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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tell someone their swimming costume is see through

132 replies

NameChangeforMoneyThings · 16/04/2022 11:45

I'm at the pool, and there's a lady here whose swimming costume is totally see through at the back.

I want to tell her because I would want to know if it was me (because this is one of things I worry about at the swimming pool) and she isn't here with anyone other than kids too young to tell her.

But I can't decide if it's better just to leave her in blissful ignorance as I'm sure she'll be quite embarrassed?!

I don't really know how to say it either - "I just wanted to say I think your swimming costume might be on the way out"?

OP posts:

SeedyBloomer · 16/04/2022 12:22

I’m imagining I’m in the see through costume: I definitely want you to tell me!!!

Whatabanana · 16/04/2022 12:24

This happened to me once, had taken my child to the pool and didn't realise I was see through until going past a mirror en route to the pool. It was too late to back out as would have been so disappointing for my daughter 😬. When I got out the pool I was moving at speed. I think I would have been horrified if someone had said something because then I would know they had seen😬.

VanGoghsDog · 16/04/2022 12:25

@ENoeuf

What does see through mean? Thread bare so you can see skin peeking through or see through as in translucent and you can see outline of bum crack? I wouldn’t say anything, bums aren’t that exciting.

I'm also confused by this - what can you actually "see"?

LetitiaLeghorn · 16/04/2022 12:26

I'd tell her. There was a lady at the hairdressers that had leggings on that you could see through. I waited til she'd left the shop then ran after her and told her quickly in private. She was in a coat so she could carry on shopping but she'd know for the future. She said she was grateful.

Hellocatshome · 16/04/2022 12:26

For some bum cheeks?? 🤣 wow
To save her from potential embarrassment, some people would be more or less embarrassed by bum cheeks you dont know which level of embarrassment the lady would have. I have my towel poolside so I can wrap it around myself when I get out because I am embarrassed by my huge thighs and cellulite.

Or if you response was about the story of the boy in the white shorts it most certainly wasn't just bum cheeks on show!

MurmuratingStarling · 16/04/2022 12:26

I would tell her. I would want someone to tell me!

You have just reminded me actually, I need to buy a new swimming costume! Binned mine last summer as it had gone to shit. (Had it for 15 years!!!)

Thanks for the reminder @NameChangeforMoneyThings

Gladioli23 · 16/04/2022 12:28

I mean yes it's ultimately just a bottom - but I aim not to show my bottom to the world.

Anyway I took the suggestion that I needed to catch her in the changing rooms or leave it - and I couldn't so I left it.

Original poster

NameChangeforMoneyThings · 16/04/2022 12:28

Sorry, name change fail there - gladioli23 is me.

OP posts:

BeautifulDragon · 16/04/2022 12:30

A bit see-through at the back, isn't really embarrassing. Lots of people wear thong bikinis and aren't worried about their arse cheeks being on display.

If someone told me a costume was 'on it's way out' I would think I had a massive hole in it or something, so don't say that!

thewhatsit · 16/04/2022 12:30

Contrary to a lot of posters, I would HATE it if someone told me that.

My last swimming costume was on its way out for ages but it was comfortable and I couldn’t be bothered to get a new one as I’m between sizes and it’s a faff to find out which size fits. You couldn’t see anything obscene which was all I cared about.

YvanEhtNiojYvanEhtNioj · 16/04/2022 12:32

She might already know.
Does she look the type that wears see through leggings without a dress or long top to cover her arse?
I wouldn't bother saying anything.

Horcruxe · 16/04/2022 12:35

Seriously I would have just told her.

It saves her embarrassment for the future. Now shes gonna have people looking and laughing at her for who knows how long.

dizzydizzydizzy · 16/04/2022 12:38

I'm a lifeguard and I have to tell people stuff like that because other customers get upset if they can see people's private parts. One of our male regulars was in the habit of wearing threadbare speedos. I told him politely it was time to buy a new pair. He was mortified but it did the trick.

Jillyfernilly · 16/04/2022 12:42

I would want to know.

If you swim regularly the swimming costume material sort of things so everything is more visible. It happens even to the chlorine resistant ones but generally takes longer for them to deteriorate.

