Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how often you 'socialise'

90 replies

Alysskea · 14/04/2022 21:23

I'm probably just being neurotic but I am starting to get a complex as all my friends seem to have an enormous social circle, going out every weekend and after work with a ton of friends. On top of that they've got dozens of people to call on if they need to redecorate or something like that.

I have a handful of close friends and don't go out much - working hard and hanging out with me SO.

Am I the weird one?

OP posts:
DDIJ · 14/04/2022 21:26

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Thatswhyimacat · 14/04/2022 21:30

Probably meet friends once every 2-3 weeks.

PinkPiranha11 · 14/04/2022 21:37

Maybe I do a mums night out (a meal and drinks) once every couple of months. Then DH and I will usually go out with another couple once every 6 weeks ish or we’ll have someone round for a takeaway. I tend to do daytime social stuff more (coffee or lunch) and DH does lots of work social stuff without me. I’m much more antisocial than he is and I just can’t be arsed! I don’t have that many friends, I’d like more but then I realise that I can’t be bothered with the effort of it all!!!

I agree though, I sometimes get jealous of other peoples social lives. Do remember though that you only see the best bits of peoples lives on instagram….

StoneofDestiny · 14/04/2022 21:50

Every week

NeedleNoodle3 · 14/04/2022 21:54

Once a week, I alternate meeting two different friends.

AnyCakeButBattenburg · 14/04/2022 21:58

I meet a friend for coffee once every couple of weeks, I see family often for meals and/or drinks. Apart from that, not at all.

YesMadamDeputySpeaker · 14/04/2022 22:00

My job is so intense and stressful that I rarely have time to socialise. My close friends (from uni etc) live elsewhere in the country and I don't really go 'out' out unless it's a staff do.

However, my family is huge and everyone lives local, so I mainly socialise with them at one of our homes. We do that every weekend. Before I divorced XH, I actually left the house less because I would stay in and spend time with the bastard him.

. I do

familyissues12345 · 14/04/2022 22:04

I have a couple of friends that I see once every 1-2 months for lunch or a walk and a coffee.

My work colleagues are big socialisers, so I go out with them probably once a month. There are more outings but I don't make all of them.

I like nights out, but I prefer nights in... Grin

OdeToSadDisco · 14/04/2022 22:08

I have two separate groups of friends I go out with about once a month each, DH and I probably get out together once a month or so, and then I have other separate friends I see less often. So on average it works out that I'm out (could be dinner, drinks, theatre, gig etc) about once a week.

FreezyFreezy · 14/04/2022 22:14

Hardly ever. I go to camera club as often as I can but recent workload has put paid to that for the time being. I have 1 friend who I go out taking photos with but, again, the workload issue has stopped that. I visit my mum and my siblings but only to go and sit in their houses (or they come to ours). We have been bowling this week and are off on a daytrip tomorrow but that's only because of birthdays. Most nights I sit with dh whilst scrolling through my phone.

Housetreecar · 14/04/2022 22:15

Usually go out with girlfriends for dinner once a week on average and DP and I go out with other couples once a month or so. We aren’t massively social. He also (yawn) plays golf most weeks

NuffSaidSam · 14/04/2022 22:16

I think it's deeply unhelpful to compare yourself to others in this way.

Do what makes you happy.

The only weird thing is needing to do a poll to see whether you need more friends/to socialise more. Surely you know what you want to do?!

CircusBaby · 14/04/2022 22:18

I never socialise, I don't have friends and if I do go somewhere (cinema/meal/theatre it's either on my own or with one of my DC.

Original poster
Alysskea · 14/04/2022 22:25

@NuffSaidSam

I think it's deeply unhelpful to compare yourself to others in this way.

Do what makes you happy.

The only weird thing is needing to do a poll to see whether you need more friends/to socialise more. Surely you know what you want to do?!

I 'want' to socialise more and have a larger social circle but I don't have that. I made the post to work out if not having that makes me some sort of pariah or not.
OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 14/04/2022 22:33

I 'want' to socialise more and have a larger social circle but I don't have that. I made the post to work out if not having that makes me some sort of pariah or not.

No, of course not.

Some people do,.some people don't. It's just personal preference.

But if you know you want things to be different then the next question is, how do you achieve that?

I massively increased my social life and friendship circle recently by A) picking up a new hobby and B) really making the effort to socialise with the new people I met, being the one to make the first move etc.

ImplementingTheDennisSystem · 14/04/2022 22:37

I go to a running club once a week. On top of that I try to do something sociable one evening during the week and always something at the weekend - whether it's dinner, lunch, a coffee, a drink, a walk, a bike ride

Dazedandconfused10 · 14/04/2022 22:39

Weekly, I see my best friend after work once a week minimum, a different group of friends usually one night a fortnight, and then others are monthly/ quarterly but it means I don't more than a couple of days without doing something

FunnysInLaJardin · 14/04/2022 22:42

as little as possible tbh. However I am happily married, 51 and have 2 teen DC so enough at home to keep me happily occupied along with a very busy job

carefullycourageous · 14/04/2022 22:43

Do you not think it is like surveys about sex and some people are doing it loads whilst some are doing it not at all and both ends of the spectrum are 'normal' as well as everything in between?

Personally I socialise as little as possible in the evenings because I was out all the time when I was younger and now my happiest times are at home. Going out would take me away from what I want to do.

I do see friends for lunch fairly often, but overall I am quiet. I am devastated if I get a wedding invitation Grin.

Don't forget as well that extroverts bore on talk more openly about what they have been doing, whilst introverts are, well, quieter.

woodlandnymph · 14/04/2022 22:45

No, not really.

Was hoping to change that but have just had an accident so currently stuck at home. Only people who are aware are DH, my brother and a friend. My friend is coming over next week.

I know people who would be inundated with offers of help and flowers/gifts and that makes me a bit sad.

I've always struggled with the social side of things though and suspect I have inattentive ADHD. I'm definitely not everyone's cup of tea.

The new hobby is a good suggestion. That's what I'm planning to try when I'm up and running again.

FunnysInLaJardin · 14/04/2022 22:45

However, I do speak to my 2 best friends daily on WhatsApp. That is essential.

RagzRebooted · 14/04/2022 22:47

Once every few months.

PlasticPlantsDontDie · 14/04/2022 22:50

2 or 3 times a week.

TokyoTen · 14/04/2022 22:51

Once every 3 to 4 months.

Kite22 · 14/04/2022 22:55

Pre-children, or once you have dc ?

As that makes a massive difference to life

Swipe left for the next trending thread