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Being annoyed by friend judging name choices
109

87beck · 13/04/2022 11:50

Our second son was born a few weeks ago and we decided to name him Jack

My friend met him for the first time yesterday and decided to inform me that her DH has commented that if they ever have a boy, jack would've been the last name on their list as it's associated with bad behaved boys etc and it's just not "a cool name" & also said that my first boys name isn't cool and why do we go for such simplistic names ..?

It might just be the postpartum hormones but I'm soooo angry she decided to share this with me .. wtf !
I Didn't say anything but my DH said next time he will see them he will mention the unnecessary comment.
I would never judge anyone's name choices so I'm super angry that behind close doors they bitch about my boys names 🥲 not in a rush to meet up with her again

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DontStopMeNow7 · 13/04/2022 13:22

It’s a great name. I’d distance myself from anyone who said something like that. Apart from the rudeness it sounds a bit stuck up and unnecessarily opinionated. So rather than stay annoyed and say anything about it, I’d be backing away.

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bunsnroses1 · 13/04/2022 13:24

I'd love to hear her ideas of 'cool names'.
Jack's a great name x

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2bazookas · 13/04/2022 13:25

She's a bitch. You need to re-examine the meaning of "friend" then get a lot pickier.

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Bootothegoose · 13/04/2022 13:25

Ignore her the daft cow, she's jealous you used the name before she did.

For what is worth Jack is an AMAZING name! Timeless, malleable for all walks and ages and was one of our top contenders!

I've also never met a Jack who wasn't a lovely boy/guy!

It's also quite odd for parents to choose the name on how 'cool' they are. Geoffrey and Bryan were once cool names. Some names age hideously - Jack isn't one of them.

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BlueSuffragette · 13/04/2022 13:27

Great name. Rude friend. Flowers

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ThreeRingCircus · 13/04/2022 13:28

Why would she tell you that?? She can judge all she likes in the privacy of her own home (or better yet, inside her head!) but what the fuck was she hoping to achieve by telling you? It serves absolutely no purpose other than to upset you, which she must have known.

Exactly this. People have all sorts of opinions on baby names, it's a subject that can often divide although I'd have thought Jack is about as normal and inoffensive a name you can get. Why she said it to you though is a mystery. She is either extremely nasty or extremely thick and to be honest I don't think I could be friends with someone who thought it appropriate to speak that way.

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Crunchymum · 13/04/2022 13:29

Congratulations on your baby Jack.

It's a good, solid, strong name. Along the lines of my DS's name actually. It's a lovely name.

If this is a good friend, who is never usually a bitch then I'd wonder if her comments were coming from her being inappropriate bad place? Does she have children at all? Could they be struggling in that respect. It's no excuse for such rudeness but it could be a reason.

If it were me and one of my good friends I'd have to raise it. Nothing too aggressive just something along the lines of "you've been really negative about the boys names, which is unlike you. Is everything okay?"

Challenge her without challenging her. I'm sure you've got much more important things to be doing but don't brush this aside to keep the peace. It was rude and cruel.

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lurkingfromhome · 13/04/2022 13:33

This woman is not your friend. Bad enough that her husband said unkind things but the ONLY reason she would have for repeating them to you is because she wanted to make you feel small and crap about yourself. That, OP, is no one you want in your life.

And Jack is a beautiful classic name but it's hardly the point here.

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LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus · 13/04/2022 13:34

@surlycurly

I'm a teacher and lots of Jacks a lovely boys- not badly behaved at all. And it could have been worse- the day I had my son I told my mum his name and asked if she like it and she said 'no, I hate it actually. It's unlucky'. That one has kind of stuck with me if I'm honest!

Is it Jonah? My son is called Jonah and my mum said that!
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Irridescantshimmmer · 13/04/2022 13:34

YANBU
With a friend like that, who needs enemies.

Grossly insensitive, even more so because you have just given birth.

I think you deserve an apology because their comments have caused offence.

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LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus · 13/04/2022 13:34

And Jack is a nice name, I've never known a horrible Jack.

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ElsieMc · 13/04/2022 13:35

What on earth is wrong with Jack? I hope my dd will pick this as a middle name for a son at some time as it was my dad's name. We all have rather awful sixties/seventies names in the family - Elsie is my favourite aunt's name.

I am guilty of commenting on my dd's daughter's name but I was invited to. It is somewhat unusual! Can't say I have ever come round to it, but it's not my choice - I've already had mine. What an insensitive so called friend you have. You find out who your friends are when you are a little bit down or hormones raging op. Phase her out, you only have time for people who make you feel good now.

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DarkCorner · 13/04/2022 13:40

What?! That's such a horribly mean and rude thing to say about a new baby's name! Is she always like that?

Fwiw, Jack is a lovely timeless classic name and definitely "cool" and not "naughty" to me.

