Am sick of well off friends moaning about prices

[ssd]

And i know IABU before i start. Everyone is allowed a moan and a complain. I get that. And we never know peoples circumstances. Except sometimes we do, cos either we are related or been friends for years.
We've always lived on a low income and had to be frugal. The new cost of living increases just mean we tighten even further. I have friends who have never had to tighten and in all honesty they still don't. But they are complaining to me how this has gone up and thats gone up and carrying on like its the end of the world for them, when lots of us have lived like this for years. Its the first time theyve ever had to think about money and its like TERRIBLE for them. There just seems no self awareness some of us have been doing this for years. And its pissing me off. But I know IABU so I'm moaning here and biting my tongue.

I'm split, I am careful not to moan too much as some of my friends really struggle. We have been comfortable for the past 6 years but did struggle when we first had children. Now we will struggle again.

Just because your friends appear to be better off than you, doesn’t mean they are not struggling as well.

[quote jazzyjeffs]@Angelswithflirtyfaces....hopefully??? Is that what you want? For EVERYONE to have everything come crashing down. Surely that would be detrimental to the whole of society! Be careful what you wish for! [/quote]
I took @Angelswithflirtyfaces comment to mean that when it affects more people and they are more influential people - as in those with more of a voice and less likely to be written off as only short of money because of poor choices, then something might be done - like voting the Tories out or fear from them they are losing voters and changing policy.

@shabbalabba

YABU they are allowed to notice price increases and react accordingly, wouldn't it be worse if they carried on like nothing was changing??

I certainly made a comment today when I was charged £9 for my grandaughter's fish and chips at the coastm what I have in the bank is irrelevant!

I think some of the prices do feel like a pisstake, of course they are going to complain. You don't have to be struggling to resent having to spend significantly over your usual budget. They'd have to be rother phenomenly rich, so that someone else sorts all that OR stupid to not be aware of price hikes right now

@JudgeJ my thoughts exactly!!

@Springdaisy

Its hard somtimes. I have friends who have to really turn every penny and cant always afford to heat etc. Then i have a friend who complained to me the other day because they couldnt afford gas for their private jet, so she had to fly long distance in a normal plane (first class). But to her horror there was other people and security she had to go through etc. I dont like discussing financials, only with people who are similar off to me or very close to me like family. Otherwise one party is bount to feel bad.

Her diamond shoes must be so tight. Wtf.

I think it’s a matter of self awareness and sensitivity. Everyone has problems regardless of their circumstances. Everyone has the right to moan/express themselves and certainly if it’s online, within a trusted friend group and done with self awareness it’s all good.

What I have a problem with is when people who know me and especially those related to me complain about things that are ridiculous in comparison to my experiences and they complain TO ME. Obviously in a group of people it’s just irritating as hell but hey, that’s life and I can leave/distance myself.

Sometimes it’s a case of no self awareness or awareness/empathy for others. It is totally true that there will always be someone worse off in some way. Does that mean we should all censor ourselves and never complain? No, but obviously if you are well off it is short sighted to complain to someone who has had that exact same struggle every day of their lives. There’s a good chance that if they’re your friend they don’t begrudge or envy you, but complaining is taking it too far and makes you look silly and entitled.

A slim, fit person should know not to complain to an overweight person about the one inch of fat they put on recently.

A wealthy person living in a 5 bedroom mansion should know not to complain to their relative struggling in a one bedroom flat, that they can’t afford a second holiday/holiday abroad or to heat their bedrooms properly.

Just as I would not complain about the mould in my front room to that guy I speak to who is currently homeless.

Extreme examples. We could all potentially do it though. Self awareness so that you don’t act like an insensitive, entitled dick is not the same as censoring yourself.

If the shoe is on the other foot, I don’t actually begrudge people who are better off financially. Far too busy and don’t think that way; nor do I complain to them about my problems at all come to think of it.

It’s funny how little I hear poor people actually complaining.

Cash poor asset rich? Debt rich?

I was thinking about this tonight in Tesco, looking at my basket of bits and pieces (treats). I paid £11 for a lemon drizzle cake, a punnet of strawberries, 4 choc eclairs, a box of 6 ice lollies (grandkids coming tomorrow), 2 pts milk, and a multi- pack of crisps. I thought that was good value for money. But maybe not? Or have I gone completely off course?

I reserve the right to express horror, on my own behalf or on behalf of those who might really struggle, at the way lots of essential things have jumped in price. It doesn't mean I'm trying to pretend I'm in the same situation as someone who has to choose between heating and eating, just that I'm not oblivious to what's happening around me.

