Am sick of well off friends moaning about prices

[ssd]

And i know IABU before i start. Everyone is allowed a moan and a complain. I get that. And we never know peoples circumstances. Except sometimes we do, cos either we are related or been friends for years.
We've always lived on a low income and had to be frugal. The new cost of living increases just mean we tighten even further. I have friends who have never had to tighten and in all honesty they still don't. But they are complaining to me how this has gone up and thats gone up and carrying on like its the end of the world for them, when lots of us have lived like this for years. Its the first time theyve ever had to think about money and its like TERRIBLE for them. There just seems no self awareness some of us have been doing this for years. And its pissing me off. But I know IABU so I'm moaning here and biting my tongue.

These are your friends, and friends should be able to talk to each other about things that are affecting them.

Is it insensitive every time someone talks about a problem that others have experienced before or is it only insensitive when it comes to money?

The way you feel is understandable and it’s good that you recognise yabu, but your friends aren’t doing anything wrong.

YANBU, and I get the same feeling about Mumsnet. There are lots of threads from people who are almost.. revelling in being frugal, whilst humbly mentioning that luckily their house is almost paid off and of course their pensions are secure. It is as if they want a cosy chat about how difficult things are financially, while all the while knowing they don't really need to worry.

@ReadyToMoveIt can see the bigger picture and is spot on regarding money and the impact when better off people spend less.

The extra on life’s essentials like food, energy and petrol can be absorbed. But we are tightening. Last year I bought a bespoke expensive item from a very small family business. I wouldn’t buy it now.

I was going to completely refurb my sitting room but now I’m not replacing everything, I would also like some ceilings plastered but they aren’t dangerous so we are leaving it.

I’m exactly the kind of person who wont actually suffer but am being more careful.

But people should be careful picking their audience.

One difference I have noticed between DH and I. He has never known what’s it’s like to be poor or struggle in his entire life I on the other hand have and remember being hungry as a child. The rises worry me far more because I have been there.

YABU they are allowed to notice price increases and react accordingly, wouldn't it be worse if they carried on like nothing was changing??

It doesn’t bother me, there’s always someone worse off, so no one would ever be able to complain. Everyone has problems, sure some peoples problems are that their private plane needs repairs or their third house has flooded, but it’s still their problem. If my friends have a problem, any problem, I listen.

So really, if we apply your reasoning to its logical conclusion, what everyone on the planet should do is find the one person (out of the billions who populate the world) who is objectively the least well off and permit that single person to moan? And everyone else should shut up about their own circumstances because in comparison they are not that badly off? OK.

@notanothertakeaway

Yes, it's tone deaf and insensitive

Yet if one doesn't engage in the complaining about price increases the response if often a snarky 'It's all right for you though isn't it, sitting there, quiet and smug' . There are always people on the look out for an easy target for their aggression.

Ex-husband complaining about the price of heating oil, he turned the heating off as it was too expensive. Next breath, he's telling me when he's next 3 holidays are booked for

YABU.

Of course people are going to comment on the rises, its unprecedented.

Obviously they aren't affected as much as people who have already had to tighten their belts, but the current rises are too high that they wont be noticed or commented on.

I think that no matter your financial situation, price rises are going to be felt and I think it's ok for anyone to talk about that.

Though there's a selection of people who like to talk about poor choices and lack of hard work in relation to low income and expenditure and I do wonder how they would react to being told their own advice about living within your means, cutting your cloth accordingly, making better choices and taking responsibility, because for some it seems like different rules for different incomes -

Poor and feeling the price rises? Well you should live within your means and don't have the right to expect any standard of living, work a bit harder and take responsibility!

Well off and feeling the price rises? It's all not fair and it shouldn't be happening.

Everyone will notice the rise in costs and it's a huge subject of interest so of course people will talk about it however I do think that we all need to remember that not everyone will be affected on the same level and that people need to be mindful of that fact.

I have friends who are a lot more comfortable than me some really well off but over the years I've had to internally giggle to myself when they've complained about being skint after splurging on themselves be it a new car or a big holiday as to me and thousands of others that's not being skint.

