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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask how I check the money politely?

154 replies

Scienceseeker · 13/04/2022 11:09

Lady coming to collect something for over £200. She’s paying cash.

How do I say politely I want to check the money before handing the item over?

OP posts:
LaDamaDeElche · 14/04/2022 19:13

The most British thread ever 😂. Just count it, same as they do in shops. You're selling something and she's buying it. Counting it is completely normal and you don't need to find a polite way to do it.

Underfrighter · 14/04/2022 19:29

It's in both your interests to count the money and for her to check the item. Just say you'll just be a minute and double check and would she like to look over the item and check it's all as expected / works in the mean time?

janj2301 · 14/04/2022 19:29

much older than you lot, no drink with meals, girls had to help with housework, boys the allotment and getting in coal. Also sitting in smoke filled pubs, hiding under the table when the local booby popped in, staying up as long as we wanted on non school nights, went out at first light back when the street lights came on on non school days. Buying booze and fags for the adults. I know I was truely loved but there was really no discipline/control

Tigger1895 · 14/04/2022 19:32

@Scienceseeker

I don’t have any way to check if it’s fake, I just meant count it out!
If you hand over money in tesco do they not count it? Why would you think it’s rude for you to check?
TheMoreYouKnow · 14/04/2022 19:35

Hate to say this but theres been a spate of people using fake notes to buy stuff off Gumtree. Shame you can't get one of those note checkers online in time.

EthelMerman · 14/04/2022 19:47

Always count it out. We had some work done, the plasterer was always upfront about counting it out. Protected us both, no risk of under/over payments and ill-feelings.

Can you Google what to look for in counterfeit notes, odds on they’re fine but doesn’t hurt to check.

CrankyFrankie · 14/04/2022 20:02

In her position, I would always count it out really intentionally/clearly/carefully into your hand and tbh I wouldn’t even notice/care if you double-checked it.

SeedyBloomer · 14/04/2022 20:38

The less fuss made the better. Take it and say ‘let me just check’ . Ideally, they should count it out as they hand it to you, like they do in a bank. You have to check - nothing wrong with doing so.

Sarah13xx · 14/04/2022 20:41

My hairdresser is so lovely but says every time ‘oh do you want me to check it?’ so that it appears I think it might be wrong when actually I know it’s right and I know she’s checking it to check I’ve given her enough because I’m sure lots of people get it wrong on a daily basis 😂 I just love the way she tries to make it like she’s checking it for my benefit though, just try to spin it like that.. ‘oh I don’t want you to have given me too much’

BronskiBeaten · 14/04/2022 21:29

Politeness isn’t what matters here. I worked in a bank and our mantra was “an honest customer has no issue with us checking their deposit/identity”.

Abaababa · 14/04/2022 22:08

@BeforeGodAndAllTheFish

You've never worked in a shop, have you?

It isnt a big deal. You take the money, count it, swipe each with the checking pen. Takes 20 seconds and is just totally normal.

Why would it be any different just because it's a private sale? You still count and swipe with the pen.

You're a bit silly to not have a pen to check it though. There are a lot of fake £20 around at the moment.

What shop have you worked in, a pawn shop? 😜😂Grin
toxic44 · 15/04/2022 00:04

Whenever anyone - anyone - gives me money, I smile, thank them and count it immediately, putting each note down separately: 'Twenty, forty, sixty, eighty. (etc) Perfect, thank you.'
Nobody has ever found it strange.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 15/04/2022 10:15

When I'm paying I'd rather the person counted it instead of them calling later claiming it was short. Nothing wrong with double checking, well done OP.

TechGuy · 15/04/2022 12:40

When I buy something in this kind of situation, I'm much happier if the seller counts the money in front of me. Then I know I'm not going to be halfway back to the car when he/she calls after me to say "Hey it's €20 short!!" - and maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
Seriously - that "polite" thing where we are taught from childhood to deliberately put the money/envelope in your pocket uncounted is really only for relations or friends, that says "I trust you", and even there I'd count out the money while handing it to them just to be sure we don't fall out through a mistake.

iklboo · 15/04/2022 12:45

If I'm the buyer I count it out to the seller myself, but if I didn't I wouldn't be offended if you checked it in front of me.

WinterDeWinter · 15/04/2022 13:27

@IcedOatLatte - yes, they BIN and then collect.

WinterDeWinter · 15/04/2022 13:28

Or if they really want to pay cash, tell them that you will not be reducing the price under any circumstances.

007Stocko · 15/04/2022 13:51

Just don't make a thing of it. Simply accept the money then count it. No explanation or apology required.

me109f · 16/04/2022 04:12

Don't be embarrassed, checking the amount is to be expected, it won't take a minute unless they are paying in different note values and coin.
Check also the feel of some of the notes, and look for the security marks on some of them. I have always used cash for things like cars. Count it in front of them and just be polite and businesslike. If they 'count it for you' it is very easy for them to shortchange you, it is a commonly practiced skill called palming.. Count it over again if you feel uncertain. With modern photocopiers slick double-sided printing can be done for some of the notes to 'pad it out'.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 17/04/2022 10:34

@BeforeGodAndAllTheFish

You've never worked in a shop, have you?

It isnt a big deal. You take the money, count it, swipe each with the checking pen. Takes 20 seconds and is just totally normal.

Why would it be any different just because it's a private sale? You still count and swipe with the pen.

You're a bit silly to not have a pen to check it though. There are a lot of fake £20 around at the moment.

What pens are these?!?
Parpophone · 17/04/2022 10:46

Thank goodness the OP is getting all these helpful suggestions when she received (and counted) the correct money 4 days ago

Ikeptgoing · 17/04/2022 10:47

@Sexnotgender

YANBU. Just, give me a minute while I check everything is in order should suffice.
This ^^

It's not rude to count out money you have been given to check it. Shops wouldn't apologise for doing so. It is part of contract of sale, the buyer will check item, you will check the money she or he hands over.

Ikeptgoing · 17/04/2022 10:50

Apologies OP , the thread didn't download all of the messages, it's all done now and she counted it out in-front of you. Good!

Don't ever apologise for counting money out to check you have been given the right amount if you are selling something..

Mistakes can be made, deliberate or not.

Ikeptgoing · 17/04/2022 10:53

@Parpophone

Thank goodness the OP is getting all these helpful suggestions when she received (and counted) the correct money 4 days ago
Yes it's frustrating but sometimes the app doesn't download all the messages to the end or there's a delay in that, so it looks like you've RTFT when you haven't.

Anyway it's all done now and OP did see it counted out and won't feel embarrassed to do so herself in the future.

ginghamstarfish · 17/04/2022 11:11

Agree, perfectly fine to count in front of the person. I've been selling a lot of stuff on FB recently and at first was too polite to do this. The first was £1 short, the next was £5 short so I called and asked her to return with the £5. Yes it could be an error but some of them will be CFs. Now I count everything before they leave.

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