AIBU to ask how I check the money politely?

[Scienceseeker]

Lady coming to collect something for over £200. She’s paying cash.

How do I say politely I want to check the money before handing the item over?

smile while you are counting it & say "Just checking you haven't put an extra note in" (translation - the opposite but with tact)

I work on a checkout and l check the notes!
The new ones tend to stick together. I've been given one or two too many more than once.
Just say "I'll just check this so we both know it's right."
I wouldn't be offended if someone did that to me. Not at all.

I’ve never had a thread trending in MN before! 🤣

TBH, Op, the main risk is her saying 'oh now I've seen it I only want to pay £150' - the reason I don't ever take cash! Be prepared, and be firm.

Re counting - I would never be offended because everyone makes mistakes and counting out money is definitely one of those 'agh I've forgotten, better start all over again' situations where mistakes can easily be made. I'd be grateful to have avoided a v awkward situation later on if I'd got it wrong.

You counting it out in front of her protects you both, in case she's made a mistake and it's too much or too little. It's not rude - it's business. Just take the money, say "Thanks. £200?" and count it in front of her.

Count it in front of her as well.
Do not nip inside to count it.

She will expect you to count it so that there are no discrepancies.

All you do is count the cash in front of them, just like they do in a shop. No words, no apology, no explanation needed. We need to stop being so coy about money.

@WinterDeWinter

TBH, Op, the main risk is her saying 'oh now I've seen it I only want to pay £150' - the reason I don't ever take cash! Be prepared, and be firm.

How does not taking cash stop the buyer asking for a discount? Do you expect them to pay up front before they see the item? I don't get what you mean

personally i feel a bit funny about this as id never cheat anybody and id feel as though my trustworthyness was being judged , it was being assumed im out to short them a few if that makes sense , however as i guess everyones not me and having seen the above story about someone nearly shorted out of 100 quid i can see why people want to check it

i think the suggestion about asking her if shed like to check the item whilst you check the money sounds good though if you feel awkard about it

I'd go about it the exact same way someone in a bank or the Post Office would act: say thank you, name the sun and then count it in front of them.

This is not 'rude' it is entirely a sensible way to live your life

@chaosrabbitland

personally i feel a bit funny about this as id never cheat anybody and id feel as though my trustworthyness was being judged , it was being assumed im out to short them a few if that makes sense , however as i guess everyones not me and having seen the above story about someone nearly shorted out of 100 quid i can see why people want to check it

i think the suggestion about asking her if shed like to check the item whilst you check the money sounds good though if you feel awkard about it

Do you reply to scam texts and emails assuming they are genuine because you'd never try to scam someone?

It's very naive to think that because you're honest everyone else is.

You've really got to be super easy to offend if you think there's anything wrong with checking the money. I assume you don't work in a shop or a bank

actually i do work in a shop , and yes i have to check peoples money , and if its a big purchase i do feel a tinsy bit guilty of checking it lol , obviously i have to though as per the company rules , and no i dont get offended easily if i bought something off facebook marketplace no i wouldnt be seething if someone counted the cash i handed them , i merely said it makes me feel a bit funny , i dont actually get funny about it though ! bit sad i guess that so many people would cheat someone , and you cant rely on someone being honest

It’s not rude to count it. It doesn’t need apology or explanation.

You’re engaged in a business transaction. If you were in a shop and someone gave you £200 in £10 notes you’d count them out.

The person will not feel awkward and neither will you unless you get unnecessarily flustered.

Simply say ‘Thank you. I will just check this in front of you’ and proceed to count the cash out loud ‘ten, twenty, thirty,’ etc. Finish with ‘Great. Thank you very much’

If you get flustered or confused when counting, just say ‘Oops, will just start again’. If there seems to be too little or too much, say ‘I will just count that again’.

People make genuine mistakes, they try to be crafty, they overpay mistakenly too.

You do t want to be contacting them after they’ve driven away and they don’t want to be hearing from you again after. This kind of deal is done in person and without later recourse, so it’s vital it’s done properly for the benefit of everyone in a way everyone can see and so there’s no doubt or confusion.

If you don’t like dealing in money, don’t buy and sell like this.

I guess it depends too how she brings the money - if it’s 4 50£ notes it’s easier than 200 pound coins 🤣

Just take it and count it - but you should also check for fakes.

@MurmuratingStarling

Why do you need to be polite? Coz you're a woman?

@VapeVamp12

No because it's POLITE. FFS not everything is a feminist issue.

@WTF475878237NC

never ever heard a man ask how can I do this normal reasonable thing but politely.

Exactly! As you, and a number of other posters have said, no MAN would be apologetic for checking money he was owed.

It's POLITE to apologise for counting it? Give me a break!

The patriarchy has done a number of YOU hasn't it VapeVamp12?!

The patriarchy has done a number on YOU hasn't it VapeVamp12?!

You don't need to say anything, it's completely normal to count it in front of her so both of you are clear on the amount being handed over

@NormaSnorks

I find there are an above average number of CFs who buy stuff on FB marketplace etc. Other ruses include turning up with the wrong notes and expecting me to have change e.g.

"It was £25 wasn't it? Oh, I've only got two £20s. Have you got change?"
"No."
"Oh, shall we call it £20 then?"

Yes! I had that quite a few times whilst trying to sell items on Facebook marketplace, bloody cheeky!

For God sake, you just count the bloody money. Good grief

@ShadowPuppets

Ha, you never know, the woman could be like me… whenever I pay in cash for something I always get flustered and say ‘we said £200 didn’t we? It should all be there but please check it…’

It covers you both to count it out when you’re both there face to face, it’s as much for her protection as yours

Yeah this is me as well. I always say, "just check that, I think it's right"

I 100% it's right because I will have checked it at least 5 times beforehand but I always think what if they message me half an hour later & say it's short trying to pull a flanker

@babyjellyfish

Obviously you just count the money in front of her.

This. People usually count money in cash transactions.

Agree you should check the notes aren't fake as that happened to me. Sold something for £200 checked the notes in front of buyer and one was fake. He replaced it straight away

Whenever I buy anything in cash like that I’ll always say “just check that to make sure it’s all there” or something like that. Of course it’s all there but I want to avoid putting people in the situation that you’re in. Just count it. No need to explain. I check my change in a shop without apologising.