Should Mumsnet have it's own middle class section ?

[hattie43]

Reading some of these threads turning nasty it's really apparent that people have such different lives there will never be common ground . Nor does there need to be but the insults are not nice.

A thread posted by someone asking a question , to some a reasonable question being jumped on by ' the poor ' as tone deaf means legitimate conversation has been drowned out .

Should Mumsnet be divided so
' middle classes 'can discuss things the poor don't relate to and likewise ' the poor ' can discuss their issues without ' tone deaf ' comments from people who aren't financially destitute ?

The other thing I don't get is why jump on a thread you don't like why not just scroll on by and join a discussion you do like . Being a hater is never going to resolve anything .

Just have a 'first world problems' area. Everyone knows what they're in for and nobody get all pissy at people being tone deaf.

Much more likely desperately trying to prove how working class and therefore automatically virtuous.

No, it's mostly about trying to be middle class. Automatic virtue comes from how small and joyless your wedding is, despite your vast wealth. The truly genteel serve twigs and rainwater and get the ushers to punch both guests in the face as they come in.

I like the idea of having a first world problems area. If it would offend you then stay off of it - simple really 🤷‍♀️

My view is if you come to a forum like this - one with a very mixed demographic and personal circumstances then It goes both ways— comfortably off people shouldn’t be doing the patronising stuff of ‘where does all your money go’ — why not get a nanny/au pair in for that irregular hour job etc , why did you get pregnant again and end up as a single parent with 3 kids etc — however the reverse is also true , those who are struggling (and lots of us are really mindful that it’s an awful time for so many— I know I’ve been having to help my son out who shares a flat with a friend and ended up with a £550 bill over and above his direct debits) — we really don’t deserve the nasty comments and pure bile that comes from some— the ‘you don’t know what it’s like to be poor ’ kind of stuff—- many many of us do actually — circumstances can change and quite quickly. Many of us on here who are comfortably off (ish) but not rich care a great deal and hence why we also care and often campaign about the underlying things causing the situation - I thought the post in question had a poor heading but the lady in question really didn’t deserve some of the unpleasant vitriol. Stuff like this stops people daring to post or use the board and that’s a big shame.

@FourTeaFallOut

Wtf is lower class? Do you mean unemployed, as opposed to working class? Or are you calling working class, lower class? Either way, that's a bit shit

I can't speak for the other poster, but my general understanding of it is "non respectable poor".

So, a family who's always worked in menial jobs, has had little/no access to higher education but are generally the "salt of the earth type" might be working class.

A family with a similar financial situation (although, would easily apply to situations where long term unemployment spans several generations) but who also have a string of criminal convictions, who actively discourage their children from university, high amount of anti-social activity etc etc

Essentially, the concept of "lower class" is what the Daily Mail likes to think that all benefit recipients are like.

@traintraveller

I don't think it should be split but people need to realise that there are millions of people on this forum with different backgrounds who all have the right to post. It's not just for "poor" people and all the this is tone deaf posters being dicks to people who they think aren't struggling is getting boring.

Totally agree with this.

I read the thread in question. Honestly, what’s the problem? I’m sure the op is quite aware that some people are struggling much more that she is. But then there will also be plenty of people who are in a similar situation to her, so why can she not post her thoughts on something - there will be many others feeling the same. Why so many posters feel they have to jump on people to remind them that others have it worse off I do not know. You could go on forever with that game, how about we compare people struggling here to people in Yemen for example?

People lead different lives and have different lifestyles. That has been the case forever and will no doubt continue to be so. It does feel at the moment than unless you have less than £5 left to last the rest of the month someone will be there to jump down your throat and tell you how awful you are.

I saw that thread - that poster was just trying to put see a bright side to having to be more careful. Yes it's tactless in the sense that there are other people who can't cut down any more and are already struggling, but posters aren't obliged to always temper their own experiences because someone else has it worse.
Can poor people not complain because at least they aren't in a war zone for example?
MN only works because there is such diversity and seeing all the different perspectives often makes us reconsider our own.

