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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Table 8 CF

132 replies

HappyDays40 · 12/04/2022 13:53

Just stopped at Morrisons for a cheese toastie and sat down at table 8. A very unremarkable table not near a window or any interesting features of note. Sat happily drinking my brew waiting for my cheese toastie listening to a Podcast when CF lady walks over.
CF: error scuse me but I always sit here.
Me: Huh
CF: Yeh everyday at this time.
Me: okay well I was here first so....
CF: Are you gonna move.
Me: Errm now let me think ....... no.
Put my ear phones back in while she starts blethering on about the table. She even sort of place marked the table by placing two fingers on it.
I just keep shrugging pointing at other free tables and saying " sorry can't hear you". She slams he tray down on the next table and then sits there aaaaaallllll through eating staring and sort of making grouchy noises. WTAF can't stop giggling now but I didn't give her so much as a sideways glance brazened it out to the end then drank my tea slowly 😏. If ou fancy, leave an entitled CF story here they are never boring!

OP posts:
Bumblefuzz · 12/04/2022 21:06

I went into a small boots branch (three aisles) the other day. They have arrows still printed on the floor and a 3 person limit since Covid. The arrows don't entirely make sense as 2 sets do point towards tills and one back to the door. I went in to collect a prescription with 2 people in front of me, standing in the distanced markers for the till queue that we have all been using since about May 2020. The other 2 people are also still in the shop awaiting prescriptions. Man, probably in 70's enters the shop, walks up the furthest aisle as I get to the front of the queue, cuts in front of me and gives me a mouthful because I'm not in the queue because he followed the arrows in his aisle and I'm not respecting Covid measures.

Thisisthelifewevebeengiven · 12/04/2022 21:18

I love a cf thread and always think I’ve got nothing to add as I would endeavour to put the cf back in their box but I’ve remembered one from a few years ago...

We were on our way back from Disneyland when our flight was cancelled (while we were sat on it, due to a thunderstorm) we had 2 kids with us aged 8 and 5 so was a nightmare but we dutifully got off the plane, spent ages going back through the airport, customs etc and queuing in the biggest que ever, think it was about 4 hours until we got to the front to rearrange our flight, we were given hotel accommodation for the night and Free shuttle and told where to go where the shuttle would be waiting for us etc was about 11pm by now....waited in our area and saw a minivan arrive at some point, realised that there were people that had been waiting before us so hung back and kept an eye on our position in the ‘queue’ the next one we would be able to get on....the next one was nearly an hour later and by the time by hubby had put our cases in the boot and I sorted the kids a load of non English speaking adults had got in the van and there was only 1 seat left for the 4 of us, one of the adults held out her hands as if they would allow one of my kids to sit on her knee but obviously wasn’t gunna allow that to happen so I shouted to my husband get the cases out there’s no room for us they’ve pushed In. We went and found our own taxi after that and got to the hotel not long after them while they were sat in the bar having a drink....imagine pushing in front of children needing their beds to do that.

WhiteJellycat · 12/04/2022 21:18

I pulled into a space in the busy central town car park. The person parked next to me opened his door and told me to move. From a public space. I smiled and drove off. In my head I'd had already run him over and reversed a few times.

Dont park next my shiity old banger. Ok fuck right off then you utter dick for brains.

What he needed the space for? His massive sence of entitlement I guess. He should have parked across three spaces like the other people who think only they exist that day.

I was so taken aback I was disproportionately enraged for no reason. His issues was bigger than mine that day I'm sure. I parked the next space along.

tillytoodles1 · 12/04/2022 21:24

I joined a queue in ASDA behind a man with a few bits of shopping. As I started to unloady shopping, a woman walked up behind me and said "we're together", but she had a full trolley so I told her I was next and carried on unloading my trolley. Obviously she'd gone to get more things and left her husband to go through thinking she could just push in.

NotTheOW · 12/04/2022 21:24

I'd have just moved tbh. If all the tables are the same I don't see why you'd deliberately annoy someone who likes to sit there.

NotTheOW · 12/04/2022 21:28

Maybe she used to sit there with her partner or friend who is now dead

PrincessPaws · 12/04/2022 21:29

I had something similar at the gym. Had put my stuff in a locker and was walking out when the CF walked in and said 'errr I always use that locker', and was not particularly happy with my 'well I'm using it today, I'm sure you'll find another one' as I walked past her. It infuriates me when it's first come, first served

MichelleScarn · 12/04/2022 21:33

@NotTheOW

Maybe she used to sit there with her partner or friend who is now dead
So no one else can ever sit there if she's in the cafe?
cinnamonbiscuit · 12/04/2022 21:37

Aaaargh this has reminded me suddenly of a time years ago in Costa when I was sitting at a table with a comfy seat, and a woman came and plonked herself down opposite me.