I've just bought one with a lifetime guarantee (Zoggs) let's see how it wears!

BungleandGeorge · 16/04/2022 12:43

I don’t think I’d tell a stranger if it was just the back. Front I would

WomanStanleyWoman · 16/04/2022 12:46

Someone once told my friend her swimming costume had gone see-through and she was very grateful - she was mortified that she’d been showing her bum to half the leisure centre! Based on that, I’d always discreetly tell someone now.

I’ve just had a flashback of a man at my gym years ago doing this peculiar little dance where he seemed to be trying to look at himself over his shoulder. I then spotted that his trunks had gone see-through, which was obviously what he was trying to work out!

Paperyfish · 16/04/2022 12:47

My auntie had a quiet word with me once when I was on my way out about the state of my jeans. She said if I gave her 10 mins she’d fix up the tear for me. They were my trendy ripped jeans! Maybe the swim suit is supposed to be racy and sheer? I wouldn’t mention it!

Kurtanforpm · 16/04/2022 12:48

I would want to know.

As a child (11/12), I had a pale yellow swimming costume.

It went totally see though in the water. I had grown men learning at me and making commments, that’s how I first realised, but my parents were too tight to buy another one and made me wear it.

As an adult, I would want to be told discreetly by another woman.

Mouk · 16/04/2022 12:49

If it was me I would tell and would like to be told.

Aprilx · 16/04/2022 12:52

@NameChangeforMoneyThings

I'm at the pool, and there's a lady here whose swimming costume is totally see through at the back.

I want to tell her because I would want to know if it was me (because this is one of things I worry about at the swimming pool) and she isn't here with anyone other than kids too young to tell her.

But I can't decide if it's better just to leave her in blissful ignorance as I'm sure she'll be quite embarrassed?!

I don't really know how to say it either - "I just wanted to say I think your swimming costume might be on the way out"?

If you did want to say something, why would you say it in such a horrible way as “I think your swimming costume is on the way out”. If that is all you can come up with best keep your mouth shut.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 16/04/2022 12:53

I once got in the pool thinking my mascara was waterproof.. I was embarrassed, but also quite grateful, when the female lifeguard had a quiet word, so I didn’t walk around in blissful ignorance looking like a panda. (I was also furious at my then OH who didn’t tell me!)

Blueyellowiris · 16/04/2022 12:56

I wouldn’t want to know.

SpringGeraniums · 16/04/2022 12:56

@Kurtanforpm

I would want to know.

As a child (11/12), I had a pale yellow swimming costume.

It went totally see though in the water. I had grown men learning at me and making commments, that’s how I first realised, but my parents were too tight to buy another one and made me wear it.

As an adult, I would want to be told discreetly by another woman.

I was about to post similar. I had some pubic hair then too but made no difference in terms of the purchasing of a new suit. It's something i am actually still upset about as it was part of a pattern of my DM getting a kick out of people making fun of me.

Ikeptgoing · 16/04/2022 12:58

I wouldn't worry OP
She's mostly under water and most people will look away , have chlorine water in their eyes or aren't wearing their glasses in the pool so are unlikely to have absolutely clear vision!

I had a black swim suit that was losing its lycraness and elastic in a patch at the back, which made it go seethrough there. I spotted it when I hand rinsed it and looked a bit closer then my lovely teenage DCs said "yeah we did think it was see through at the back mum but thought that was the style"

I felt better when I realised I wasn't out of the pool much (ie not going on slides waiting with someone right behind me), so hardly anyone would have seen a tiny bit of my butt. I think I'd have been more embarrassed had someone come up to me in the pool , and perhaps even in the changing room... sometimes it's best not to know until you do and then pretend that no one else really noticed Ignorance is bliss

MikeandDave · 16/04/2022 12:58

I don't think she knows because if it only happens when it gets wet and from the back it would be something you wouldn't see in a mirror. You can probably tell from the cut if it's a very racy sheer suit which someone might wear for a beach holiday but unlikely in a local leisure centre. So on balance it sounds like she doesn't know and it would be best to say something. Agree with a pp to specify it has gone see through rather than say it's on its way out to be tactful.

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