Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am sick of well off friends moaning about prices

96 replies

ssd · 14/04/2022 08:24

And i know IABU before i start. Everyone is allowed a moan and a complain. I get that. And we never know peoples circumstances. Except sometimes we do, cos either we are related or been friends for years.
We've always lived on a low income and had to be frugal. The new cost of living increases just mean we tighten even further. I have friends who have never had to tighten and in all honesty they still don't. But they are complaining to me how this has gone up and thats gone up and carrying on like its the end of the world for them, when lots of us have lived like this for years. Its the first time theyve ever had to think about money and its like TERRIBLE for them. There just seems no self awareness some of us have been doing this for years. And its pissing me off. But I know IABU so I'm moaning here and biting my tongue.

OP posts:
JanisMoplin · 14/04/2022 08:29

I don't think you are being too AIBU. I am better off than some of my friends and I watch what I say. Though sometimes I slip up. I feel for you.

Tulipblacksmith · 14/04/2022 08:32

I think this photo sums it up. I say this as “old poor” .

Am sick of well off friends moaning about prices
JanisMoplin · 14/04/2022 08:32

For example I suggested a play ( not a West End one, a local theatre one) to a friend who used to go to plays before with me and she told me she can't afford it any more. I could have bitten my tongue. Slip up.

Dolares · 14/04/2022 08:46

My FiL is financially comfortable and he's always moaned about the cost of things. He likes to hunt out 'bargains' and spends a few hundred pounds a week on said bargains. I just let it wash over me and roll my eyes

Itsbackagain · 14/04/2022 08:47

The more money people have the more they spend. Generally bigger houses and cars too along with brand names foodstuffs, clothing etc.. As such unless they're seriously rich the rises in costs will be affecting them too. I have a lot of money (inheritance) and I'm still concerned about the costs because I don't want to eat into my retirement fund which I know I'm very lucky to have.

ReadyToMoveIt · 14/04/2022 08:47

Being charitable, if it’s the first time they’ve had to cut back then it is a bit of a shock to the system.
Best not to go on about it though!

AllOfUsAreDead · 14/04/2022 08:52

Was always expecting this to happen. Wait til the threads on here start op, people complaining that they can't afford two long haul holidays a year. Hmm

Having to cut back on holidays or any luxury is not ever the same as cutting back on food and heating. Ever. Bitch and moan in your head if you're in that situation, not to others. It's just nasty, self centered and makes you look daft.

Strugglingtodomybest · 14/04/2022 08:56

I'm probably like your friends, in that I can absorb the costs of all these rises, but that doesn't mean that the rises aren't shocking, and so I do comment on them and join in when others are talking about them.
I feel angry that they're saying that inflation is at 8% when the costs of food, fuel etc have definitely risen by more.
I worry how people are going to afford to live.
I don't think I moan as such though, I've been poor in the past and still remember what it was like (luckily I love cold baked beans).
Anyway, YANBU to come and vent here and I can see why it's annoying. I will watch what I say more in future now!

CarmenThePanda · 14/04/2022 09:03

People can notice sudden and steep increases and be shocked and comment on it whether or not those increases will push them into hardship.

And there will be people who are struggling even more than you.

notanothertakeaway · 14/04/2022 09:05

Yes, it's tone deaf and insensitive

cloverleafy · 14/04/2022 09:09

It's natural for people to talk about feeling the impact, whatever their starting point. It's also so relative... we can, for now anyway, absorb the rises without big consequences- doesn't stop me noting and talking about it. I'm sure that would frustrate you. Equally, I get annoyed by my parents complaining about the rise when their reality is that it's all a drop in the ocean and will have no real lifestyle impact.

WabbitsAndWeasels · 14/04/2022 09:17

I've grown up like you, on a low income and having to be careful all the time. While I'm slightly better off as a adult I'm still very careful with money and still feel very much like I did when younger.

