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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask how I check the money politely?

154 replies

Scienceseeker · 13/04/2022 11:09

Lady coming to collect something for over £200. She’s paying cash.

How do I say politely I want to check the money before handing the item over?

OP posts:
IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 13/04/2022 11:37

"Just let me check you haven't put too much in - you know easily these notes get stuck together awkward laugh!"

Emmelina · 13/04/2022 11:39

I’ll just make sure you’ve not given me too much - lovely, hope you enjoy it!

babywalker56 · 13/04/2022 11:40

You're a bit silly to not have a pen to check it though. There are a lot of fake £20 around at the moment.

I was going to say this! I know it’s harder to forge the new notes in comparison to the older paper ones but £200 in cash is quite a lot. Would have been handy to have a pen to double check the notes!

Anyways, no need to apologise or say ‘no offence’ or anything like that. Just start counting the cash and give her whatever she’s bought. Think you may be overthinking

Butchyrestingface · 13/04/2022 11:40

No-one has ever apologised to me for counting money out in front of me. Wouldn't occur to me to be offended by it.

Makes good sense, especially since I can't count for shit and it's just as likely I'll have OVERpaid them by £100 as underpaid. Grin

Whatsthestoryboringglory · 13/04/2022 11:40

I always say “£250 wasn’t it, please check that I’ve counted right just in case” when I hand over the cash. Avoids messy scenes later.

Don’t really need to say anything, just count before you hand over the item.

BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 13/04/2022 11:41

@whywhythough

You now get UV light pens at the correct frequency. You swipe/point/wave it at the note and you'll see a number appear on the note.

OneTC · 13/04/2022 11:42

I never exchange money with anyone without checking then and there. If someone didn't count money before they handed it over I'd be slightly suspicious Grin

RunnerDuck2020 · 13/04/2022 11:43

If I was the buyer I would expect you to count it! It covers you both that way.

AffIt · 13/04/2022 11:43

As others have said, just count the cash in front of her - it's a transaction between strangers, she has no reason to take offence.

I would recommend getting one of those anti-fraud pens, though - I think you can pick them up quite easily and cheaply online.

whywhythough · 13/04/2022 11:46

[quote BeforeGodAndAllTheFish]@whywhythough

You now get UV light pens at the correct frequency. You swipe/point/wave it at the note and you'll see a number appear on the note.[/quote]

Oh I had no idea, I remember it being a pita at the time but I have long since stopped dealing with cash!

EggBurger · 13/04/2022 11:49

I expect people to count the money I pay them. I actually ask them to check it's all there so we're both happy. It's normal to check money you're being paid.

godmum56 · 13/04/2022 11:52

I have actually miscounted when I paid somebody. I had the money ready and handed it over they didn't check it and when I got home I found that I still had extra in my wallet! I was mortified, texted them immediately and went straight back to pay the balance. Nice man (I knew him, he had worked for me before) was just like "oh ok....I just shoved it in the cash tin."

MarriedThreeChildren · 13/04/2022 11:54

You do the same thing than in a shop.
Take the money with a smile, count it in front of her and then smile and say than you.
Then hand the object over to her.

You're making it complicated when it shouldn't :)

Daisiesunderblueskies · 13/04/2022 11:57

Just say, 'would you like to check over the item to make sure you're happy?' and as they do so, you count the money. Then everyone is happy.

1forAll74 · 13/04/2022 12:00

If it was me paying you some money, I would count my money out in front of you, so you could see it was all there. I always do this.

Original poster
Scienceseeker · 13/04/2022 12:02

Thanks all. All sorted. She counted the money out infront of me, I double checked it once she’d gone. Wink

OP posts:
VapeVamp12 · 13/04/2022 12:02

Why do you need to be polite? Coz you're a woman?

No because it's POLITE. FFS not everything is a feminist issue.

AHungryCaterpillar · 13/04/2022 12:03

Just check it, my mum was handed money for something she sold online and she put it straight into her pocket 🙄 (it was all fake!)

DenholmElliot · 13/04/2022 12:09

Just say "lets count it out together to check it", thats all you've got to say and then count it in front of her.

FayKnights · 13/04/2022 12:11

If you feel embarrassed counting it, imagine how even cringier you will feel if it’s short and you need to then chase for the missing money!

Regularsizedrudy · 13/04/2022 12:14

@VapeVamp12

Why do you need to be polite? Coz you're a woman?

No because it's POLITE. FFS not everything is a feminist issue.

Oh crawl back under your rock. How often do you think men apologise for counting out notes?
starfishmummy · 13/04/2022 12:15

I'd probably count it out as I gave it to the seller and say "I think that's what we agreed".

Robin843 · 13/04/2022 12:15

I'm always buying stuff on fb marketplace and paying cash. I expect the seller to check the money! I'm sure everyone expects the seller to count the money, so don't worry about it.

Walkingthedog46 · 13/04/2022 12:17

When I’ve bought stuff on the local selling site I always insist the seller checks the money before I leave. Surprisingly, most people say “No, it’s alright”, but I still insist that they do. It’s as much as my protection as theirs!

FayKnights · 13/04/2022 12:17

Sorry, just saw your update! She is probably a MNetters 😁