To tell someone their swimming costume is see through

[NameChangeforMoneyThings]

I'm at the pool, and there's a lady here whose swimming costume is totally see through at the back.

I want to tell her because I would want to know if it was me (because this is one of things I worry about at the swimming pool) and she isn't here with anyone other than kids too young to tell her.

But I can't decide if it's better just to leave her in blissful ignorance as I'm sure she'll be quite embarrassed?!

I don't really know how to say it either - "I just wanted to say I think your swimming costume might be on the way out"?

Surely you just decide if you are a person who treats others how you expect (hope) to be treated?
I told a very smartly dressed woman her suck in stocking leg tops were showing below her dress.. She was very grateful.. Have also stopped post - loo ladies if their dress was stuck in their knickers... Surely just a tad of kindness needed to tell? Not like you are off buying her a new swimsuit is it?

I live within walking distance of a beautiful beach. I had an older friend come to visit and she asked me to go swimming with her. I put on my swimsuit under a shirt and shorts and took a towel, but she didn't want to be bothered so wore her swimsuit with a flimsy sarong tied around her waist. We walked across open countryside on footpaths, about a mile to get there. Lovely day and lots of people out walking.

When we emerged from the sea her swimsuit was see-through. It was old and the colour had faded and I could see her nipples and her pubes and her appendix scar. She was all for walking back along the footpaths in her damp cossie with the sarong around her waist and wouldn't believe me when I said her suit was transparent. I wanted her to wrap herself in my towel and she put up a fight until she noticed how people were looking at her when they met her on the footpath. At that point she asked for the towel.

I would always, however embarrassing it is, prefer to be told. She could be swimming in the swimsuit for weeks before anyone was brave enough to say anything.

@SpringGeraniums yes, my mother used to like to humiliate me, she got a kick out of it too.

Oh, I don’t know. She should know but it’s awkward for all involved having to tell her. Can you slip an anonymous note under the changing room cubicle at the end of the session and then run?

[quote Kurtanforpm]@SpringGeraniums yes, my mother used to like to humiliate me, she got a kick out of it too.[/quote]
to you as well. It's so damaging and hurtful.

I would prefer to be told kindly than wonder if people were staring or smirking at me! Mind you, I can understand your reluctance as not all people take it in the spirit intended....

I wouldn’t say anything

@thewhatsit

Contrary to a lot of posters, I would HATE it if someone told me that.

My last swimming costume was on its way out for ages but it was comfortable and I couldn’t be bothered to get a new one as I’m between sizes and it’s a faff to find out which size fits. You couldn’t see anything obscene which was all I cared about.

But say you thought nothing obscene could be seen but it turns out it could. Would you want to be told then? I tell people but it's such a quandary to know if I'm doing the right thing. So I'm interested to know if there are any circumstances when you'd prefer to be told.

Why do people do/say nothing?? How horrible! You big cowards. Just politely tell them. My old costume went see through at the back and I always wondered how long I’d been wearing it like that. Id have been so grateful to have been told.

@Honeyroar

Why do people do/say nothing?? How horrible! You big cowards. Just politely tell them. My old costume went see through at the back and I always wondered how long I’d been wearing it like that. Id have been so grateful to have been told.

It’s not anyone else’s job to police your clothes though is it?? Check them yourself before leaving the house that they aren’t see through etc, some people do it on purpose.

I wouldn't say anything. She might already know and not care, or she might be so embarrassed that she'll get defensive and aggressive.

For me, if there was something I could do about it then sure tell me but there’s not, so don’t. I really would hate my swimming trip with my children to be ruined because of someone else.

I’d want someone to tell me. Just tell her.

But don’t say that you think her swimsuit is on the way out! Lol. She might think you’re saying that it’s not on trend or old fashioned.

I would have to gentle say something. I once told a lady in the supermarket that her floaty skirt was tucked in her knickers and showing her bum off. I had seen a few people looking and sniggering and just could not leave the poor lady. She was so grateful.

dd's swimming teacher's swimming costume was also see-threw - no way did i tell her

Soooo... how do I check my costume doesn't do this? Do I soak them and hold up to the light?

I'd want someone to tell me, definitely. I think it's a kind thing to do for someone, that costs nothing.

@PlanBea

I work on the theory if they can't fix it within 10 seconds (eg: spinach in their teeth, hair sticking up, shirt button undone) then don't tell them

But she can change it in 10 seconds if told I'm the changing room - put the costume in the bin.

You’re not policing their clothes! You’re just telling them gently in case they didn’t know, which is more likely than them wearing it on purpose! And if they get a bit defensive or grumble at you so what, just leave them to flashing everyone.

@Thetoasterhasbroken

I would have to gentle say something. I once told a lady in the supermarket that her floaty skirt was tucked in her knickers and showing her bum off. I had seen a few people looking and sniggering and just could not leave the poor lady. She was so grateful.

Somebody once kindly stopped their car to tell me my dress was tucked into my i knickers. I was walking to work and had just walked past a secondary school at 8.30 so I am sure the kids had a good old snigger. I was so grateful to her for stopping.

I would want to be told. There was a pervert at the pool I used to use, who used to peep at women and young girls underwater, and swim up behind them if they were doing the breast stroke so that he could stare between their legs.

I have told other people when there has been a swimming costume wardrobe malfunction. Not people who annoy me in the pool, though. Screw them. For example, the splashy man who consistently raced off in front of me when I came in for a turn, despite being slower and thrashy enough to frequently hit or kick me whilst I was trying to pass. The netting on the inside of his shorts perished. I could have told him, but I decided his right bollock could just play peekaboo all evening instead.

Tell her. My friend told me that my swimming costume was see through at the back and if she hadn't I'd have carried on wearing it.

It’s not anyone else’s job to police your clothes though is it??

It isn’t ‘policing’. Telling someone their bikini is too low-cut or their Speedos are too tight would be policing. Telling someone their clothing has gone see-through or that a thread has come loose (for example) is trying to be helpful. The worst that can happen is that get embarrassed - but if no one tells them, they’ll still be walking around in ignorance.

Leave it. I've worn a costume like this as it was either that or not go swimming with the kids. Costumes do this. Does anyone really care about an arse that's covered in something a bit see through?

@WomanStanleyWoman

It’s not anyone else’s job to police your clothes though is it??

It isn’t ‘policing’. Telling someone their bikini is too low-cut or their Speedos are too tight would be policing. Telling someone their clothing has gone see-through or that a thread has come loose (for example) is trying to be helpful. The worst that can happen is that get embarrassed - but if no one tells them, they’ll still be walking around in ignorance.

Some people do it on purpose like I said and they are fully aware 🤷‍♀️