People who could buy and sell most of us pretending to be skint are always annoying.

@TheFlis12345

I am a bit hacked off that material costs have gone up so our garden renovation is going to cost about 20% more, but I wouldn’t bloody mention it to anyone who I wasn’t 100% sure was in a similar place financially.

yes we are having our bathroom done which is pretty essential . (think tiles coming off the walls, a cracked and broken sink and leaking shower and it is our only bathroom).

We have been saving for this since we bought the house 4.5 years ago (when the sink was only cracked and not broken and fewer wall tiles were broken but it was pretty shabby even then) and have a budget that is now not going to be enough. We have enough to cover the shortfall from our holiday budget but it going to be quite a lot more so our nice holiday is not on the cards this year. I haven't of course mentioned this to anyone outside of an anonymous forum to close family who I share this with as I know we are in similar financial positions and some people can't afford basics like food at the moment.

@Dillydollydingdong

I was thinking about this tonight in Tesco, looking at my basket of bits and pieces (treats). I paid £11 for a lemon drizzle cake, a punnet of strawberries, 4 choc eclairs, a box of 6 ice lollies (grandkids coming tomorrow), 2 pts milk, and a multi- pack of crisps. I thought that was good value for money. But maybe not? Or have I gone completely off course?

Well you know of course that this invites people to say that they only have £11 to feed them the rest of the month while you fritter that amount away on treat foods.

@chopc

YABU - unless people have had wealth handed to them on a plate and never had to struggle or see their parents struggle, they will still appreciate the value of money.

I agree with this. I really do. Our household is very fortunate in that we are very secure financially, but gosh the price increases are obviously quite profound. I don’t see that it’s a bad thing if someone comments on this.

I worry about money a lot! I always will and that’s because I grew up in a financially unstable household and never got any help from anyone (fair enough - most people don’t) and so I know what it’s like to have almost no food to hand, phone being cut off etc.

No amount of money that I could ever earn/win will change that either.

@Haffiana

If people want to moan they can moan. If people want to share that they’re enjoying themselves they can do that too. I dont like this direction that only those who consider themselves at the bottom have any right to feel anything at all. It’s all relative.

This.

Every single person on this forum has access to the internet. Every single person is able to articulate what they want to say.

No-one here is remotely close to the bottom, but they honestly seem to think that they are entitled to tell others that they are not allowed to speak because 'they have no idea and it is tone deaf etc'. It only serves to bolster them from their own gross hypocrisy.

It is exactly the same mentality as the self proclaimed lockdown police, curtain-twitching away at all those who weren't doing the misery as properly and thoroughly as themselves.

Preach! Price rises affect literally everyone. Sure, it’s worse for some, but if you can’t talk to your friends about the exact impact it has on your life then either a) you really are tone deaf or b) you are not good friends

YANBU there was someone on here a few days ago ‘worrying’ about the rising cost of a Waitrose shop. I actually thought it might be satire but pretty sure they were being serious.

YABU. People should be able to gripe at rising costs regardless of how financially comfortable they are. It’s so dismissive to think that unless you’re on the breadline you can’t be affected/. And I include holidays in that. Anyone who is experiencing a change in lifestyle because of rising costs is entitled to be pissed off and say so. Don’t begrudge others having more disposable income. No one is suggesting that missing a holiday is causing the same hardship as not being able to buy food or fuel. When people moan about missing out on what you consider a luxury, they’re not saying it to piss you off. It’s not personal and it’s not about you.

I don't think commenting on price increases is the same as saying you can't afford the increases. I think anybody can think £x is too much for that. Anybody can decide they aren't buying something they consider overpriced. How much money they have isn't relevant when discussing price increases. It's not the same as complaining that your shares are only giving you annual dividends of £100,000.

Are you sure they're that well off? I say that as we look well off compared to my friends but thanks to corona are up to our eyeballs in debt and can barely afford our mortgage now but can't move as can't get another mortgage at all even on a cheaper property (main income self employed). So our earnings are good but only just enough for our outgoings and we had to borrow emergency money at start of pandemic which now needs paying back. Our income has more than halved in the last 2 years and that's with 2 incomes now whereas previously it was just one. Very worried about losing the house thanks to rising energy and fuel bills.

Just saying things aren't always what they seem.

Also I still count myself as old poor as although we "made it" it was short lived.

I may be quite bitter about this.

bellac11 it won't help anyone else who's struggling, if I choose not to treat my dgc though, will it?

@Dillydollydingdong

bellac11 it won't help anyone else who's struggling, if I choose not to treat my dgc though, will it?

No, and I wouldnt suggest it, I just know that others would.