To think this meeting is too far to travel to?

[Martha5983]

I joined a new team at work during the lockdown. The team live all over the UK.

A 2 hour face to face meeting and lunch has been arranged in May. I’m only allowed overnight accommodation in very specific circumstances- for example if I complete a site visit the following day. It starts at 11.30 to ‘allow travel on the day’. The journey will be 6 hours - meaning that to attend the meeting I’ll need to be on a train at 5:30 - probably up at around 4am. Journey home will mean I am home around 10pm. I don’t have a company car and my normal working week is 9-3 four days a week.

It’s in the middle of my daughters SATS week - so I’m not keen on an overnight for that reason.

I feel pressured to go because it’s important for team building and on the basis that I’ve worked from home and travelled minimally for the last few years. I don’t mind being flexible with my working pattern. But even before covid the max travel I’ve done in one day would have been a journey of around 2 hours.

AIBU to say that this journey is unreasonable and that I’ll join remotely or will I risk looking like I’m not a team player and miss out on the face to face contact?

Seems ridiculous to make such a journey for such a short meeting. Speak up as soon as possible, surely you could join online, as an alternative.

I would double check that accommodation and meal allowance aren’t on offer before declining.

@MolliciousIntent

Wait, are you not supposed to drive long distances in cars over 10 years old? Why not? I've got a 2005 polo that we frequently do 6hr trips in.

I know right, a lame excuse if ever I heard one. I do need to change my car soonish and my budget is such that I'll be trading UP to a 10 year old car! And in a normal, non Covid year I do maybe 6-8k of work related travel outside of my commute.

I'm surprised that the meeting was even suggested like this - our company travel policy wouldn't allow for a two hour meeting with such a huge travel time.
The organiser should really make the most of having the team together with a full day of team events / working so that it is worth it for all.

Just looking at the Trainline, there's a 6.04 train from Norwich that arrives into Manchester at 10.46, which is a 30 minute later start than in your OP, and a journey time of 4hr 42 mins. Unless you live 80 minutes away from the station, it's not a 6 hour journey!

TBH, having to catch at train at 6am really isn't that much of a hardship and it does all sound like you're looking for reasons not to want to go. As PP have said, do you want to be that person?!

Given it sounds like it’s the first time in a couple of years, I would say YWBU not to go. Face to face time is important to form connections with people and you should prioritise that as you’re relatively new. It’s not a big ask from the company.

I think people’s expectations of what’s reasonable in terms of work asks have become hugely distorted during COVID. It sounds like you’ve got a large degree of flexibility (remote working, decent hours) and you need to make sure you’re seen to reciprocate that by sucking up the occasional travel that may not be the most convenient for you.

Depending where in Norfolk you are would it be quicker to drive to Peterborough Station and then go from there? Quick train with 1 change says its 2h 41m. Appreciate Norfolk is a very big county though!
I'd be inclined to try and make it though. I think I'd go up the evening before, even if I had to pay for a hotel myself, and then travel back straight after the meeting.

I think on the basis that they’ve given lots of notice and it only happens very occasionally, if suck this one up and insist on time off in lieu for all the extra hours you’ll be travelling.

My DD’s GCSE targets are all based on her SATs scores btw.

As a one off, YABVU.

SATs are measuring the school's performance, not your dc.

I took a 20 year old camper van from Newcastle to the south of France (and journeys daily in between), I think a usually reliable 10 year old car can manage 200 miles.

You've been remote working for ages, I think this is absolutely a one off in terms of expected travelling. Having said that, my company have a 4 hour travel = overnight stay policy.

(Why not make a bit of a trip of it - book into a travelodge and have a night on your own without any of the parenting mental load?)

Also, meeting starts at 11.30. Lets say journey time of 5 hours, means leaving the house at 6.30. Get up at 6, quick shower, dressed and out of the house by 6 30. Arrive for 11.30 meeting, 2 hours takes you to 1.30. Lunch would have to take 4 hours followed by a 5 hour journey to get home at 10?!?

