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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this meeting is too far to travel to?

140 replies

Martha5983 · 17/04/2022 07:43

I joined a new team at work during the lockdown. The team live all over the UK.

A 2 hour face to face meeting and lunch has been arranged in May. I’m only allowed overnight accommodation in very specific circumstances- for example if I complete a site visit the following day. It starts at 11.30 to ‘allow travel on the day’. The journey will be 6 hours - meaning that to attend the meeting I’ll need to be on a train at 5:30 - probably up at around 4am. Journey home will mean I am home around 10pm. I don’t have a company car and my normal working week is 9-3 four days a week.

It’s in the middle of my daughters SATS week - so I’m not keen on an overnight for that reason.

I feel pressured to go because it’s important for team building and on the basis that I’ve worked from home and travelled minimally for the last few years. I don’t mind being flexible with my working pattern. But even before covid the max travel I’ve done in one day would have been a journey of around 2 hours.

AIBU to say that this journey is unreasonable and that I’ll join remotely or will I risk looking like I’m not a team player and miss out on the face to face contact?

OP posts:
BungleandGeorge · 17/04/2022 16:13

You work 9-3 and they want you to do an additional 8/9 hours travel unpaid on top? Is that part of your contract? They legally need to give you an 11 hour test break before your next shift too

BritWifeInUSA · 17/04/2022 16:20

What was agreed when you joined/signed your contract? If you were made aware that meetings will be held all over the country then I guess you can’t complain. There will always be someone for whom the location is not ideal. If the meeting had been at a location closer to you then someone else would have a nightmare journey.

I work remotely (I live in the US) and our team is scattered from Hawaii to Maine and everywhere in between. If we had a meeting in New York, for me that would be a 3-hour drive to the nearest airport and then a 6-hour flight. But I was made aware of that when I joined the company. And it was my choice to accept the position.

PAFMO · 17/04/2022 17:08

@BungleandGeorge

You work 9-3 and they want you to do an additional 8/9 hours travel unpaid on top? Is that part of your contract? They legally need to give you an 11 hour test break before your next shift too
They really don't. And the OP has choices. There is a meeting. She should attend it. If she chooses to travel on the same day to get to it, that's her responsibility and decision to make. Most people would do as others have sensibly suggested. Go up late the day before. Pay £40 for a PI or TL.
MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 18/04/2022 21:00

@SirChenjins

No way would I do 12 hours of travel for a two hour meeting. If lockdown and wfh has taught us anything it’s that very few meetings can’t be done remotely and that we’ve spent far too many hours of our lives travelling all over the country to appease people who like a jolly. Tell them you’ll dial in OP.
If lockdown has taught us anything g, it’s the limitations of a totally digital world and tbe importance of human connections and face to fa e contact
SirChenjins · 19/04/2022 06:52

Not when it requires huge amounts of completely unnecessary travel

SScoobiedoo · 19/04/2022 07:07

Can't you hire a car - it's 4 and a quarter hours. You'd get there in time and then drive home that night so no over nighters.

SScoobiedoo · 19/04/2022 07:10

Golf - Civic:1800cc
1 - 2 Days

£50.00 p/d

Norwich Car hire

Tschecked · 19/04/2022 07:23

Those saying Op should drive - I agree a 10 year old car isn't old - but according to the AA she'd still be facing a trip of about 4.5 hours each way.
Personally I'd drive for convenience, of course I've got breakdown cover. I wouldn't do over 8 hours on the road in one day, I'd stay overnight the night before the meeting.

I can't see anywhere whether Op can claim mileage, but surely you can Op? Estimated 40p per mile, 200 miles... that's about £80.

Op - you need to email your line manager and check - set out the fats of your travel arrangements. Ask if there is any leeway on the overnight stay (you don't know unless you ask), check your mileage allowances.

SirChenjins · 19/04/2022 07:44

@SScoobiedoo

Can't you hire a car - it's 4 and a quarter hours. You'd get there in time and then drive home that night so no over nighters.
Why would she drive a around 9 hours (possibly more, depending on traffic conditions and breaks) for a 2 hour meeting?

Honestly, some of you are bonkers.

