Why do people from London…

[ExcitedRabbit]

…always think you want to come to London?

Prompted by a specific incident this evening but DP and I have both noticed that when we arrange to meet friends in London there is always an assumption that we will come to them because “it’s London”. We have a lovely house on the Essex/Suffolk border with a garden and plenty of room to host people.

AIBU to expect people to come out our way sometimes rather than constantly being expected to go into London with all the faff and expense it involves?

Londoner here and I am the exact opposite - would rather visit friends who live out where they are. They have more space to host, plus it’s an interesting new place to head to.

I’m a Londoner and I’d rather you didn’t come here tbh, walking slow, not knowing the way anywhere, saying things like Convent Garden and pressing the door button on the tube when they doors open automatically anyway.

@Windbeneathmybingowings good point.

Londoner...always trying to get out....when people say oh we'll come to London I'll always try to meet them somewhere else!

I know some MNers like to make a sport out of London-bashing, but I still think YABU.

Maybe they think you’ll appreciate a day out or weekend somewhere where there’s a huge choice of things to do. That’s not to say there’s anything wrong with a more relaxed weekend on the edge of the countryside - but surely it’s up to you to ask them if they want to come to you for that?

I have good friends who have a big house in a fairly quiet, but accessible, part of Kent. I’ve been to stay there more often than they’ve come here as they have space and it’s ideal for parties or relaxing days. But if we want a night out or to see a show, they naturally prefer to come here. Why does it have to be either or?

This just isn’t a thing though is it

And yet.. wait for the numerous summer threads with coastal MNers moaning that everyone wants to come and stay and how awful it is having house guests etc etc.

Why do so many posters feel like it’s ok to make hand wavy generalisations about London and the millions of people who live here? I would never post a thread asking ‘why do all northerners xxx?’ ‘Why is all of Manchester yy?’ ‘Why would anyone want to live in Devon when it’s so zz?’

Why people feel justified posting this shit about London all the time? Live your own life and be happy you’re somewhere you prefer.

And in this instance OP it is (yet again) nothing to do with London. Your friends just can’t be arsed to visit you. HTH

Not all but some do do this.

An old friends wife just wouldnt consider doing anything outside London, she would often say "but there is EVERYTHING here!" and admitted that she couldnt imagine living anywhere else, although did concede that she might consider Edinburgh where she went to uni. She grew up in rural Ireland so its as if she considers anywere not London as being like that. She flat out refused to visit our town to meet her future inlaws (that attitude to them contributed to the ending of her marriage, personally I think he should have called it off pre wedding but....) She said that there was no point as there would be "nothing to do". I did once ask her what she thought non Londoners did with their time and she rolled her eyes and said "God knows".

It wasnt nastiness, just ignorance that there could be anything nice to do anywhere else.

Your friends though just sound lazy. They dont want to spend the time and effort to travel when they can push that on to you, so I would start saying "Why not come to us" and when they start pushing you to go to them say "Ok, maybe another time then". Start turning them down until it is 50/50 with them coming to you first.

I'm the only one of my friends who lives in London now and I know I couldn't PAY any of them to come to visit me! I always go to them, or meet somewhere in between, and I'm delighted about that. I live in a small shared flat on a high street, and they all live in lovely houses near the countryside. Why on earth would they want to come here?! Very occasionally a friend might come down for a specific gig or show and stay at mine after, but not really since the pandemic.

It's transport related for me! I don't have a car, so unless there's public transport to someone's house or they're willing to come get me from the train station it's easier to meet centrally. I do realise that puts the onus for driving on my friends, but it's just a fact that travelling in the countryside is really difficult for me so I often suggest that we meet in the city. If there's a train followed by the bus to someone's place, then I'm more than happy to make the effort even if it takes a long time.

@DorotheaHomeAlone

Why do so many posters feel like it’s ok to make hand wavy generalisations about London and the millions of people who live here? I would never post a thread asking ‘why do all northerners xxx?’ ‘Why is all of Manchester yy?’ ‘Why would anyone want to live in Devon when it’s so zz?’

Why people feel justified posting this shit about London all the time? Live your own life and be happy you’re somewhere you prefer.

And in this instance OP it is (yet again) nothing to do with London. Your friends just can’t be arsed to visit you. HTH

This 💯%

My experience is not like this.

I grew up in London, all family are eastenders. I have people come stay at mine all the time and we get the train in because it takes 20 mins and then we split an Uber home. Maybe twice a month we go out and do this. I wonder if your ideas of a “good time” match. Sitting in someone’s house sounds kind of dull to me, no matter how much space or fields you’ve got.

Have you invited all 8.9 million Londoners to your house then to form this conclusion?

If it is a group of friends from different locations it can be easier to meet in London rather than everyone schlepping to Suffolk. Do your London friends have a car? I love Suffolk but I’m on the other side of London so it is a bit of a ball ache to get to.

Maybe because they'd like to have a drink and would prefer not have to go some where rural and drive?

I'd rather go to London, theres loads more to do than in my town!
Just send them an invite to come to you instead, though.

I live in the Square Mile and (true to stereotype) couldn't give a fuck whether anybody wants to visit or not as long as I don't have to go anywhere with overpriced and infrequent public transport, crap mobile signal and no Deliveroo

When I lived in London, I did prefer people visiting because as well connected as London is, the constant changes were exhausting and annoying. Now I live outside of London and lots of my friends want to come visit now restrictions have been lifted.

I dunno about assuming that you want to come to London, but having moved from there to a commuter town an hour away from Oxford Circus, I think there are plenty of Londoners who think the world ends when the tube does.

Having said that I come from a northern town and although I'm always very welcome when I go, when I extend an invite they behave like there's dragons guarding the top of the M6.

I just think people don't like to travel.

Why are people who are not from London so obsessed with whinging about people from London? It's all over the boards!

Why people feel justified posting this shit about London all the time? Live your own life and be happy you’re somewhere you prefer.

Honestly I think the posters who have a big issue with London are the ones who are actually jealous and they’d prefer to live there themselves.

Our friends in London love to get out to the Surrey countryside where we live. We never ever go to their places in London, DH loathes the place!

I will occasionally stay at a London friend’s home, but only if it’s out of convenience after a night out. I would never go to London for a weekend just to hang out, whereas my friends love coming to us for the weekend to hike with the dogs, mountain bike, etc

I think it’s just your friends. I wasn’t like this for my 14 years in London and none of our friends are like that now we have moved out.

@SoupDragon

Why are people who are not from London so obsessed with whinging about people from London? It's all over the boards!

Indeed. Maybe the Londoners ought to choose some random unsuspecting city to post crass, ill-informed generalisations about day in and day out. Because obviously that would be fine too .