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Bootothegoose · 13/04/2022 13:45

@LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus

My MIL said our daughter's nickname was embarrassing to say! She has a very popular girls name but goes by a diminutive that is common for boys - along the lines of Olivia - Ollie or Stephanie - Stevie. It was years ago now but I've never forgotten it!

Also your username is fantastic!

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Whose · 13/04/2022 13:46

Christ, I thought you were going to say you'd named your son Sprinkle or something.
Nothing wrong with Jack, it's a great name. Your friend is rude and clearly would have preferred Sprinkle, or Sunset or Sapling or something.
Ignore.

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Bootothegoose · 13/04/2022 13:50

@Whose

Christ, I thought you were going to say you'd named your son Sprinkle or something.
Nothing wrong with Jack, it's a great name. Your friend is rude and clearly would have preferred Sprinkle, or Sunset or Sapling or something.
Ignore.

Sprinkle made me snort. Honestly not as bad as some of the names I've heard from extended family and friends.

Baby BJ was a corker as was little Chaos. I shit you not - Chaos.
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greenlynx · 13/04/2022 13:53

I don’t think that it’s out of date name, I think it’s classic name and a really nice one.
She was very rude to comment on your choice of names at all and even more to bitch behind your back with her DH and then telling you about it. I wouldn’t meet up with her anymore, she clearly doesn’t like you.
By the way, so they don’t have a son, do they? I wonder if they are jealous, especially her DH.

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MargaritasOnMe · 13/04/2022 13:55

She's horrible. I'm a teacher and really like the name Jack. It's not a 'naughty' name at all. In fact, I'd have liked it for ds1 but DH has quite a few relatives with the name so we felt we couldn't use it. Anyway, just ignore her! And congratulations!

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Arucanafeather · 13/04/2022 14:01

@Llamapolice

That is rude. It's a golden etiquette rule of my mum's to never comment negatively on a baby's name or appearance! Saying that if she's not usually like that I'd just leave it now.

I live by that rule too. I was on my knees emotionally after having our second and when I showed him to a friend who’d come to stay when he was a couple of weeks old and asked if they through he looked like his sibling, she replied “he looked like ET”. It was such a shock and made me realise she often said bitchy things to me over the years. Totally changed how I felt about our friendship and it’s never recovered.
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EmeraldShamrock1 · 13/04/2022 14:02

Her boyfriend is absolutely ridiculous.

My uncle Jack was an absolute gentleman my nephew Jack is at University on a placement studying biological and chemical sciences.

I don't think much of your friend sharing the information, we all hear stupid things regularly to then pass on the stupidity makes her a definite knob.

Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful boy. 🎊 👏

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Silversprinkles · 13/04/2022 14:04

Jack is a classic strong name, been top 10 for ages for a reason - it's a solid name that works with all ages/jobs etc and isn't a "trend". And the behaviour/name thing is (a) completely absurd anyway and (b) certainly not true for the Jacks I know who are great kids.

But even if you had named your boy Hoopla-Doopla-DingDong, when you meet a post partum Mum and new baby the ONLY thing to say is how lovely her new baby is and the name suits them/is great. Any discussion if ever, is before birth if and only IF they've asked for your advice/opinion. Not after birth and name announced. They've been named, it's not going to change, and if you say something rude it will never be forgotten.

Your friend is rude and hurtful. I would think long and hard about meeting up again.

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DisforDarkChocolate · 13/04/2022 14:09

I love Jack. Excellent name.

You're friend is an arse.

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Ourlady · 13/04/2022 14:21

Your friend is a nasty cow. I would be keeping my distance from her. She is no friend!

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Graphista · 13/04/2022 14:22

Rude cow!

Ignore!

She clearly has issues that are nothing you've caused.

Jack is a perfectly good, solid name. But even if the name was Agamemnon or whatever you don't comment on peoples name choices for their kids!

I'm one of a LOT of cousins and the names of our dc range from the simple to the sublime and ridiculous! Makes no difference to what the children are like! That's down to parenting

There are some of the parents with perfectly normal straightforward names for their dc and the dc are unusual in their hobbies, interests etc and some other children have less common names and the dc are quite conservative quiet kids

My brother and his 1st wife chose what was then a fairly unusual name for their son (it's since become very common actually funnily enough), my mum said nothing to them but asked me if it was a "real name" Grin

She's not a bad person she just hadn't heard it before and thought it a little odd. She adores him and is very proud of him as she is all her grandchildren.

I chose what I thought was a not too common name for dd - then thr following bloody year due to a fall celeb having the name it exploded! So when she started nursery there were loads with the same name! You can't predict these things.

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Oysterbabe · 13/04/2022 14:24

It's a lovely name imo. My grandfather was Jack, my adult nephew is called Jack and my friend has a new baby Jack. It's classic and timeless.

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