My reality is that I'm deeply concerned about the costs and crippling increases but I'm well aware that I'm very lucky and grateful for the roof over my head and the food on my table but one pay packet away from my world crumbling beneath my feet. Before anyone throws out what about savings we'll before covid we had some savings but with DH bring furloughed on the bare minimum and me being SE they've long gone as we had to use them to survive and now we're in a position of just about keeping our heads above water and no chance of saving with costs rising.

I think it's fine for anyone to comment on rising prices. I'm not rich but I'm more at the upper end of the scale. Higher prices means I'm less likely to spend money in the businesses in my town or get hair done etc. That will have a knock on negative effect. For example, I hada spa night booked but had to cancel it because two unexpected expenses came in. That will now affect that local business.

Its hard somtimes. I have friends who have to really turn every penny and cant always afford to heat etc. Then i have a friend who complained to me the other day because they couldnt afford gas for their private jet, so she had to fly long distance in a normal plane (first class). But to her horror there was other people and security she had to go through etc.
I dont like discussing financials, only with people who are similar off to me or very close to me like family. Otherwise one party is bount to feel bad.

@Springdaisy

Its hard somtimes. I have friends who have to really turn every penny and cant always afford to heat etc. Then i have a friend who complained to me the other day because they couldnt afford gas for their private jet, so she had to fly long distance in a normal plane (first class). But to her horror there was other people and security she had to go through etc. I dont like discussing financials, only with people who are similar off to me or very close to me like family. Otherwise one party is bount to feel bad.

This is hideous! WTF.

Indeed best not to discuss financials ever.

But surely you can say that things have gone up without being on the breadline?
I went to the farm shop and got some tulips, they’ve gone up to £6. Am I not allowed to share that?

I can totally understand why you find it frustrating and insensitive if they are generally well off.

One thing I would say is that ultimately price increases will have wider reaching implications that affect us all in various ways - for example, I work for a small business that sells a product/service you could define as a "luxury" item (definitely not an essential, but in my opinion definitely great value for money for what it is and improves peoples lives). People like your friends are the people who keep our business going - that spare £30 or £50 a month they've had and been able to spend on our product keeps me and my colleague in jobs, and our business in turn keeps our suppliers' businesses going. I've already seen other small businesses closing down as orders have decreased while costs of running a business keep going up. Hairdressers, cleaners, cafes, restaurants, artists and many others will be affected if the people who've previously had spare spending money are now paying it all to big utility companies and supermarkets that can increase their shareholders' profits instead. That's a pretty depressing outcome.

I think people are going to talk about having to cut back, its the people who are telling me, that the press have blown it out of proportion that I have an issue with.

No, you are just comfortable enough for it not to affect you as much as someone who was counting the pennies before all the hikes,

It's concerning. We need higher earners to have spare money to spend as that's what our economy is based on. I remember the last recession well and it really wasn't pretty. If something doesn't change I don't see how we can avoid another one. And that affects everyone

@TabithaTittlemouse

But surely you can say that things have gone up without being on the breadline? I went to the farm shop and got some tulips, they’ve gone up to £6. Am I not allowed to share that?

It’s about the context though.

In a general chat about costs - yes absolutely fine.

When you’re sat with someone who had to go to the food bank - rather insensitive

I think it depends what you say, i. e "cannot believe the cost of butter" I doubt would offend many people because you are stating a fact, but if you start moaning about not being able to afford more luxurious goods / services such as the latest technological device or gym memberships that becomes pretty insensitive especially if are in company of people from different socio-economic backgrounds.

There are some people who are really struggling at my work so I would never complain that I cannot afford my yoga classes. The cost of living has affected me but I still can afford the basics, I have just cut back on the luxuries. I was in a worst position financially when I was a solo mum 10-20 years ago so I know its difficult to listen to other people ranting about what could be described as rich person's problems.

YANBU, at all. People are allowed a moan, of course, but they could choose their audience with a bit more sensitivity.

I'm financially comfortable (although haven't always been) but I don't really want to spend my disposable income on toilet roll - so I will moan about price rises from time to time.

@JustLyra absolutely I agree but op didn’t mention foodbanks. Recent posts on here seem to say that it’s unfair to mention price increases unless you are completely broke.

YANBU I know someone who moans about money all the time. She has over £1500 "fun" money a month and no money worries apart from running out of said fun money. She rants on about it in front of a lovely friend who's wrapped up in jumpers in her cold house as she's choosing food over fuel. She can't read the room and needs to wind her neck in.