You're making this into some massive eproblem OP. Go to the office. Meet some people, have lunch, come home. Its going to be a long day, sure.

You can either be the 'wow, you've had a long trip, great you're here' woman or the 'oh she couldn't make it, she will join us via zoom AGAIN' woman. I know which I'd rather be

This basically.
Yes I'm in this camp too. In previous roles I've frequently had to get the first train Edinburgh to london(0540) do a full of meetings and get the last train home. I would just ask if you will be credited with travel time and prepare to work on the train.

I would expect an employee to make the meeting in person. The journey isn’t a regular trip so as a one off it’s not unreasonable. The school SATS are not relevant and aren’t an excuse.

So 12 hours travelling there and back for a 2 hour meeting? Thats absolutely ridiculous of your employer even to suggest it.

I'm horrified at some of the working conditions in Britain right now and the way employers treat employees. I think you should do it as a one off unless its for childcare related reasons, but obviously your employer should pay to put you up in a hotel.

FWIW I was once on a flight with 2 oil industry engineers and overheard them chatting to each other about how they were being paid 3 times their usual hourly rate to to the country they were working in for a month, including their travel hours. Male dominated industry though...

I think with the 11:30 start I wouldn't do the overnight first especially if I had a second parent in the home so I could put Dd to bed myself. If you are a single parent then Dd is going to need to overnight somewhere 1st so you might as well .

You need to go but it is a long journey for one day. I’d push for the overnight (SATS irrelevant for the work trip), but such it up and go if they say no.

Working from home must be an amazing benefit for you, so I think you should make the effort to go to this face to face meeting.

Why not hire a car?

I would go, it's a one off and they've given you plenty of notice. Perhaps ask if they could provide a hotel room but I don't think it's too much travel for a one off tbh.

If you spend more time/money travelling than the meeting lasts, it’s a waste of resources that could be better spent on something more productive - local government was like this. It’s a job, not a social event. Join by zoom, use the rest of the time on normal work.

AIBU to say that this journey is unreasonable and that I’ll join remotely or will I risk looking like I’m not a team player and miss out on the face to face contact?

Deffo the latter

I’d do it was a one off.

SATs shouldn’t be a factor in your decision. They really don’t matter for anything.

I would expect you to attend

@CaitoftheCantii

If you spend more time/money travelling than the meeting lasts, it’s a waste of resources that could be better spent on something more productive - local government was like this. It’s a job, not a social event. Join by zoom, use the rest of the time on normal work.

But for the vast majority of people, and jobs, some element of social interaction really helps to oil the wheels in terms of doing our jobs. But apart from that, do people not welcome the opportunity to meet orhers in person, to actually get to know their colleagues even a little in person? I cannot understand this joyless notion of the job as a pure grind only to make money where meeting colleagues is seen as a chore and a nuisance.

Thanks for all the comments - especially the ones giving me the talking to I need 😄.

@Travellingraspberry - thank you particularly for the good suggestion - it’s an hour and half from here to Peterborough by car but I think that’s a good compromise.

I wouldn't be worried about sats.

Yes, secondary schools do sometimes use them for streaming but your stream is not set in stone. Kids are moved up and down all the time. Secondary schools are fully aware which primaries in their area do the most coaching for SATS and therefore have the most inflated grades.

As for the meeting OP, I would just go. Either have your breakfast on the train or stay the night. Although I agree it is annoying to travel so far for a 2 hour meeting plus lunch.

Hi OP, you're getting quite a hard time here from some posters. I sympathise with your question. Given this is a rare event, I think you would be seen as "not a team player" if you joined remotely. However , how much does that matter? Are you in a role where you need to network in person? Do you behave in a friendly team way on a normal day?
If you do decide to go, I would suggest you stay overnight before, and I feel your company should pay for this

People who think their work life is ‘social’ drive me nuts. I’m there to work, not to socialise. I’ll buy some communal biscuits and pass the time of day, but I’m not treating colleagues as my ‘work family’. Especially those who turn a simple two hour meeting into a two day jolly…