I think people often live to the extent of their means so they get a mortgage and car that fits their salary (compared to a rental and a 10 year old banger) and they have lovely holidays and a couple of weekends away. Some of those things will likely have to change as a consequence of the price rises so I can also see where they're coming from. However I know this crisis is going to affect people like me more than someone who was comfortable to begin with. They aren't unlikely to be considering a food bank or turning the heating off completely or cutting out a meal for themselves so their kids can have 3 good sized meals.

We're all (except of course the rich) going to be affected by the rising costs just some have better protection against this than others.

Goldenbear · 14/04/2022 09:22

People shouldn't complain about these issues unless they are complaining to people with similar levels of wealth. In our friendship groups we are the ones with the least amount of money but we are still well off and at the moment we are talking about it with them (not excessively) as we were supposed to be moving but now seriously reconsidering. I think we should talk about the potential impacts on the economy of that kind of wealth not been spent as that is going to add to the problems of the distribution of wealth not help by being quiet about it. Complaining to people about not affording a holiday that perhaps have never been abroad or UK holiday for years is obviously not the same thing though and would be inconsiderate.

AnneElliott · 14/04/2022 09:25

I don't think you're BU. Of course people have the right to vent and moan but they need to pick their audience! They shouldn't be saying that to you if they're aware of your financial position.

JustLyra · 14/04/2022 09:29

I think it’s how they moan that’s the key.

Generally complaining about the rising costs - fine. Properly complaining about rising energy costs - fine.

I’ve distanced myself from one friend recently after she interrupted another friend who was talking about feeing humiliated at getting a food bank referral after being left in the lurch by her ex to say she’d had turn off the heating in her hot tub when it wasn’t being used as her husband was cribbing about the cost. The lack of tact was shocking.

Suzi888 · 14/04/2022 09:33

@notanothertakeaway

Yes, it's tone deaf and insensitive
It’s all relative, if you can’t rant on an open forum where can you.

Yes it’s insensitive but 🤷🏼‍♀️ that’s people.

fruitcakepie · 14/04/2022 09:42

It’s all relative though. I would annoy you if I were to tell you there are people far worse off than yourself and you should feel lucky, not moan about how poor you are when you have a roof over your head and free schooling and health care for your children.

ReadyToMoveIt · 14/04/2022 09:43

We’re on the ‘struggling’ end of the scale but I think it’s interesting hearing about how things are affecting those who are better off. The changes being made higher up the scale will have implications for all of us. If wealthier people are cutting down on non essential spend (cleaners, eating out, beauty treatments etc) the impact will trickle down.

fruitcakepie · 14/04/2022 09:48

I know lots of people without a roof over their head but I would never deny you your chance to vent at feeling poor. Equally though , we’ll off people are allowed to feel worried about rising costs too.

fruitcakepie · 14/04/2022 09:49

Well off, not we’ll!

dottydodah · 14/04/2022 09:53

I hear you! We have friends who are millionaires .Just keeping on about how coffee has gone up! Well yes it has ,doubt it will affect them same as someone on min wage though! Couple of holidays abroad ,and a new car appears every so often! Outraged as another friend who helps at her local Foodbank, was saying a chap there declined the jar of coffee and asked for a different one (which they had)So people down on their luck having choices

dottydodah · 14/04/2022 09:54

how dare they!

chopc · 14/04/2022 09:56

YABU - unless people have had wealth handed to them on a plate and never had to struggle or see their parents struggle, they will still appreciate the value of money.

notanothertakeaway · 14/04/2022 09:59

@Suzi888

I wasn't criticising OP for venting here

I meant that her friends were tone deaf and insensitive

PremiumMember1 · 14/04/2022 10:04

My parents are like this, they are very very well off. I'm not, I don't work due to disabilities. Yet they moan and moan and moan about the price of things.
They asked me to come visit them next month and usually they pick me up and drop me back as I can't drive.. yet decided to tell me to book the train and demanded I booked it that day yet moaned when I said I didn't have the money for the train as it had already gone on rent and bills. HmmAngry
They're a bloody nightmare for it yet have 300k + sat in the bank!