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Original poster

Wedding shower

104 replies

HolbornBound · 15/04/2022 20:48

I am having a couple of wedding hen events with different groups of friends. My mother is also wanting to do a wedding shower for me in a more formal setting. Who should I invite to this - guess it's more family? Should I invite my SIL and MIL to be?

OP posts:
meditrina · 16/04/2022 13:28

Do people have to get you wedding presents too? Or is it just presents before rather than presents after?

Yes, but you don't need to spend more

But normally the shower gift would be small, and then wedding present pretty much as normal. But there's nothing wrong with doing it the other way round, or going firbtwo medium size gift.

As gift is the whole point of the shower, then you normally invite only people you are inviting to the wedding.

TheRossatron · 16/04/2022 13:38

A funeral shower 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

OrangeGrovesAplenty · 16/04/2022 13:43

As gift is the whole point of the shower, then you normally invite only people you are inviting to the wedding.

In fact, in the US generally you don't invite anyone to any pre-wedding party who is not invited to the wedding. And this is especially true for any party where the guest is expected to bring a gift.

OrangeGrovesAplenty · 16/04/2022 13:45

No funeral showers. Smile

I do know a male friend who was given a "divorce shower" by his friends because his ex got most of the household goods in the divorce.

KosherDill · 16/04/2022 13:56

@EnjoyingTheSilence

Wtf is a wedding shower? How many more events does anyone need?!
This.
SleepingStandingUp · 16/04/2022 13:58

@OrangeGrovesAplenty

No funeral showers. Smile

I do know a male friend who was given a "divorce shower" by his friends because his ex got most of the household goods in the divorce.

I'd be up for the dovorce shower
KosherDill · 16/04/2022 13:59

@Springhassprung86

No one. Honesty, grabby Americanised crap. Give your friends a break and just have one hen do and let people look forward to the wedding without the stress of lots of costly events.

Well said!

God, these days people are living together, owning property together and often having kids sans marriage and then expect everyone to swoon and attend multiple events just because they've finally booked a wedding. It's exasperating to be expected to "celebrate " these anti-climactic moments.

CharityShopChic · 16/04/2022 14:00

A long time ago when I was a child - so 70s or early 80s - it was common to have a "show of presents" hosted by the bride in her home a few weeks before the wedding. People (usually the women, tbh) would ooh and ahh over toasters and sets of towels, and have a cup of tea and some cake.

Wedding showers though are not a thing.

KosherDill · 16/04/2022 14:00

@ButtockUp

Christ alive!

What next... a funeral shower???

A Positive pregnancy test shower?

Ye gads!

Well the "reveal party" during pregnancy is taking hold. FFS.
CharityShopChic · 16/04/2022 14:01

@Timeandtune you are of the same vintage as me.

Scottish?

nearlyspringyay · 16/04/2022 14:01

@HolbornBound

I am having a couple of wedding hen events with different groups of friends. My mother is also wanting to do a wedding shower for me in a more formal setting. Who should I invite to this - guess it's more family? Should I invite my SIL and MIL to be?
Don't invite anyone. Cancel. JFC.
KosherDill · 16/04/2022 14:01

@rainbowlou

I wish people would seriously consider the amount their wedding shit costs everyone else!!

Thank you!

WalkWithDignityAndPride · 16/04/2022 14:02

Rename it a golden shower because its taking the piss.

Itloggedmeoutagain · 16/04/2022 14:45

A what?

Timeandtune · 16/04/2022 14:55

Hello charityshopchic. I was born in Perth back in 1959. Remember show or presents as a wee girl. Do remember the “scramble “ where the groom / best man through change from the wedding car as it left the church. All. the children then scrambled for the money #slightdigression

Hoppinggreen · 16/04/2022 15:27

@TheRossatron

A funeral shower 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
But these awful tacky things seem to take place a few weeks before the actual event so presumably everyone would have to gather around someone’s deathbed
Nanalisa60 · 16/04/2022 15:46

Timeandtune

I had forgot about THE SCRAMBLE , the groom and and also the father of the bride, all the kids in the street waiting for them to leave the house and throw the money for luck and all the kids scrambling to get it, also do you remember the blackening, have seen many a poor loon tied to a lamp post with no cloths on covered in black oil and god knows what else, after they had been paraded round the town on the back of a lorry with all his mates drinking and rings a bell so everyone would come out and look. Apparently in is coming back into fashion again, with both girls and boys.

readsalotgirl63 · 16/04/2022 15:59

@CharityShopChic and @Timeandtune - yes I'm late 50's and Scottish so this was a thing. I remember going to cousin's shows and to neighbours - always good scones and traybakesGrin

@Nanalisa60 - and yes the scramble was great fun. Lots of churches where I lived in Glasgow so summer Saturdays were good !

Couple of friends of mine had shows also and it was nice to meet their mothers/female relatives.

CharityShopChic · 16/04/2022 16:43

@Timeandtune

Hello charityshopchic. I was born in Perth back in 1959. Remember show or presents as a wee girl. Do remember the “scramble “ where the groom / best man through change from the wedding car as it left the church. All. the children then scrambled for the money #slightdigression
Oh yes scrambles were VERY much a thing.

Although I remember it mainly that the bride's father would be the one chucking the coppers as they left the family home to go to the church. Got really competitive too.

AllOfUsAreDead · 16/04/2022 17:00

@ButtockUp

Christ alive!

What next... a funeral shower???

A Positive pregnancy test shower?

Ye gads!

Already kind of have positive pregnancy test shower, it's a baby shower. Grin

But now that you've mentioned it, it will become a thing.

So will new car shower, new house shower, new job shower, new shower shower etc.

NoSleepTil · 16/04/2022 17:08

The current thing to do in my neck of the woods (southern US state) is a “stock the bar” party - in addition to bridal showers, bachelor/bachelorette parties, and rehearsal dinners, before the actual main event. It’s quite time an money consuming when a close friend get hitched

FeinsteinA · 16/04/2022 17:15

I'm really surprised that people think this is a new or American thing. When we were married 35 years ago in semi rural Scotland it was absolutely the norm. It was called a show then mind you, not a shower, but it was held after the invitations had gone out but before the wedding. Gifts were delivered for the show (never, ever taken to the actual wedding unless people were coming from far away) put on display and the women of the family and female friends would gather round to ooo and ahhh over the gifts. It was always on a Sunday afternoon and involved tea and cakes. I once heard of someone offering sparkling wine but it caused quite the stir in the village!

It was completely different from the hen do, which just involved a pub crawl basically in those days.

SenecaFallsRedux · 16/04/2022 17:23

@NoSleepTil

The current thing to do in my neck of the woods (southern US state) is a “stock the bar” party - in addition to bridal showers, bachelor/bachelorette parties, and rehearsal dinners, before the actual main event. It’s quite time an money consuming when a close friend get hitched
But I would be willing to bet money that they didn't have a cash bar at the wedding. By my count, I have probably been to over 100 weddings mostly in the Southern US and have never encountered one where we were expected to buy our own drinks. Of course, it's true that some of these were no alcohol weddings, being in the Bible Belt and all.
Cas112 · 16/04/2022 17:31

I would have to decline any 'wedding shower' invite

No need

Whatsmyname100 · 16/04/2022 18:13

@rainbowlou

I wish people would seriously consider the amount their wedding shit costs everyone else!!
Exactly this! Honestly hate attending a wedding these days and I turn down all of them! It's such a massively expensive affair and inconvenient. My wedding was simple and we ensured it was most enjoyable and hassle free for our guests. My bridal shower/hen do was just people turning up with food and to have a good time. Wtf is all these multiple events.