BBQ etiquette (whose BU me or him)

[MrMrsJones]

Having a light hearted discussion about this afternoons BBQ. 18 family members coming

YANBU My world - over the period of the afternoon, we cook the food on the BBq, it doesn't really matter who takes a turn to help cook as long as someone is there. We cook say burgers and when they are ready, people come and get one or not, then say belly pork or sausages or a mixture of different things. We graze over the afternoon.

YABU His world - all food is cooked, put in the hostess trolley (it was his mums) then we all eat together.

So cast your vote

He’s definitely not an Australian 😂

@Mouk

I'm with you.

Use the hostess trolley for drinks.

It's basically, as someone said above, a heated cupboard

He can crack on, get everything ready as he wishes and fill up his hostess trolley then he can serve everyone.

@HarlanPepper

lol, "light hearted discussion". that would absolutely not be the state of affairs in my house if I was having 18 people round for a BBQ later. You're a better woman than me!

It's his 3 kids and partners and grand children and my two kids, partners. Me and him, everyone will muck in and have a lovely time.

It a very tidy garden so a bit of a squish but it will be fine, we are quite chilled.

I would only do the cook over a few hours if loads of people and just burgers/ sausages to order. Otherwise way too much food is cooked and wasted

I hate the whole waiting. Otherwise you get a plate full of sides and salads and it’s just waiting for bbq part. Also hosts then doesn’t get to actually sit down and enjoy food with guests as slaving away all afternoon.

Ahhh it sounds fantastic!

My family YANBU! And people eat on their laps sitting around the garden or at a garden table if you have one.
My IL’s YABU and we all go inside to eat off proper plates like a normal dinner at the table.
Neither is better really, all involve tasty bbq food!

I'm somewhere in between the two of you. I cook the entire BBQ, usually things that take a long time I put on early, you can do whole salmon and whole chicken then vegetables and steak last minute.
We have a big BBQ with a warming rack so the long cook stuff I put up on there.

Then once it's all ready I turn it off, shut the lid and get a glass of wine and salads to go with it.

People help themselves as they want, it all keeps warm under the dome and I don't have to supervise or worry about undercooked meat that afternoon.

It's relaxed, drawn out and doesn't involve long periods of cooking, just long periods of eating.

If you were having a 70s themed party complete with drinks such as Watney’s party 7 and Cinzano and The Capenters playing in the background, then why not a hostess trolley.

Has he literally never been to a BBQ?! How bizarre. Definitely your way is the most usual!

I love a bbq like your idea. However as dh cooks the bbq we get his way which is everything ready at once. It’s stressful but no food anxiety about missing your turn.

your world

I’d run him over with the trolley tbh. Not ok.

Throwing a BBQ party is not the same as a lunch or dinner party.

Those are sit down meals where you all eat together and are pretty set times.

A BBQ is an all afternoon affair. You eat, play with the kids in the garden, separate into groups to chat, roam between groups, eat and drink some more. Food should be on the BBQ for ages so people can eat a bit at a time in between the socialising and playing.

@OwlinaTree

I would do the grazing all afternoon way, not the hostess trolley. But I like the idea of owing a hostess trolley!

This!

Loving the live for the hostess trolley
Maybe when your guests have gone you could, “have a folly , be jolly ….”

Oh definitely your way. Won't the burgers be cold??

Hmm, we do something in between. Whoever’s house it’s at, one person is usually in charge of the BBQ and the other person does the salad and other bits (it’s usually DH doing the bbq and me doing the bits at ours, but role reversal at our friends’ house). As the food is cooked, it’s piled on the end of the bbq and when most stuff is ready, it’s put out with the other bits and we sit and eat mostly together.

Your way op, that way it's fresh and tasty and no one feels forced to load up. Love a lazy bbq

I grew up in South Africa and my DH is South Afrucan. Braai-ing is an artform there.

You are both BU, him because that is just mad and you for putting burgers on a braai. It's sausages, steaks and chops, plus veg. NEVER burgers.

Your dhs method is awful. My mum does the BEST bbqs ever, hands down. Everything nicely marinaded and prepared, we all bring salads and sides, plenty of baguettes and other breads, crisps and dips, then she starts to cook. Plenty of meat, things get cooked and put on the table as and when they’re ready. Hot coals are refreshed as and when needed and the cooking goes on into the evening. It’s not hard, a few people take turns so she sits down and drinks and chats with us.
Just so relaxed.
Dh does bbqs a bit weirdly but only in that he prefers to bbq a whole joint for a lot of people. I’ve convinced him that people like lots of choice so we now offer a variety of bbq’d goods but when we bbq for just us, we often just do one joint. Which I do find boring
We went to a bbq once at a friends house and they cooked everything at once and put it all out on the table indoors for people to help themselves once the last thing had been cooked, then they cleaned the bbq, closed it and that was that. I found it weird!

You are both right and both wrong. :-)

• If we were "having a BBQ for tea" (like if you went to Centre Parcs and "BBQ" was your evening family meal), then you all eat together like any other family meal. You'd only have a few people there so you'd cook it all at once, or at least so everyone could eat part 1 at the same time while part 2 was cooking.
• If we were "having a BBQ" and inviting a range of other people to come round, then the event lasts for several hours and food is cooked throughout, people graze and chat and kids play.

I've got a plug in food warmer type thing with 3 sections. At our bbqs I use it for hot dogs and fried onions. Pre cooked and put in there to keep warm and people help themselves then the burgers/steak/kebabs as and when they come of the bbq

Your husband is wrong.

You are right 😁

I wouldn't like the grazing bit as I would want the food served all together but a hostess trolley is quite funny.