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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell someone their swimming costume is see through

132 replies

NameChangeforMoneyThings · 16/04/2022 11:45

I'm at the pool, and there's a lady here whose swimming costume is totally see through at the back.

I want to tell her because I would want to know if it was me (because this is one of things I worry about at the swimming pool) and she isn't here with anyone other than kids too young to tell her.

But I can't decide if it's better just to leave her in blissful ignorance as I'm sure she'll be quite embarrassed?!

I don't really know how to say it either - "I just wanted to say I think your swimming costume might be on the way out"?

OP posts:
GladAllOver · 16/04/2022 13:54

If the back of the costume is transparent, surely the front will be as well and you'll be able to look down and notice it? And the crotch usually has a separate lining.

HotDogKetchup · 16/04/2022 13:55

I had a white bikini and my friend told me he could see my “landing strip” wax. I was grateful for the feedback!!

WomanStanleyWoman · 16/04/2022 13:55

Some people do it on purpose like I said and they are fully aware 🤷‍♀️

Well then they won’t care if someone says, ‘Do you know your swimsuit has no arse?’, will they?

GatoradeMeBitch · 16/04/2022 13:58

I wouldn’t like someone offering their opinion on my swim suit regardless of whether I knew it was see through

And that's fair enough. However I'd rather hear it from a sympathetic woman than from a howling group of teenagers during the school holidays...

WomanStanleyWoman · 16/04/2022 13:58

@GladAllOver

If the back of the costume is transparent, surely the front will be as well and you'll be able to look down and notice it? And the crotch usually has a separate lining.
If the costume is designed to be a bit sheer, then yes. But if it’s just ageing and showing wear in certain areas, the front could be fine.
Original poster
NameChangeforMoneyThings · 16/04/2022 13:59

The total variety of answers here is why I wasn't sure about whether to do anything or not - clearly some people don't care, some don't want to know and some would want to.

In the end I decided the people who said not to mention it unless I could catch her in the changing room probably had the best policy and I didn't locate her.

@Jillyfernilly - I will have to look out that zoggs one

OP posts:
Qwill · 16/04/2022 14:00

Maybe she knows and likes it that way?

1forAll74 · 16/04/2022 14:02

She probably already knows about this,as others might have told her about it, and she does not care about such things. I would not say anything, just keep on swimming, and stop looking at her.

Thisisit2022 · 16/04/2022 14:03

I'd want to know so I could throw it out but I'd be inexplicably and unfairly a bit miffed at the person telling me! Knee jerk embarrassment.

GladAllOver · 16/04/2022 14:09

You couldn’t see anything obscene which was all I cared about

Sorry but that's the wrong word. It may embarrass you to have shown too much, and it would certainly be out of place in a public pool.
But the human body in not obscene and is perfectly acceptable to be visible in the right place.

BurgerKingAddict · 16/04/2022 14:10

I would not want to see someone’s arse in a worn out see through swimming costume. Yuk. Why would you think it’s ok and keep wearing it?

ThinWomansBrain · 16/04/2022 14:10

@ENoeuf

What does see through mean? Thread bare so you can see skin peeking through or see through as in translucent and you can see outline of bum crack? I wouldn’t say anything, bums aren’t that exciting.
on a well worn old costume, the elastic in the fabric kind of "ladders" a bit like tights, so the damaged area is see through. If it happened on the bum area, wearer of said swimsuit is unlikely to notice.

Wearer might be bothered, might not be, I agree with other posters that if you say something vague like "time for a new costume" they're as likely to think you're being rude as to get your true meaning.
If you're going to say something OP, don't be opaque like the costume.

BurgerKingAddict · 16/04/2022 14:11

My comment was to @jytdtysrht

BurgerKingAddict · 16/04/2022 14:13

@GladAllOver

You couldn’t see anything obscene which was all I cared about

Sorry but that's the wrong word. It may embarrass you to have shown too much, and it would certainly be out of place in a public pool.
But the human body in not obscene and is perfectly acceptable to be visible in the right place.

I don’t think a pool with children and teenagers is the right place for the human body to be visible. Well not people’s private areas - it’s inappropriate.
thinkingaboutLangCleg · 16/04/2022 14:36

It's kind to tell people they're having a wardrobe malfunction. Much better than leaving them to discover in more embarrassing circumstances. But I don't know if I'd have the courage to!

stripeyflowers · 16/04/2022 14:37

This is really tricky. I mean, she may know and not care and not take kindly to your interference. I would really want to know but that's me.

PegsandBags · 16/04/2022 14:47

I don't think I'd say anything, too many chances of ME being the one in trouble!

But I am really posting to find out if OP is abroad or in a swimming pool in UK... if abroad where are you that you can be in the pool in April, for research purposes of course..... lol

ClemDanFango · 16/04/2022 14:54

I once told a girl her skirt was tucked in her tights at the back. She told me to fuck off and called me a nosey bitch 😳
I’d still tell costume lady though.

DaisyDozyDee · 16/04/2022 15:10

Any comments about my swimwear would make me feel uncomfortable, but nine times more so if the comments were from someone who had their phone out at the pool.
She has no way of knowing you haven’t taken pictures.

Cherrysoup · 16/04/2022 15:11

I’d want to know. I told a colleague her skirt was totally see through the other day. We’re teachers so not great!

SiobhanSharpe · 16/04/2022 15:17

I was at the beach once with my DB and DSIL and her very pale swimsuit was totally transparent at the front.
It was actually translucent (not the old and frayed kind of see-through) and you could see the lot. Shock
She is lovely but quite formal and reserved and I didn't dare tell her. Still haven't.
On the plus-side it was in France and there was way more than that on open display. 😉

OceanAtTheEnd · 16/04/2022 15:27

@DaisyDozyDee

Any comments about my swimwear would make me feel uncomfortable, but nine times more so if the comments were from someone who had their phone out at the pool. She has no way of knowing you haven’t taken pictures.
Say what?
MikeandDave · 16/04/2022 15:37

@DaisyDozyDee but if you are bothered about photos wouldn't you rather someone actually told you rather than walking around unknowingly showing more than you thought and any number of people might take a photo without you knowing or be laughing about you behind your back.

DaisyDozyDee · 16/04/2022 15:47

I know it’s not directly relevant to the thread, but every pool I ever go to has a sign saying no phones/cameras, and someone sitting under the sign, thinking that the rules don’t apply to them.
I am much more bothered about photos/videos than I am about someone catching a glimpse.

Cheeseandlobster · 16/04/2022 15:49

This reminded me of the mn classic where the op was heavily pregnant and trying to wrestle a toddler into swimming gear. In all the kerfuffle she forgot to put her bikini bottoms on and didn't notice due to her bump. The first she knew about it was poolside when she was pumping up the toddlers armbands and her horrified husband noticed blurting out "Dwife. Your minge!!!"

Maybe don't use this approach op Grin