pull the clothes out of the bag to put in the machine, I double check for tissues or anything needing a dab of Vanish and usually end up knowing what's gone in the wash. Occasionally I've weeded out sonething that shouldn't be in there. Socks, tights and undies get washed still in the mesh bag.

@TortugaRumCakeQueen

Do people really not check pockets for tissues and stuff? Tissues left in a pocket are the devil.

Yes. As they're put in the basket.

No, I din't check pockets, that's up to the owner. We haven't had a tissue disintegrate in the machine for years. I don't check for pairs of socks either (seen that mentioned on here too).

I shove everything in at once. No colour seperation (don't think either of us own anything white anyway) either.

I do towels and bedding seperate, otherwise it just gets shoved in and we'll find out what's clean when we look in the wardrobe.

Unless they are VERY small they can do their own bloody washing.

So you make a mental not just in case anyone asks where an item is within those 1 or 2hs they're in the machine? That's never even crossed my mind. I'm a bunger inner!

I separate out the whites from the rest and I check jeans and trouser pockets for tissue bombs, etc.

Then I throw it all in and definitely don't take note of what items are in the wash.

I don't understand why it's so important to know? You'll see it all again when the wash cycle is finished, right?

It's in my interests to be aware of where her stuff is that I might be looking for

I can't understand why you wouldn't just open her drawers and pick out something that's already there?

Do you have pre-planned outfits for her?

I separate my laundry into darks, whites and delicates but beyond that I don't really think very hard about the actual items.

@UnadulteratedCat

Big arm full of darks here too. No time to give a fuck where everyone’s pants or tops are.

This

@mathanxiety

It's in my interests to be aware of where her stuff is that I might be looking for

I can't understand why you wouldn't just open her drawers and pick out something that's already there?

Do you have pre-planned outfits for her?

To an extent, yes, I have outfits planned. For example, I don't want to send her to the childminder's in anything that could get ruined, so I have "messing about" outfits which I don't mind if she gets filthy in, and nicer outfits for weekends, etc.

I check pockets every time for screws, mints, tissues etc. I tend to put the stuff that is needed in first, then fill it up with the rest of that particular colour. My kids are of the bung it all in brigade, whereas I sort it into dark, lights and hot wash.
I don't check the sock pairs as they go in BUT when I'm pegging them out, if there's an odd sock it goes straight back into the washbasket to reunite it with its mate at a later date.
I also have a rough timetable of washing, sheets one day, dark towels another day, uniforms on Friday etc. Works for me.

Yes, I’m with you, op. I make a mental note as I am loading it.

@Goldfishmountainclimber

Yes, I’m with you, op. I make a mental note as I am loading it.

The minority club is growing!