SScoobiedoo · 19/04/2022 07:48

Because it's a one off (hopefully)

SirChenjins · 19/04/2022 07:51

Which can be dialled into, or travelled to the day before with an overnighter if face to face is deemed to be absolutely necessary (which it won’t actually be, of course)

Whetheryouthinkyoucan · 19/04/2022 08:00

@Martha5983

Take the x1 bus to Peterborough and get the train. It’s direct then and so easy.

BitOutOfPractice · 19/04/2022 08:05

I have a meeting that’s almost that far door to door. 5 hours maybe. It’s every month. I go in person every one in three times, maybe 4, because I think it’s important occasionally to show your face.

“SATS week” is a totally red herring reason to not want to go.

SleeplessInEngland · 19/04/2022 08:07

If it’s a once in a blue moon meetup and you not going will be noticed/cared about then I’d bite the bullet. The question is are those two things true?

Whetheryouthinkyoucan · 19/04/2022 08:08

As a line manager, who has a similar team travel set up, I’d expect you there. I’d be very disappointed with my team “telling” me they weren’t coming and would dial in.

ChessieFL · 19/04/2022 08:15

Look into flying - I don’t know if there are flights between Norwich and Manchester or if the timings would suit but that may work out quicker. Or depending where you live you may be able to get to a different airport more easily?

Housetreecar · 19/04/2022 08:39

I think you need to suck it up as a one off. It’s the trade off from working at home. Dialling in your a face to face meeting tends to be a royal pain anyway and doesn’t work very well in terms of sound and hearing everyone anyway.

It’s a pretty crappy journey but if it really is rare then just do it.

SirChenjins · 19/04/2022 08:45

@Whetheryouthinkyoucan

As a line manager, who has a similar team travel set up, I’d expect you there. I’d be very disappointed with my team “telling” me they weren’t coming and would dial in.
As a manager of a department I wouldn't expect any of my staff to travel for 9 hours plus in one day to attend a 2 hour meeting, because I'm a decent human being. I'd be very disappointed in myself if I didn't look after my staff better.

Dialling in works absolutely fine - we do it all the time - and saves time and money.

Jonny1265 · 19/04/2022 08:46

[quote SafelySoftly]@Hoppinggreen SATs are far from irrelevant. Many secondary school use as a basis for streaming the children.[/quote]
Any decent secondary school does a baseline assessment and re-streams, if indeed there are streams in the first place.

sillysmiles · 19/04/2022 08:46

Why would she drive a around 9 hours (possibly more, depending on traffic conditions and breaks) for a 2 hour meeting?

Honestly, some of you are bonkers.

I don't think so. I think if your company require an occasional face to face meeting then you make sure you are there. Because it is good for your career as well as it being the pay off for remote working.

Jonny1265 · 19/04/2022 08:48

I usually make a day of it if I'm doing something like this. I stay overnight and go and see show/play/concert or just chill on my own. It's good me time.

SirChenjins · 19/04/2022 08:52

I don't think so. I think if your company require an occasional face to face meeting then you make sure you are there. Because it is good for your career as well as it being the pay off for remote working

If your company requires an occasional face to face in order to properly develop their staff then it's really incumbent upon them to put them up in a hotel the night before so that their staff aren't driving for hours - if they have any sense they will want staff who are performing at their best at the meeting, not tired ands stressed after hours of unnecessary driving.

Octomore · 19/04/2022 08:54

@MolliciousIntent

Wait, are you not supposed to drive long distances in cars over 10 years old? Why not? I've got a 2005 polo that we frequently do 6hr trips in.
Yeah, I have a 11+ year old van I regularly drive to Switzerland from the north or England.

A 10 year old fiat is a perfectly fine car. Provided it's serviced regularly (this applies to all cars), it's not going to be dangerous or problematic to do long journeys in.

Merlott · 19/04/2022 09:00

This is utterly ridiculous. If OP doesn't feel able to say NO then a tactical sick day is the way to deal with it. An unfortunately timed bout of norovirus should do it.

Employers don't own us and no one should be forced to sacrifice this amount of time and headspace just to put a roof over their head and food on the table.

They would "downsize" OP without a moment's hesitation, no matter what "team building" crap they put on

Gowithme · 19/04/2022 09:58

@SheWoreYellow

SATS are to measure the school, not your child, no matter what your school is telling you. I’d take that out of the equation.
Still stressful for a lot of children though and the target scores at the end of every one of my son's secondary reports, including his current GCSE one, are based on what he got in his KS2 SATS.