To ask how often you 'socialise'

[Alysskea]

I'm probably just being neurotic but I am starting to get a complex as all my friends seem to have an enormous social circle, going out every weekend and after work with a ton of friends. On top of that they've got dozens of people to call on if they need to redecorate or something like that.

I have a handful of close friends and don't go out much - working hard and hanging out with me SO.

Am I the weird one?

LuckySantangelo35 I do very rarely meet up with one friend from years ago but that's it. Had a nice circle of friends years ago when I had time to socialise.

Also struck down with health problems, possibly arthritis as well as other chronic health issues.

Quite a lot. Most weekends, I'm a single parent so often it's catching up with family or other friends with kids.

@LuckySantangelo35 don't get me wrong, I like people, I've met some very interesting ones and will no doubt meet many more. I've had some brilliant connections with random strangers, long conversations about life and everything, but they remain singular experiences if that makes sense.

I also know I'm not best suited to romantic relationships either, at least not full on ones. So I'm happy to stay single for the duration now, which some people think means staying celibate but I can assure them it doesn't

I enjoy chatting with my hairdresser it is a social occasion for me as I get peace by myself without children in tow and chat away with her about anything really. It's a time to relax.

Socialising takes many different forms!

I used to a lot when my eldest dc were middle & late primary school age. Less intensity of the early years and a lot of us had shift work so we around some days after school. We were heavily involved in a local community group too. I would say we saw friends (with the kids) 2-3x a week and I probably caught up with a friend every 2 weeks solo, usually for a tea/cake or walk.

Then covid hit, there was mass exodus from the city among our friends a year before and all during covid. Friends move afar (opposite end of the country), a close friend became very ill, people had crisis' and now I really don't regularly see friends at all. It all changed in the last 2/3 years.

I still have friends, but admit there are days I feel more lonely. There's just not people to talk to and laugh with in the same way anymore. Having said that I'm now determined to make the effort to see friends with more regularity. Today we are visiting a dear friends new city (2 hrs away) and will meet at a park and have a picnic.

Of course the more friends you have the more potential social things, though for me & my friendship circle that always includes the dc. But you really can't negate the importance of closer friends who care deeply. Not necessarily a best friend, but I think having a handful of friends who you are close to, can make all the difference in feeling supported.

[quote CircusBaby]@LuckySantangelo35 don't get me wrong, I like people, I've met some very interesting ones and will no doubt meet many more. I've had some brilliant connections with random strangers, long conversations about life and everything, but they remain singular experiences if that makes sense.

I also know I'm not best suited to romantic relationships either, at least not full on ones. So I'm happy to stay single for the duration now, which some people think means staying celibate but I can assure them it doesn't [/quote]
@CircusBaby

“ So I'm happy to stay single for the duration now, which some people think means staying celibate but I can assure them it doesn't grin”

Good on ya!

We have friends/family round for at least one meal every weekend usually Friday dinner or Sunday lunch and then various other quick drinks/book club/cinema.

I also do quite a lot of charity stuff so there’s usually a lunch/event once every 4-6 wks or so and my DDs school is quite active with social stuff.

Rarely, thank God!

Rarely, and I like it that way. We socialise with relatives every few weeks and socialise with friends every few months.

Hardly ever. We used to socialise much more by having friends and their kids round, I would cook a big meal, but it was never ever reciprocated so now I've stopped asking them and we don't see them. That's weird though isnt it? Not asking friends round? I've known them 30 years almost....

I technically have a weekly gaming night though this tends to be more like 1-2 a month though on other weeks we sometimes do things online. We recently opened it to new people and I think that's just made it harder to organize as there seems to always be one of us who is ill or can't make it which puts off other people. However, I'd say these are my spouse's friends and co-workers (my spouse got two of them their jobs).

Really, I've found it easier and more enjoyable to focus less on socializing in the going out or hanging out way even with gaming, and more on what I can do with other people like volunteering. That kind of shared goal helps and really, you don't have to close to people to have people help out. I regularly offer help to those I haven't seen in months if I see they need something I can help with and I've had the same in return. Last year when I moved and the movers fucked us over, I had two people I had been rarely see help us finish. Weak ties can be just as important.

Some people do,.some people don't. It's just personal preference.

I don't think it's /just/ personal preference or we wouldn't had years of writing on the issues of increasing loneliness in society. Personal circumstances, whether you live in an area with structures that support meeting new people, access and other factors come into play as well.

Weekly would be too much for me! Around fortnightly- once a month with DP's friends, once a month with mine.

At least 3 times a week. We love having People over and going out

I like the idea of going out loads, but when it comes to it I just cba

I go out every weekend. Usually one night with my girlfriends and then DH and I will go out together or with friends the other night. I usually see a couple of friends one or two evenings a week as well to swim together or just meet up for a coffee or whatever. It's rare we have a weekend with no plans to see friends.