In my utter shock I said nothing for a few seconds, then her friend appeared and said ‘oh sorry it’s just that she always sits here, she likes this table’. In the moment I just couldn’t wrap my head around the audacity it takes for someone to go and happily sit at an occupied table. She was smiling away at me.

For an easy life I got up and moved but honestly remembering it makes me so cross because I just let them steal my table for absolutely no reason Sad I’m sitting here cringing now thinking about it and what I should have said.

Luxplus · 12/04/2022 22:13

@Thisisthelifewevebeengiven

I love a cf thread and always think I’ve got nothing to add as I would endeavour to put the cf back in their box but I’ve remembered one from a few years ago...

We were on our way back from Disneyland when our flight was cancelled (while we were sat on it, due to a thunderstorm) we had 2 kids with us aged 8 and 5 so was a nightmare but we dutifully got off the plane, spent ages going back through the airport, customs etc and queuing in the biggest que ever, think it was about 4 hours until we got to the front to rearrange our flight, we were given hotel accommodation for the night and Free shuttle and told where to go where the shuttle would be waiting for us etc was about 11pm by now....waited in our area and saw a minivan arrive at some point, realised that there were people that had been waiting before us so hung back and kept an eye on our position in the ‘queue’ the next one we would be able to get on....the next one was nearly an hour later and by the time by hubby had put our cases in the boot and I sorted the kids a load of non English speaking adults had got in the van and there was only 1 seat left for the 4 of us, one of the adults held out her hands as if they would allow one of my kids to sit on her knee but obviously wasn’t gunna allow that to happen so I shouted to my husband get the cases out there’s no room for us they’ve pushed In. We went and found our own taxi after that and got to the hotel not long after them while they were sat in the bar having a drink....imagine pushing in front of children needing their beds to do that.

I'm not sure I get what is CF about it
Grilledaubergines · 12/04/2022 22:28

@MrsRobinsonsHandprints

I am about as anti be kind as possible, but in a situation as you describe you are not some hero standing up against an entitled cf. I would have moved, if their life was such that they needed to sit at a unremarkable table then the effort of me moving to one of the empties would be worth it.

That's not being walked over that's being decent.

I agree. If a table means something to someone, where’s the hardship in being pleasant and moving.

I get CFs are annoying but really, where’s the issue in just being pleasant. No loss to you, important to them.

Chloemol · 12/04/2022 22:37

@MrsRobinsonsHandprints

It doesn't matter what another person with or without a MH issue or ND would have done or been able to do. This person wanted to sit at a unremarkable table. If it was the best view or the only one left then yes they are almost certainly a cf , but to want to sit at a unremarkable one?

This isn't standing up to a cf, this is crowing and expecting praise for standing up to someone who has issues.
So big clap op, hope you feel BIG and PROUD, you 'taught them that they needed to learn a coping mechanism' it's not 'enabling cf behaviour' it's being decent.

Get over yourself

No one has the right to any table in a cafe, op got there first, there was no need to move as plenty of other tables, and from what she says the person asking didn’t ask, she just expected

Why should she have to inconvenience herself to move all her stuff elsewhere, she shouldnt have to it’s as simple as that

Flowersandwine12 · 13/04/2022 06:39

Good for you op

Thisisthelifewevebeengiven · 13/04/2022 07:28

luxplus really? You don’t think pushing in front of someone who was waiting at least an hour before you is cf?

I mean perhaps you could argue they weren’t aware, but I highly doubt it.

Bogeyes · 13/04/2022 07:30

I would sit there every day!

Ivyonafence · 13/04/2022 07:31

@IDontHaveAnOutingHobby

Was it possibly someone who is autistic? Who cant manage change? Who needs routine in their life?
Yeah that was my first thought.

I don't know how I feel about people applauding someone who didn't make a small accomodation for someone with an autistic trait.

It's hard to know in these stories.

