Wedding shower

[HolbornBound]

I am having a couple of wedding hen events with different groups of friends. My mother is also wanting to do a wedding shower for me in a more formal setting. Who should I invite to this - guess it's more family? Should I invite my SIL and MIL to be?

That’s a new one.

Wtf is a wedding shower? How many more events does anyone need?!

What the heck’s a wedding shower?

If your mother is going to do this doesn't she know who she wants to be there?

Tbh it sounds awful - like asking for yet another round of presents on top of the wedding and the hen. But maybe that's not what she's thinking of?

Lol wedding shower

As if a baby shower wasn't extortion enough

Isn’t a wedding shower just a more formal and Americanised version of a hen party?

I would invite family and maybe a best friend or two but not your wider group of friends. Focus particularly on relatives such as nans and aunties who you probably aren't inviting to the hen. Then let your mum invite any friends she would like.

Oh and yes to SIL and MIL.

I would expect a bridal shower to be in place of a hen party, not both.

No one. Honesty, grabby Americanised crap. Give your friends a break and just have one hen do and let people look forward to the wedding without the stress of lots of costly events.

Never heard this one before, honestly it sounds super grabby, surely you will get enough presents at your actual wedding?

What is a wedding shower?!?

What on earth is a wedding shower?

Do you really need to have multiple hen parties? Completely unnecessary

Wedding showers are pretty customary in south Asian cultures. And yes, OP, if you’re from one of them then you should definitely invite your female in-laws, it would be considered really rude not to.

Christ alive!

What next... a funeral shower???

A Positive pregnancy test shower?

Ye gads!

@ButtockUp

Christ alive!

What next... a funeral shower???

A Positive pregnancy test shower?

Ye gads!

I'm going to insist on a funeral shower.

Genuinely curious about the difference between a wedding shower and a hen party? If there's no overlap of guests I can't see a problem but if I was invited to a hen and a wedding shower I'd definitely be

I have a lot of Americans in my family and traditionally the wedding shower was a way to get people to help you to cover all the bits and pieces you'd need for the wedding. Similar to a baby shower being a way to get people to pay for everything you need for a new baby. I'm not sure if they are still a thing in America but my elderly American relatives kept asking me when my wedding shower would be and I had to ask them WTF that was!

It made sense in working class communities back in the day, but I don't know about nowadays.

@FinnRussell

Genuinely curious about the difference between a wedding shower and a hen party? If there's no overlap of guests I can't see a problem but if I was invited to a hen and a wedding shower I'd definitely be

They’re entirely different customs, aren’t they? A hen do is far more modern and intended to be the equivalent of a stag do to equalise the sexes so it isn’t just the groom getting to have a last drunken hurrah out with his friends. The bridal shower is more traditional and is home-based, where female friends and relatives traditionally brought gifts for the marriage trousseau or, in dowry-giving cultures, for the bride’s dowry.

@ComtesseDeSpair i suppose so. Just never considered a wedding shower at all. Both sound dreadful.

I recommend having a shower on the morning of your wedding.

[quote FinnRussell]@ComtesseDeSpair i suppose so. Just never considered a wedding shower at all. Both sound dreadful. [/quote]
I’m married to an American and I love my in-laws and American friends, so am somewhat defensive on their behalf about all the “it’s all grabby consumerist American rubbish” statements when it comes to showers. Yes, the trashy celebrity and influencer stuff in the media or the movies where it’s all about mega expensive gifts and loadsa dollars from dozens of guests is crass - and most ordinary Americans agree. That’s not representative of how the majority of ordinary Americans do bridal showers (or baby showers.) I’ve been to several US bridal showers and they really are just nice, close, female-oriented spaces for the bride’s friends and relatives where you’ll talk about the wedding and where sometimes, several drinks in, it will get a little bit deeper and emotional as the bride thinks about the commitment she’s making. And the shower gifts will generally be tokens or useful.

And aside from that, showers are huge outside of America, and have a long tradition rooted in the idea of a trousseau.

I wish people would seriously consider the amount their wedding shit costs everyone else!!

Back in the day we had what was called a “show of presents” in the bride’s family home.
The wedding presents were displayed with wee tags to say who the giver was.

These were all female events held in the afternoon for older relatives and the friends of the MoB. Tea and cakes were served.

Better off families would have a further show in the evening for the younger crowd where alcohol might be served.