How are people so sure that that OP was middle class anyway? Was it the fact that they weren't eco consious at all and lacked the IQ to know how jumpers work that gave it away, I'm not from the UK so don't know your class markers?

Oh my gosh, no, absolutely not, we're all humans and that's all that matters.

@DragonOverTheMoon

Maybe not divided by class but yes I do sort of agree. I know the thread you're on about. I had the same thoughts as the OP.

Same. I felt sorry for the OP. She hardly killed a kitten!

Bullshit, OP.

I’d wager than I’m financially better-off than 95% of people on here and I thought that thread was smug and goady at worst, short-sighted and näive at best.

And as for this one…

The thread you're talking about was tone deaf. It was an innocent post at first but then the further posting of the OP was obviously not. It was shamefully goady, during a cost of living crisis (CRISIS being the key word here), that started off innocently enough talking about changes they had made. Then going on to imply 'oh isn't it a lovely mindful experience?' 'So much more eco friendly' Like it's a yoga retreat! It is not a mindful experience to people genuinely living in poverty, who are going to struggle even more than they already are, some people will El inevitably die because they can't afford to eat or heat their homes. And to imply it is, is ignorant and outrageously insulting.

Disgusting you refer to 'the poor' and 'financially destitute'. It's not only 'poor' people that have empathy by the way.

Threads are there for discussion. It's hardly a discussion if everyone who disagrees scrolls on by and the whole thread is just in agreement with the OP.

It doesn't need different sections.

It needs people to stop jumping on with dickish comments.

All this "don't ya know there's........" to everything is just pure stupid.

People are aware there's a war in Ukraine, cost of living crisis etc.

I'm working class. I'm still working class. I've been on the bare bones of my arse and I'm comfortable now. I didn't begrudge those on MN who had stuff when I shopped in Aldi with a calculator and I still don't hold it against people who have more now.

But @lameasahorse your experience is valid. Waiting a long time to conceive and the disappointment every month is an extremely valid emotion. Just because someone had it worse than you doesn't invalidate your experience.

This has to be the most ridiculous and poorly thought out question I’ve read on MN for a while…

You know there are a lot of middle class people who are poor and working class people who are rich? What a weird suggestion. Segregating by class or money is a horrible idea.

The thread was in AIBU. Some people thought she was and expressed that. Anyone who didn't was at perfect liberty to continue the discussion, they didn't have their posts removed AFAIK, so the discussion wasn't 'stifled'. To make this a social class issue and call for a separate board where 'poor' people's opinions would be absent would surely stifle discussion. Unless your idea of discussion is everyone agreeing and no one challenging anyone or offering any new perspectives. In which case maybe a board called 'The echo chamber' is more what you're looking for.

What even is middle class? You'd probably think I were middle class if you saw my home/family/lifestyle (plus I sound 'posh'- despite growing up on a council estate... DH who grew up in a very different very posh house sounds like Phil Mitchell )

Guess what would happen if I stopped working....? Ergo, I'm working class.

It should not be needed but I am seeing an ever increasing number of posts which show an unfortunate need for this divide. I do however agree it would be carnage with no one able to agree on what is middle class post worthy

I'm assuming the OP's premise here is facetious?

Op which thread are you refering to please.. id like to read it .thanks

@Booboobagins

You sound like a right pompous moron. Everyone has an option. The IP needs to sift through answers to find ones tgat chime/help.

What tge F are classes anyway? You know everyone even the ridiculously ricg are a few months away from being homeless? And tgat includes you and me. BTW I earn 6 figure salary have a 5 bed 3 bath 3 car house. I can though relate to low income issues because I built my career it wasn't handed to me on a plate or associated to me via marriage.

You're on six figures but would be homeless in a few months if you lost your job?

Maybe you should downsize.