Elsielouise13 · 13/04/2022 07:36

@IDontHaveAnOutingHobby

Was it possibly someone who is autistic? Who cant manage change? Who needs routine in their life?
This
MiddleParking · 13/04/2022 08:08

@cinnamonbiscuit

Aaaargh this has reminded me suddenly of a time years ago in Costa when I was sitting at a table with a comfy seat, and a woman came and plonked herself down opposite me.

In my utter shock I said nothing for a few seconds, then her friend appeared and said ‘oh sorry it’s just that she always sits here, she likes this table’. In the moment I just couldn’t wrap my head around the audacity it takes for someone to go and happily sit at an occupied table. She was smiling away at me.

For an easy life I got up and moved but honestly remembering it makes me so cross because I just let them steal my table for absolutely no reason Sad I’m sitting here cringing now thinking about it and what I should have said.

Everything about this example definitely does make it sound like the woman had some kind of neurodivergence or SEN and that it would have been the wrong thing to do to challenge it. Don’t be cross with yourself about that one.
Indicatrice · 13/04/2022 08:32

@Thisisthelifewevebeengiven

I love a cf thread and always think I’ve got nothing to add as I would endeavour to put the cf back in their box but I’ve remembered one from a few years ago...

We were on our way back from Disneyland when our flight was cancelled (while we were sat on it, due to a thunderstorm) we had 2 kids with us aged 8 and 5 so was a nightmare but we dutifully got off the plane, spent ages going back through the airport, customs etc and queuing in the biggest que ever, think it was about 4 hours until we got to the front to rearrange our flight, we were given hotel accommodation for the night and Free shuttle and told where to go where the shuttle would be waiting for us etc was about 11pm by now....waited in our area and saw a minivan arrive at some point, realised that there were people that had been waiting before us so hung back and kept an eye on our position in the ‘queue’ the next one we would be able to get on....the next one was nearly an hour later and by the time by hubby had put our cases in the boot and I sorted the kids a load of non English speaking adults had got in the van and there was only 1 seat left for the 4 of us, one of the adults held out her hands as if they would allow one of my kids to sit on her knee but obviously wasn’t gunna allow that to happen so I shouted to my husband get the cases out there’s no room for us they’ve pushed In. We went and found our own taxi after that and got to the hotel not long after them while they were sat in the bar having a drink....imagine pushing in front of children needing their beds to do that.

Sorting the kids out how? Why didn't you get on the bus with the kids and let DH sort the bags?
IDontHaveAnOutingHobby · 13/04/2022 09:11

Please stop with your virtue signalling, its offensive. Many autistic people would be embarrassed by this womans behaviour, and you're tarring them all with the same brush.

I assume that you are not autistic?
Dont have autistic children? an autistic father? father in law?
and dont work with autistic people everyday?

I do, so please dont be so rude.

babytum · 13/04/2022 10:37

As someone with a teenage daughter on the spectrum that breaks her heart daily to fit into this neuro typical world these virtue signalling “she must be autistic” posts make my skin crawl. Each one of you are aligning rude anti social behaviour with autism and it’s so bloody offensive. People with autism are not generally rude and offensive, bad mannered entitled people are.

Hesma · 13/04/2022 11:29

Please go back next week at the same time, same table 🙏🤣

IDontHaveAnOutingHobby · 13/04/2022 12:21

@babytum

As someone with a teenage daughter on the spectrum that breaks her heart daily to fit into this neuro typical world these virtue signalling “she must be autistic” posts make my skin crawl. Each one of you are aligning rude anti social behaviour with autism and it’s so bloody offensive. People with autism are not generally rude and offensive, bad mannered entitled people are.
Your daughter is your daughter

Autism is very different in different people. I work with children and young people who will only sit in 1 space. Eat the same food everyday. Travel on the same bus. Cant communicate their needs when challenged by other people. 'Thats my seat' is something that I hear every single day.

Generally people are not shitty and if someone acts likes the OP describes then SEMD or autism would be my first assumption.

Its a pity that we dont all all have a greater awareness and a bit more tolerance.

Mybumlooksbig · 13/04/2022 12:46

Could have been an autistic person? My son is 11, looks and sounds "normal" (sorry hate that word) but had a melt down the other day as he couldn't get to sit behind the driver like he likes to do. He screamed on the bus all the way home...

BoredZelda · 13/04/2022 15:34

She’s at home probably still annoyed about it. You’re here, posting on MN about it. Two people’s day’s made worse because a couple of petty adults acted like kids.

I’d have moved. If someone wanted the table that much, as long as I’m sat down it doesn’t matter to me.