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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell someone their swimming costume is see through

132 replies

NameChangeforMoneyThings · 16/04/2022 11:45

I'm at the pool, and there's a lady here whose swimming costume is totally see through at the back.

I want to tell her because I would want to know if it was me (because this is one of things I worry about at the swimming pool) and she isn't here with anyone other than kids too young to tell her.

But I can't decide if it's better just to leave her in blissful ignorance as I'm sure she'll be quite embarrassed?!

I don't really know how to say it either - "I just wanted to say I think your swimming costume might be on the way out"?

OP posts:
palmplantcirca1980s · 16/04/2022 15:53

This reply has been withdrawn

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FavouritePi · 16/04/2022 15:54

I would want to know.

Once I was in the street on a hot day and without knowing, had my dress tucked into my tights at the back. I was embarrassed but not a much as I could have been and really thankful to the woman who told me.

Optimisiticcautiouslyso · 16/04/2022 16:13

Of ALL the places to have a wardrobe malfunction

A swimming pool is one of them. 95% of the time you’re underwater!

Catmummyof2 · 16/04/2022 16:15

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

womaninatightspot · 16/04/2022 16:18

I'd possibly say something in the changing room after. No idea why manufacturers do this though. I bought my then 5yo a perfectly nice swimsuit from Markies put her in the pool and the back of it turned translucent. The front was lined. No idea why they couldn't of continued the lining to cover up her bottom.

Lovemusic33 · 16/04/2022 16:45

I would keep my mouth shut, it’s only the back? I mean what is there to see other than bum crack? Front would be far worse 🤣

RowanAlong · 16/04/2022 16:46

Please tell her! That happens all the time with swimming costumes and you don’t notice til the last minute. I’d want to know!

Playdoughcaterpillar · 16/04/2022 16:52

I have this debate most weeks. I swim at a regular time and an older lady going to aqua always wears a see through suit. It's a pricey club so she could defo afford a new one bit so far I've resisted saying anything but it annoys me!

Twospaniels · 16/04/2022 16:54

We were on holiday once and a very naice hotel and there was a coup,e with a toddler there. The mum’s costume has gone see through at the back, clearly stretched and on the way out.

As they were packing up their things to go inside it just happened that the husband walked past us before his wife, and well out of earshot, so I just said to him that he needed to buy his wife a new swimming costume. He was fine about it and the next day she was wearing a different one. She never glanced over to us so I am assuming her husband didn’t tell her it was me that said anything.

I certainly wouldn’t say anything until you can see they’re packing up to leave the pool

Hotelhelp · 16/04/2022 16:57

Hands up if you're going to be asking your children to check you swimsuit bum from now on before you leaving the changing room?!

Haveyoubrushedyourteeth · 16/04/2022 17:21

Just before lockdown we were at Centre Parcs and an older lady was rocking a baby to sleep by the café area. Her swimming costume had unfortunately got caught between her legs so that her lips on both sides and pubic hair(sorry don't know how to phrase it better) were entirely visible. I'm ashamed to say that I didn't say anything to her, because I just didn't know how to (she was with family so no idea how theyd missed it). I now make DH check every time I'm swimming that nothing is see through, or has escaped.

Pluvia · 16/04/2022 17:30

@Hotelhelp

Hands up if you're going to be asking your children to check you swimsuit bum from now on before you leaving the changing room?!
That's not going to work. It's only once the fabric is wet that it becomes see-through. Happens to older, thinner (cheaper, possibly) swimwear after too much chlorine bleach. Looks okay when you pack it on your back, but when you stretch it over your derriere and then hit the water...
Pluvia · 16/04/2022 17:30

*Pack it in your bag. Ruddy predictive txt.

Benjispruce4 · 16/04/2022 17:30

Not much she can do now so no, leave her alone.

Benjispruce4 · 16/04/2022 17:34

@Cheeseandlobster that poor woman!! So funny to read though.GrinBlush

Nowisthemonthofmaying · 16/04/2022 17:35

Someone told me this in the changing room after a swim a couple of years ago. I was a bit embarrassed but glad to know! Went home and chucked it out.

TheWildRumpyPumpus · 16/04/2022 17:41

@PlanBea

I work on the theory if they can't fix it within 10 seconds (eg: spinach in their teeth, hair sticking up, shirt button undone) then don't tell them
Yes this is the right way to go. If she’s just got there with the kids, what is she meant to do if you tell her?
Pluvia · 16/04/2022 17:54

She can make sure she doesn't wear that swimsuit again, can't she, if you tell her. But because you weren't kind enough to tell her she'll wear it next week and the week after until a woman with a bit of compassion and a backbone takes her aside in the changing room after the swim and says 'I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but the back of your swimsuit is transparent when you're in the water. I'm telling you this because if you were me, I'd want to know about it.'

alltheteeshirts · 16/04/2022 17:55

I'm not sure this is terrible - I mean, even if your swimsuit isn't knackered, you can see someone's bum shape very clearly anyway, can't you? Swimsuits leave very little to the imagination in that sense.

If anything at the front was showing, I'd have a word - but as mentioned, I'd catch someone after their swim, or if a towel could be brought to them. You don't want anyone to feel like they have to hide in a corner in the pool until everyone else is gone...

I'd have said something to the older lady with the baby though. "You might want to adjust your swimsuit - but I don't think anyone else has noticed." It's that 10-second rule - doesn't take her long to fix, and saves her more embarrassment when she eventually realises the wardrobe malfunction herself.

Jillyfernilly · 16/04/2022 17:56

@NameChangeforMoneyThings

Zoggs Cottesloe powerback widely available. As I swim loads it will be worth seeing how long it lasts….

Lalliella · 16/04/2022 18:02

My friend and I told a lady this once. It was completely see-through. We figured if it was us we’d want to know. Next time we saw her at the pool she was wearing the same costume. Oh well!

OperationMincemeat · 16/04/2022 18:04

@Cheeseandlobster

This reminded me of the mn classic where the op was heavily pregnant and trying to wrestle a toddler into swimming gear. In all the kerfuffle she forgot to put her bikini bottoms on and didn't notice due to her bump. The first she knew about it was poolside when she was pumping up the toddlers armbands and her horrified husband noticed blurting out "Dwife. Your minge!!!"

Maybe don't use this approach op Grin

This cannot be true.
Hotelhelp · 16/04/2022 18:07

@Pluvia oh no!!!

Ijsbear · 16/04/2022 18:42

@xyzandabc

If you are going to say something, I wouldn't say I think you're costume is on the way out. If someone said that to me, I'd think they were telling me my costume looked a bit old and knackered or dated and the person was just weird and rude.

I'd go more for something like ' I'm not sure if you know but you're costume is a bit see through at the back, hope you don't think I'm talking out if turn but if it were me I'd want to know'.

this seems perfect.

Fwiw my lovely, kind, steadfast, attractive and slightly geeky companion had worn out trunks. He didn't realise. A kind word was absolutely essential!

Soooo... how do I check my costume doesn't do this? Do I soak them and hold up to the light?

soak them, put your hand inside in them in the nipple region and then the pube region and mid-back in bright light and see if you can see a bit of pink through the fabric.

Justkeeppedaling · 16/04/2022 18:57

@Momicrone

I often see people with transparent leggings and wonder if they know their knickers are on display
The woman next door wears see through leggings all the time. You can see her knickers. I don't like her, otherwise I'd tell her.